Privacy Issues

[Shannon]

Well I know this has come up pretty intense lately and I would like to add my two cents....

The internet is a public source, it is there for all and that is really what makes it so valuable... I for one have been significantly influenced by the internet, for the better.... I have developed new hobbies (that I seriously enjoy), I have learned new abilities (I have designed and built power supplies that without the internet would have never existed), I have grown to have a better understanding and acceptance of myself (as a crossdressers, as an Engineer, as a human being) by reading the thoughts of others on the internet, I have seriously grown in many ways because of the internet....

Now for the other side... the internet in many ways is a sorry place with alot of anger, fear, loathing and bigotry... There is many opportunities to fall into things that will only make you miserable and destroy your sense of well being....

So basically the internet is HUMANITY.... it is based on society, so it reflects all aspects of society... those we like and those we don't.....

Now in terms of this forum... it is our little piece of the internet... it was created by Sharon(SO) and myself, because we couldn't find what we were looking for in terms of crossdressing support.... We have the BEST group of members and moderators around (thank you Beauty and Lefty) and thank you all members...

This forum is really turning into something I am very proud of... We planted the seed and now see a beautiful flower growing and flurishing, I hope it continues for a long time..... Because of this beautiful flower we attach attention... most we like and some we don't

This forum will attarct the attention of trolls (to trash us), researchers (to study us) and others like us (to learn from us)..... but I don't see we can limit one without limiting all... all we can do is make sure the GOALS of this forum are protected and upheld....

We (the administrators and moderators) will be as vigilent as possible to protect all members from invasions of privacy, harassment and other negative forces.... That is my goal as the founder of this site... I owe that to you all......

Specificically about this forum... we made it so you had to register to post (this prevents rude trashers and trolls), we made it so anybody could read (to make it available to those who are needing help, but afraid to jump right in), we made it open to both CD's and SO's (because that is how we grow as CD's and SO's, by learning both sides and being open)....

We however require no specific information about you as a person, all you have to provide is an email address (which can be totally annoyomus if you wish) and a User Name... this forum has no outside advertisers looking for customers, no research studies looking for "lab rats", it has nothing more than similar minded people looking for friendship, understanding and advice.....

If somebody comes into this forum looking to harass the members, they will be removed, if somebody comes in here looking to write a term paper they will be allowed (but carefully watched)..... this forum is nothing more than a place to speak openly and get answers, understanding and support for a significant portion of our lives..... I truely hope it is providing that...

I for one would be seriously upset if my personal data was made available to the world, but I don't see that happening from this forum... and I have a lot more personal information connected to it than any other member... my real name, address, credit card, email address, etc..... If anybody should be worried about being "outed" from this forum it is me.... and I definately don't want that to happen, so I certainly won't allow that to happen to any of the members here... this site is designed to be secure but open... I personally feel there is nothing here that can be trolled from the out side to make a connection between a member and their "real" selves....

However I still respect all members right to request to be removed from participation here if they feel an unwanted threat from their participation here.. that is your right and I totally respect that...

Well my hands really hurt and I think I am rambling.... I hope you understand what I am saying...

Shannon

[Jadeanne]

Hi all,

Please excuse me a moment while I take off my blonde wig and pour the peroxide out of my shoes. OK, now I'm ready.

I am so glad that Shannon and Sharon(SO) decided to create this website and that Beauty and Lefty do a great job as moderators.

Thank you for building and maintaining this wonderful web home for so many of us. We, the members do not see and can't fully realize all of the effort put in by the founders and moderators to keep this running well. I know that many of us enjoy the tasteful seasonal graphics themes.

I agree that allowing guests to read posts is a very good idea. When this site first started and Shannon posted a notice on CDDF I lurked for several weeks, joining after I was satisfied that this going to be a good place without the sleaze and other things a lot of other CD sites were. (note to Shannon - the "other" forum has negative posts about here that are mostly motivated by jealousy - this site doesn't allow sleazy and hateful things to be posted but the founder of the "other" one tends to let these go).

Each member should consider your comfort zone for personal information to reveal in posts. Don't post more than you're comfortable with> If you feel more comfortable, you can add more details later. For communicating with specific individuals, there those wonderful inventions the personal message and email.

Be careful out there.

Okay, time to put my wig away tonight and head for bed.

Jadeanne

[Kersten Lee]

Shannon,

I have no idea what all is involved to create this home for me.
I hope you understand my heart felt gratitude to you and all
involved in building, maintaining, and policing this site for those
of us trying to find our happy place in the world.

CDDF became too cruel and rude for me to continue my visits.
It became painful to me and not the supportive place it was earlier.

Thank God and those of you involved here. I have no continuing
support from those around me. My therapist does in a limited way.
My wife does, but she has fewer female defined traits than I.
A couple friends don't hate me but don't really want to share my
happiness in discovering and participating in my feminine
person. My wife doesn't understand my love of shopping, my need to
go out to participate and interact in the world as Kersten.
She supports and loves me dearly as I do her. I want so much
for her fear to diminish so she could go out with me and enjoy
my feminine fun and fulfilment.

