Confused and worried

[Bambi]

I've only recently come out about my cross dressing to my wife. A few days later I chatted with my younger sister and my mum who were both very supportive and I ended up going home with hand bags and tons of make up. However my mum asked how far I wanted to go with it and if I'm honest I'm not sure myself I would love to cd everyday but my wife still wants a man some nights and I have two children age 6 and 18 months and I keep thinking how it would effect there school life and so for the minute it looks like Bambi is in home or out on special occasions for my kids sake. Anyone else been through this or have some advice would be very nice to hear. Love Bambi x.

[DonnaT]

About all you can do is take each day as it comes.

Many CDs know they want to remain on the middle path, but a few find they need to transition when staying on the middle path becomes unbearable. Generally speaking, but there are exceptions, the transitioning CDers have had some idea since they were small kids they should have been born a girl.

[Carol Ann]

Oh Bambi ,
Hon you got the same problems a lot of us have or had, it took me almost until the time I retired before I could opening dress all I wanted. Like you for the sake of my kids I stayed in the closet until most of them moved out and I could get out more often.

Now as to what you want in the long run is between you and your wife, me I am a happy CD'er and enjoy it. I guess all I have left is going fulltime but like your wife mine said NO!!!! .

[KimberlyS]

Juggling family needs with personal needs and wants is always challenge to find a balance for everyone. And as soon as you find a balance things change and are out of balance. It is like hitting a constantly moving target. The best tool you both can have is communication and the willing to work together to make things work. CDing is just one of the many things in the mix so always work on the relationship as a whole and never just part of it.

I wish you both the best of luck.

[Davita]

What Kim said....

As to the be honest about not knowing how far it will go? Seems that's the answer when asked. "I'm just really happy dressing right now. We will have to see some time in the (late?) future..."

Now that your out, there is a new found freedom that will (or already has) affected your thinking. Little milestones and various negative events will be part of what shapes your whole direction just like any other aspects of life.

Don't be worried and it's fine to be confused. Welcome to our world...

[Carolynn]

Often when you have just come out of the closet it seems a great weight has been taken off you, and you just want to shout it to the rooftops, in a manner of speaking. Give yourself some time to adjust to a new reality. Remember, baby steps, and lots of thinking about what will work best.

[Absaroka]

Carolynn's comment about the euphoria of the moment when the secret is suddenly less of a secret is spot on. As to how far you may wish to take this, it's a question of great concern to those closest to us, because let's face it, most people marry someone of a certain gender. Remember that if this wasn't really important, it wouldn't be important to us either.

As everyone said, baby steps. Personally I'm glad that I didn't go any further in telling folks about this. For me it's about the clothes and my imaginary friend, and not much more. But for some people it's about something very different.


I've found these forums to be immensely helpful, both in terms of self acceptance and in terms of just having someone to talk to stuff about. In real life about 3 people know about this, and that's enough for me.

In general I'd say that you want to go out of your way in completely unrelated areas to let your wife know just how much you appreciate her. Or as Helen Boyd says, if you want to get in touch with your feminine side, do the dishes.

Absaroka

[Satara]

I'm a lifelong cd so I can relate completely..my wife found out about me a few years ago and she still is a total servant to me sexually bcuz I kno how to plz her (in a manly way) ...but she wud NOT tolerate me cding for her or with her and I understand ...I also hav kids and I wudnt dare expose them to that bcuz I kno that's smthng they wudnt understand...(disregard my spelling errors, thats how I txt...I'm am intelligent)