How do you feel about crossdressers or husbands that are?

[Anthony Simon]

...so the answer would be i married a man i would expect him to be one, he should have had the guts to say before marrage long before even dateing, let alone a relastionship. im a crossdresser.

A couple of months ago I was in a department store in London, looking to buy a wig. The girls there weren't that keen. It took a while to actually convince one of them that I really meant to try one on with the intent of buying.

So we got into it and I was trying stuff and she could see I was serious and she started chatting. Basically she asked me was I a CD and what it was about and what I guess are the sort of questions women have when they haven't knowingly talked to a CD before (which is odd if you're selling wigs, but there you go).

She asked me when would I tell a woman and I said pretty much at the top. Her reply was "no, don't do that." Her view seemed to be that telling a woman too early would put her off unnecessarily and that I should let the relationship develop enough for that potential partner to see me in the round before the bombshell.

Then she said she was initially put off (i.e when I turned up), when I made it clear that I wanted to buy a wig for me - like there had been a prejudice against CDs that the discussion had allowed to lift.

So the message I got was let the woman know you as a person, then get into the problem.

[Noeleena]

Hi, There,

Were the young ladys young or older what age about . most women i know would be about 35 to 50-60. those are of cause working in the many shops i go to & with Jos, mind you we know most of them & have done over 15 years,

Some we know are 25 -35 in other depts . i think age would have a different outcome for those older, the other detail is im very well known so would be different for Jos & myself, they alllso know Dejarn our grandaughter who spent years with us shoping & meeting many people every where, those who know myself dont have any issues with me & yes we talk about many subjects so again would have a bearing on how we see things or interact, remember im over 65,

interesting your comment on the young ladies ,

...noeleena...

[Anthony Simon]

The woman I chatted with was early 20s. The other woman was older, but it's hard to know how much. She was a frazzled supervisor sort of person who really only came to life when she realised I'd bought a wig (rather than just rabbit).

I think that the girl I was talking to was young enough that, if she liked a person, she was going to like him - and not let any ideas she'd got get in the way. Like her ideas weren't set in stone yet.

The other thing is I have an inkling there might be a generational thing involved. Like her generation is kind of undecided as to what it's going to make of the world just yet - and that played out in how she interacted with me.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Thankyou for that.

i was sort of looking along those lines , iv not had any issues with younger young lady's or young men . i get on very well with them even those from school because many reconise me any way & will allways say hi, or chat with me.

it comes down to how you interact with them. even most of thier Mom's & dad's ether know about or know me,

What i do wonder about is now many if not most dresser's try thier best to look like act like be like a woman, though thier voice seems to throw them hence some try not getting in to talking with people, so does that really make the difference between being accepted for who you are, its the dressed as a woman yet speak as a man .

Now i know there is an issue with that for most so they hide behind the facard yet whats wrong with you walk into a shop say hi im a cross dresser would you like to help me to buy a wig or clothes that would help me look more like a woman ill tell you what over here in the main its not an issue,

Iv done this many many times years ago. just slightly different wording i was dressed as percived male ,
went in said hi, i need to buy some clothes because im a female & the next time you see me you wont reconise me because ill be dressed as a normal woman the two women aged 55 & 60 said we dont have a problem .& we just chated as normal women.

Now i see them allmost every week & have done for over many years, some for 15 years, & we talk about every normal details going on in our lifes & that includs Jos plus Dejarn, what i have found is you be up front & honist to begin with youll more than likely have friends for many years,

Okay because im female i see this very differently than the men who dress or crossdress,

As i have done with some i know who are dresser's or trans iv introdused them to my friends plus those who are working in the shops, , my friends know me to well so when im talking about our groups or the forums im on they know who i mean .

just so you dont worry , they know i dont give out names or details concerning those i know who are dresser's or trans, on our forums thats very private info. & they understand that,

...noeleena...

[Ralitsa]

I see it this way. Whether to start a relationship with a person is a big question to answer. And, whether to look past the crossdressing and get to know the actual person is also a big question to answer. If the 2 questions occur simultaneously, then it's too much to deal with all at once and the default answer to both will be "no".

So the timing needs to be changed. Either: they know you as a crossdresser and as a person before being asked to have a relationship; or they decide on the relationship before knowing about the CDing. I like the first approach myself, because it gives me a lot of time to decide whether I even want to bring up the issue of a relationship. I also think that women prefer this sequence as well.

[Eileen (SO)]

I know this thread was started a while age, and is not very active. Reading so much, listening to others, every relationship is unique. I just was on the chat room, and sure enough, the conversation gets into cars, bikes, and how much work out, etc. Dudes, it's boring guy talk, that's why women talk to each other. We make more sense.
Sorry to rant. I've been-we've been married 3 decades now. Back then, given the public knowledge at the time, him admitting to wearing women's clothing would have been a deal breaker. And, at that time, he didn't fully realize that his desires were not something to be ashamed of. I've come to accept that his hiding as a CD from me was not intended as a lie.
I do not fully embrace his female desires, nor do I want to make him feel uncomfortable while doing so. He's not cheating on me or harming anyone else, just don't bring it to the neighborhood.
We can look through clothing catalogs together, sometimes while he's dressed femme. I still see My Guy's face across from me, he thinks we're having a ladies conversation.

The Thread topic how do I feel about CD's or my husband? Go for it, baby. Never again crab on how long it takes for me to get ready. You may look great, but acting as a woman is a lifelong process.

Eileen

[Noeleena]

Hi Eileen.

