Do we objectify sex?

[CarlaWestin]

By emulating our sexual expressions, do we objectify sexual expression?

I've found the the act of sensual entanglement with the opposing gender is an intuitive implementation that is, well, rather confusing to me. What does a woman really want me to do? I can go through the studied motions and expected digital implementations but usually, it's not engrossing for them. They just don't get into that zone. This is a conclusion from 40 years of dealing with 'them'. Only when I dress do I get 'in the zone'. Call it pink fog, 'cause it is, but, that's my zone. I control it. It's all about me.

So, what are your thoughts?

[Ralitsa]

First off, I think it's impossible to generalize about this because everyone has their own motivations, as is true with most subjects.
And I won't even try to comment on what most guys do or what most gals do, because I have no idea whatsoever and I doubt that they tell the truth anyway, even to themselves.
As for myself, I don't think that I objectify sex. I have a very conflicted attitude about it, because I find the physical aspect to be somewhat compelling but also very unfulfilling. The emotional aspect should be more fulfilling, but to date has only proven to be a source of trouble.
So the only comment I can really make is that it's just all a huge mess and there is no good answer.

[Davita]

Hummmm.... I don't have sex. I make love. If all I want is sex, who needs a partner when you can satisfy yourself better than anyone else? Just sayin...

[DonnaT]

What is a sexual expression? What do you mean by objectify sexual expression?

I've found the the act of sensual entanglement with the opposing gender is an intuitive implementation that is, well, rather confusing to me. What does a woman really want me to do? I can go through the studied motions and expected digital implementations but usually, it's not engrossing for them. They just don't get into that zone. This is a conclusion from 40 years of dealing with 'them'. Only when I dress do I get 'in the zone'. Call it pink fog, 'cause it is, but, that's my zone. I control it. It's all about me.

So, what are your thoughts?

If I understand this part of your post, it seems you only go through the motions during sex, and never commit emotionally? And that you feel more in tune with being lesbian, therefore dressing as woman and having sex with a woman is what turns you on?

I've only been able to 'get in the zone', as you say, with my wife, before and after marriage. Dressing has had no effect on that. I guess that makes it more about my feelings for her, conscious or unconscious.

[Paulette]

What is sexual objectification? Gosh, folks. I don't know! Why intellectualize what should be a nice roll in the hay? It's like asking if sex is dirty. You can get all tangled up in definitions and distinctions, or just go with Woody Allen and say "it is if you're doing it right."

Sex is like a DVD from Netflix: sometimes it's a costumed period piece, sometimes it's a comedy, sometimes it's a Walt Disney True Life Adventure. Personally, I try to stay away from the horror flicks and the documentaries. YMMV.

Do you love the person you're making love to? Are you in love with them? Are you just gettin' yours and leaving the rest up to your partner? Do you talk to each other? When was the last time you bought her (or yourself) a red nightgown and took her to a motel? Objectification can be fun, or boring. It's up to you.

[Anita]

Only when I dress do I get 'in the zone'. Call it pink fog, 'cause it is, but, that's my zone. I control it. It's all about me.

I picked this statement out of the post. You might not be talking about actually being with a partner while dressed. What you may be saying is that you understand and / or feel more of what sexual expression is all about when you're dressed, whether or not there's another person involved. And that if you're having to take on the role of the opposite gender in order to feel that, then maybe you're feeling that you're making yourself a sexual "object," in order to get a certain result.

I'm making a stab at understanding what you're describing here. I'm not trying to put words in your mouth.
I thought this might explain your opening line:

By emulating our sexual expressions, do we objectify sexual expression?

By the way, I really like that avatar! Nice pose!

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Oh dear, not sure and it seems to be over my head,

I thought love making was about both giving to each other being close and you give in such a way it becomes beautyfull for both , and later on your family is going to be from both of you,

Maybe a bit simple minded i know and ...maybe i never quite got it right one thing i do know is what we did get right was having 3 children would have been four that was a disapointment,

Any way's,

...noeleena...

[KimberlyS]

CDing has never been sexual to me if that is what you are asking. Like others I do not have sex, I make love with the person of my my affections. For me it is as much emotional as it is physical if that is what you mean by being in the zone.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Anne Bonny]

Objectify...hum...looked it up but I do not see a woman as an object, they are a person and they are different from men in how they think, their hormones tend to make them somewhat passive or less aggressive in some ways that is a huge generalization because they certainly can be quite ambitious, and aggressive yet estrogen is supposed to have the effect generally of reducing aggression tending to bring them to express their wills differently from men. They are made physically well opposite of how we are made so that we fit each other like a lock and key. I have thought about being a woman and believe it is more difficult for them to make love to a man, though they can certainly get on top and do that but it is a little more difficult. Ahem... They are beyond that set up to carry a baby to term and then to nurse them, and instinctually to protect and to mother the infant they have carried for 9 months and given birth to. We are more protectors, hunter gatherers, and Fathers but from observations many men wind up being little more than sperm donors who have sex and leave all responsibility for what they have done behind them. I find this beyond being disgusting, difficult to understand. I don't know where it comes from perhaps it is not instinctual but I feel a sense of responsibility, I cannot just have a physical act the only reason being self gratification without any feeling or emotional connection with numerous women creating offspring and feel no responsibility for any of it at all - it would disgust me. Yet many men do just that and it is not uncommon at all. Perhaps this comes from a changed heart? or a moral absolute but I would not be able to behave like that, I would never be able to live with myself. I am not grandstanding or patting myself on the back - it is just an objective personal fact of how I am made mentally and morally at least.

No I do not objectify sex. For myself there are very real emotional entanglements with any woman which involves responsibility and a deep relationship of shared love between us without that it is just a physical act with no gratification other than physical. If there is not emotional connection - Why would I do it? There is for me a huge order of magnitude of difference between one and the other making the other of no value. It can be done but should not be in my book.

I want to add in my edit that this only applies to myself. If others feel differently you are perfectly free and entitled to do so. Thinking about my language I thought - that's a little harsh so I came back to correct myself.

[Ralitsa]

I don't think you were too harsh at all Anne, and I agree entirely with your attitude towards the subject.

[Requal Jo]

I support and concur with all the posts. Love is love and there is nothing objective about the entanglement. It is a beautiful sensual and emotional act between two loving people and consummates the relationship.