First time out by myself

[Vannessa Andrews]

I was out of town working a few days ago and I was supposed to meet some friends for dinner and they were not able to meet me, so I thought about just ordering takeout at my hotel or going through a drive through and picking up dinner, but after talking to my friends, I decided to go out to a restaurant by myself. I felt I did so well at dinner, I actually went out to the store to pick up a bottle of wine before going back to my room. I am so grateful to the friends that I have met through this forum. I don't think I would ever been able to make this step without them. Maybe one day I will be able to help someone in the same way.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Woo Hoo!! Congratulations, girlfriend!!


- SL

[Kelly]

WAY-TO-GO !!!! I'm so happy for you.

Hearing about someone else's positive experience helps taking those first steps. Thanks for sharing your adventure.

Kelly

[Babbs]

congrats! i hope to do my first public appearance soon too! thanks for the inspiration.

[Davita]

Vannessa, bummer about the friends not being able to hook up. BUT you got out! Congrats!

[Eileen (SO)]

Way to go, Vannessa! Eating alone is never fun, you found a way to make it special. This was a main stream restaurant? Any reaction from other patrons? And how was your server?

Eileen

[Carol Ann]

We are all very proud of you as it's a big step, you will find it will be much easier from now on.

Go lady and be seen, have fun

[Anne Bonny]

I suppose were I to come out completely I could just relax about it, some people would reject me and be gone forever unable to accept that I find myself in dresses on occasion and feeling quite feminine. I am so glad I am financially independent and can tell everyone to bugger off as the Brits would say....if they do not like who I am. I suppose were I to reach the point it would be as big a step as having my ears pierced, no turning back, a permanent identification and acknowledgment would be made that my gender is indeed female permanently because I think people would not be able to think of me anymore in the same way and their view of me would permanently come up in their consciousness as "transvestite" or "transgendered" whenever they would think of me from the time I come out openly forward....
Not sure I am ready for that permanent and unfair characterization that would stain their thoughts of me forever. Now the better they know and understand who I am they would in time I am sure begin to acknowledge and to recognize that a sizable part of who I am is most definitely male and quite frequently masculine much of the time even with this permanent slice of my gender being feminine.

That's a big jump for me at this juncture...You are an inspiration, congratulations of your choice to live openly to the world. I hope someday to be able to take on that choice. I really in my mind would not mind people thinking of me as a woman, or that my gender is feminine, or that I am a transvestite, or a girl, or a cross dresser, a sissy...whatever. And If I do not care that people know that is a huge milestone for myself personally. So I do not mind being categorized in people's minds and being thought of as being on the female side of the spectrum, but I also would like to be understood eventually as being someone who straddles gender. Then there are those relationships that are important to me, of good people who would not understand and who would probably leave that I do not want to lose...These calculations are barriers for me to overcome to walking out the door in a dress, getting into the car and driving to the mall to shop for women's clothing or to eat, or to go visit, or to go have fun somewhere...

We hold the key to our own closet, we can choose who to allow in, and we can choose to walk out of the closet and lose all control of the situation permanently allowing our neighbors, family, friends, and groups to make a decision about us - acceptance or rejection or perhaps something inbetween some urging we get help, some less accepting perhaps but still keeping us in their lives.

Such a decision is hard and at 57 I realize I have less time left to make any difference.

This is not about me, I am thinking about and admiring also congratulating your decision and hoping or wanting to do the same though I am holding myself back.

I should have just written Congratulations - You go girl!!!

[Anita]

It's great to read about your outing, Vannessa. Way to go!

[Requal Jo]

Congratulation Vanessa. Courageous step taken. I believe the first time is the hardest (I am yet to get the courage and confidence) and all thereafter just flow on naturally.

[Martina Hall]

You go, girlfriend!

[April Rose]

There are people in the world who talk about stuff and there are people who do stuff. You, My dear are one of the people who do stuff!

[Vannessa Andrews]

I posted a couple pictures of the outfit I wore out, if anybody would like to see it.

[Carol Esme]

Brilliant Vanessa. You didn't let a little thing like friends not being able to come put you off. I've just checked the gallery. You looked fantastic. No wonder everything went well.

[OliviaM]

I also just checked out the photo. You looked great. I hope to go out soon and your story, as with others i have read here, keep adding to my desire and courage. Thank you. Talk soon.