Some issue's that come up are not about the clothes as no dought youll see what iv written

Clothes . the skirts dress's that men wore 1400 to 1700 Renaissance times was never an issue then . ill only this time as we our group reinacts those times, i make all of my garb = clothes, to fit my body. female, now the men some of our 250 members , all wear dress's skirts or similar even when out siders come in nothing is said other than ...wow.... how neat.

Okay . those men who i know quite well are all male - men strong manly looking okay allmost all. not a hint of trying to be like a female or woman , and as iv said often they do look rather lovely.

So two things here one people today who see us = those men are very accepting of what we do & how we dress,

why then today are men trying to look like female / woman. trying to emulate act like be like even & to pass as women.

Does this come down to lacks, of confidence ,self worth, confidence in who they are as men, lack of self esteem. dont worry i'v heard most reasons, & talked to many 100's of men who will say they are dressers or trans,

my self . its not the dress or skirt. its all the rest of the whole thing of is it a wont , so a ? is would they wear an out fit that was made for them for thier body shape, not like i do or buy or given that fits my body as female, that looks right fit's right, & comfortable, , this is where i find it hard to understand men , for a bit of fun the men are all dolled up say a pantomime not an issue.

You see it gets more involved they wont our space , toilets what our women stood up for in the 1860 -1920s & died for, they wont it all they wont what they have as men then dress as like women & wont what we have, yet treat us as dirt. use us then discard us,
So its not just about clothes,

Okay i know we have a lot more freedom & can do lots more, what are these female desires. thank you for your comment on

...He thinks ,,, we are haveing a ladiess converastion. love it that says it all. oh how i would have loved to be the fly on the wall. how neat. that just say's so much to me,

A reason i never related to men. could not . oh yea i can talk thier langage about work cars well not todays kind & a few other details yet could never understand men. i was trained under them yet in some ways it has helped myself,

How can you be some thing or some one your not, you cant its not how we are born. hope you get my thinking on this,

Thanks Eileen, so lovely,

...noeleena...

[Eileen (SO)]

I got a bit emotional last post, it's a woman thing. He was out last night dressed as she. I want to better understand the emotional need to do that. Any guy could dress as a female, but the need to do so must come from some inner female. What desire does it fulfill? Becoming female in appearance is more than clothing, it's a mind set.
Cd's and Tg's seem to want input from a genetic born female. Then, when I sign on a online chat room, it's the same boring guy talk that most woman stay away from. Hello! A real woman born with the parts you had to buy from a store wants to talk about being a woman. Nah, bikes and cars.
I have had deep discussions with my guy, he does not have any more perspective than his own. But, especially when dressed, he can talk to me as if we were two women. She being very new at it, of course. Discussing women topics will help the guys trying to act as proper ladies, and help me understand the deeper emotional needs of the man I love.
Otherwise, we are wasting each others time.

Eileen

[Carla Michelle]

Like most conversations, that particular one drifted to fashion. I had my first in person conversation, about girly stuff, with a GG friend the other day. I had come out to her and her husband the week before. We talked about nails, clothing, styles, fitness, posture and lots of other stuff that I can't remember now. We also talked about shape-wear, panties and bras.

I guess my point is this, as Transgendered persons, we can talk about subjects on both sides of the gender binary and still be comfortable.

As a Transwoman who is just now starting her journey to womanhood, I have a lot to learn about where I'm headed. I am excited and eager and impatient and scared yet I also know that I will never be happy unless I take the Trans pathway. I'm 43 now and spent the last 35+ years trying to hide how I really feel. In doing so, I've learned how to be fake. Some of the stuff fake me had to learn, I actually like.

Does that make me a 'tom-boy' type girl? I dunno. And ya know, it don't matter. I'm me, I know who I am and in the near future I will present as female. I'm happy to talk about almost anything you want to. And I only hope that I can help you understand the TG life a little better.

[Eileen (SO)]

I'm a woman with usual female needs in a relationship, meaning, to be very blunt, I want a man with all the proper functioning parts. I can understand an accept those that wish to transition, it's your life. In my life, my partner, soul mate, will be all man when the bedroom door closes.
If I'm to understand the TG life better, then don't discuss cars or bikes when online.

Eileen

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Eileen.

The Emotional ,Psychologcal side of a male. that is something iv spent some time working through .
yet i thought i knew a bit about men , well maybe i do from what iv seen & heard, from thier side, from a males point of view, no i have no idear, iv struggled with that for 56 out of 66 years, still no wiser, so in trying to see what makes a man wont to be a woman is beyound me,

I wont open the can of worms as iv had flack over that yet the men in our group are just all man. no hint of feminine detail. yes its a hard one ,

...noeleena...

[Carol Ann]

Hi Eileen,

Well lets see here, I dress about 95% of the time and that's my life. BUT when the cloths come off I am my wifes man and we had our goods time and managed to have 4 children.

I don't entend to of ever gave it a thought as I am still a total man under all of Carol's outfits, all I can say it can and does work if you try. Sorry my $.02 worth as we are still married going on 50 yeads.

[Eileen (SO)]

Good for you both, Carol Ann, on the long marriage. The only times I've thought half serious about being the other gender, is when dealing with auto mechanics, contractors, or getting to the car in a dark parking lot. Everybody has hobbies or interests that someone else may not fully appreciate. Portraying the opposite gender seems to more prevalent with men dressing as females, than with women dressing male. And being denied to do so brings about deep depression. His dressing is much more than a hobby or annoying habit. It's not a choice on his part, therefore I accept it and try to have as much fun doing so as I can.

Eileen