I need to hear other's success and failures. And I have a need to share
mine with those who understand me. From junior high, I remember
John Dunne wrote, No man is an island! I have felt like a lonely
little self absorbed island for years, No one stopping by to visit.

First CDDF and now here in a much bigger way, I am not an island
anymore!

The biggest thank you, to you and other site management,
And thank you, to all my friends I love,

Kisses,
Kersten Lee

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Shannon.

This forum provides a way for some such as myself to take a step out of the closet, in a some what protected environment. (meaning safer than CDDF). The success or failure of this forum will be determined on how well it meets the needs of the people it serves.

For me it was the second step out of the closet, the first step was CDDF. being new to the net I would not have joined a place that required me to register. I had to get involved and get my feet wet before I could become comfortable with registration.

I do not have a problem with the security here, to lock this forum up as was suggested (in my opinion) would be to retreat back into the closet. Or create another closet, we need to be able to learn to live in this world as best we can given the situation we find ourselves in. And we need places like this and CDDF that are meeting different needs for different people, at different times in their lives.

For most of us we do not come out of the closet in one big step, it is generally done with baby steps.

Thanks so much for providing the vehicle that allows us to take one of those steps.

[Josey]

Hi Shannon,

I would like to echo what Darlene said. I spent about 55 of my 62 years in the closet and it is nice to come out a little. CDDF did some of that for me also, but this forum is soooo much nicer. I still am concerned about privacy but feel pretty secure with y'all. Thank you so very much.

[LeftyRainbow(SO)]

It's great to see all these posts and positive support for what this forum is about!

Thanks for letting me be a part of it Sharon and Shannon!

Lefty

[CJ]

Hi all,

First, I want to thank Shannon and Sharon for having created and for maintaining this wonderful site. When I first joined, back in late October, I was taking my first, stumbling, steps into the world of online contacts. I found the CDDF first, but was never entirely comfortable with the atmosphere there (and I'm still not, really); I found that the absence of any password requirement on the CDDF allowed trolls to post whatever trash crossed their small minds, thus sabotageing whatever sense of community could have possibly arisen out of such a forum. This is not the case here, where there is a strong feeling of kinship and "sisterhood," precisely because the board is monitored, on the one hand, (kudos to Beauty and Lefty for work well done), and shaped by registered contributors, on the other. And that board is in the shape of a heart.

Second, anything we say or reveal about ourselves, anywhere, at any time, and to anyone, whether in meatspace or in cyberspace, can always be used maliciously by those whose ulterior motives are less than noble. It's a risk we take whenever we "exchange" with even just one other human being (let alone a couple hundred!). The possible advantages, however, far outweigh that risk. We come here to learn about others and about ourselves, to break our isolation by inviting others to visit our "island," to find a soft shoulder to cry on in our times of trouble and a mirrored mirth in our times of joy, to discover how we can better ourselves in our relationships, to simply let ourselves relax in the company of others whose life experiences parallel our own, and, hopefully, to present a fairly united "front," so that it may one day be possible to teach the world who we are as individuals--especially as transgendered individuals.

This last ("teaching the world") is a bit touchy, though, because, as Beauty pointed out in the Privacy Guidelines, this site is for support, not ethnographic studies. I think this is what, unfortunately, made Julie withdraw from the forum. She assumed (rightly, I think) that, one, her being transgendered isn't something to be scrutinized apart from the context of her entire life and her entire being, and, two, her participation here, a place of comfort where self-revelation is encouraged, would not be subjected to the evaluation of outsiders whose understanding of gender issues is framed by purely academic interests. Yet, and although I agree with her motivations in quitting the forum, I think it's not necessarily unhealthy to let the "outside" world know who and what we are (as crossdressers, transsexuals, and other sundry TG variations), if and when that world shows any true interest in finding out. The lives and experiences of people here, for those willing to share, may be a perfect antidote to the poison of popular misconceptions and stereotypes regarding the transgendered world.

Having said all this, I understand the need for privacy. Yet, this is the pull within us: we want the world to know our true selves but we don't want to blow our cover, so to speak. Some here are more comfortable with public scrutiny, some less. On that basis, the administrators and moderators put in place mechanisms (passwords-to-post and tight moderation being only two) that ensure the most privacy possible in a public forum. I think there's not much else that can be done, aside from refraining from participating in public forums. To my sorrow, Julie has chosen this route. I respect her decision, though.

Two things we can keep in mind here are, first, to make sure that "outsiders" with a view to learning about, and understanding, the TG world are properly monitored in their goals, their legitimacy, and their respect for our privacy (something I believe Shannon and Beauty have done all that is within their power to do) and, two, to prefer private means of communication between members who are sensitive to public scrutiny. I, myself, have developed personal channels within this forum, and have revealed information to others that I wouldn't dream of posting publicly.

