a big wave building...

[Gina]

All,

Perhaps this is the place to share. My CDing has been very limited for months: summer in Houston is part of that as I tend to stop under dressing with horrid heat/humidity. Another cause is having my college daughter home: no privacy. Then there is general life stresses: dismal work situation waiting to see if we have jobs (maybe news end of August?), my mother in very poor shape, travel, my brother having a physical/emotional breakdown (maybe turned the corner). Then my wife generally is not supportive, but I came out to her long ago.

But, yesterday I ordered some beautiful new Peavy shiny black tights. That is a step. It is ages since I bought anything femme. I feel a wave building and a period of very femme expression. These come in cycles and are stress related perhaps and noted by huge enjoyment of dressing. And my daughter will return to college mid-Sept. and I will get a bit of alone time with my wife out of the house some. Fall will come.

I suppose others go through cycles. I think I have been semi-depressed all summer. Maybe coping will include some Gina time?

[Karin]

Uh oh...
After compressing like that I can only imagine the boing in this spring but like you say, the clock keeps ticking and 'those times' roll around again hang in there and enjoy it when it comes!...

The cycling of craving used to hit me baaaad and that's why I went full time. It was so unbearable hiding it. I'd get dressed up then a short while later I'd have to tear it all off cos I wasn't out. Oh god it sent me spiralling and fast. I'd be really moody till I could get back to it. Then the kids busted me so I 'came out'. Then I started going out more and more and I got seen by a member of family..oops outed a bit more.. Now I just don't care who knows - I'm going for it. That in itself could be messy but at least I don't crave now hahaha

I lived in Houston for a few years and yeah that heats 'orrible. Still... you cooould wear a bow or two?

[Joanne T.]

In the short time I have been with CD-Forum I have gained confidence and self belief in leaps and bounds. I have come out to my estranged wife, started shopping in local stores and being a lot more daring in how I behave at my home, saying to myself I hope I am seen so that I can come out completely.
However for the last 2 weeks or so I have been soul searching and questioning my own behaviour, I think I came on too far and too fast in too short a time. My wife who I thought had come to terms with everything is now acting somewhat distant and reserved. That said I am still dressing and adding to my wardrobe and jewelry almost daily. I hope this is just a normal recurring cycle.
Whatever happens I will keep every one informed. I will not be having a garage sale just yet, so have a little patience Gina and things will work out for you
Hugs and kisses
Joanne xxxxx

[Gina]

Patience, yes that is the key, you are correct. A deep meditation I had a couple weeks ago gave that drop down word in neon letters. I made a couple small steps: wore some pantyhose to work on Monday and ordered some new tights. My wife of course noticed the ebay order and she is ok with that. Some alone time will be good.

My story is a dual stage coming out to my wife years ago, and some friends. My wife was initially supportive, and we did counseling, and then with time she became more cautious and distanced.

We all have our own paths.