I really hope that this will blow over eventually, and that, as Beauty wrote elsewhere, "we may keep the family together." I think I'm not alone in rejoicing in everything this forum brings me. I'd be sad to see it wither because of privacy issues.

Love,
CJ

[Kyra]

Thank you Shannon.
Thank you Sharon.
Thank you Beauty.
Thank you Lefty.

It's amazing how sometimes we make a choice in life and the consequences change forever the world in which we live. In a perfect world this site would not really be needed. People would live harmoniously. But the world isn't perfect. And people aren't either. Thus, this forum was created by wonderful people and cherished by many.

I find solace and peace here. I found friends and have learned so much. It makes me feel so good to have this place available to me (and others).

Thanks ladies. Thanks for all your hardwork and dedication.

Hugs and Kisses to you all.
Kyra

[Tammy(SO)]

Great Place. I would have never signed up if I had not been able to browse the SO section first.

We do have to be careful in what we post. Sometimes in a tight web community you forget that is public. So always keep in mind, you may be comfortable now, but things can change at anytime. It is easier be a bit more conservative in your posts, then to come back and change them later.

I had a problem not to long ago, a lurker mistook some info I posted about DS. Those that new me well understand the post in question. I had never though it might be taken diferently from someone who did not know my back ground until it happened.

[Sally]

I was one of the original members of CDDF from it's inception and back in those days it was a wonderful place and helped so many people with their issues, but I said in the early days that open public forums such as those have a limited quality life before 'that element' infiltrates and makes people feel uncomfortable to the point of leaving.

I feel this forum is the best around atm and personally I welcome the fact people have to register to post articles and the fact it is moderated, it makes people feel safer, more comfortable and also ensures that wives and SO's are protected from the seamier messages some would post if allowed. I know we are all adults but there is a time and place and limits to everything.

Personally I feel that if we voluntarily choose to post here, and knowing full well that the world can read it then we must be prepared for others to use it in any manner they choose, bearing in mind any copyright laws which may or may not prevail. I believe that is what public forums are for, in our case I believe this place is very educational for those who may wish to learn and it gives people a chance to express themselves or unload any pent up feelings which they may not be able to find a release for, due to their personal circumstances.

I commend those who initiated the start up of this forum, it was sorely needed and I also commend all those who actively participate and for the manner in which everyone conducts themselves, that is also a tribute to the fact of registration required and monitors, which are needed on forums such as this because of the subjects we discuss and how some of the public view us.

I have no problem with anyone using any material I post for research or for the benefit of others, I stand by anything I say and anything I say is to the best of my belief factual, but of course always open to healthy debate. I've never learnt anything from anyone who totally agreed with me. None of us know it all, I am still learning after a lifetime of dealing with my gender issues and I dearly hope this place not only continues on as it is, but it grows into something of a land mark for our people.

My Kindest Regards to all.

Sally.

[Bernice]

Thank you Shannon.
Thank you Sharon.
Thank you Beauty.
Thank you Lefty.

I do not have the slightest clue how you manage to make this site work, but I am grateful to you for all your efforts. It must truly be a labor of love.

Without your site, I would never have met Julie. If I may be so vain, I believe we became good friends here. Of course I miss her posts. I miss being able to go back and re-read her posts. But of course, as a friend, I must also respect her decision. She has been under stress that for any normal person would be absolutely crushing, so all she will get from me is more support.

I think also that Beauty has a remarkable track record for knowing exactly what to do, and for consistently doing the right thing. Beauty exemplifies good judgement. I am just not smart enough to be able to understand how she can do her impossible job so very well. She makes it look easy, but I know better. I suppose Beauty has more data on us (or could have) by tracking the ISP and IP addresses used when we log on. However, Beauty has long ago earned my trust.

Anything of value entails taking risks. I've given what its probably way too much information on this site in my posts, now that I really think about it. My avatar really is a picture of me. A determined detective could easily "out" me. As I write this, I suddenly realize how vulnerable I am. Yet at least until now, I was sleeping well at night (please ignore the time-stamp on this post). I think I am not bothered because I think that most persons who come here are in fact perfectly genuine, and they come here for the same reason I do.

I fervently hope that people with only evil intentions find easier ways to find their prey than to come here and hack their way into a person’s private life.

I have to believe that most people are inherently good people. I am reminded every time I lose my cell phone, or leave my car unlocked, or leave my wallet in my coat unattended. My wallet was only stolen once in the last 25 years, and when it was stolen, dozens of good people helped me get it all back.

Perhaps I have my head buried deeply in the sand. If so, I’m gonna spend a long time getting that sand out of my blonde wig! But I shall worry about that another day.

Hugs,

Bernice