Coming Out To Parents at Age 55

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Soon after my wife died in October of 2002 I went back home to take care of my ailing parents. One evening in early 203 I came downstairs, where they were watching TV, I was totally enfemme, including wig, maleup, and eye wear. My parents were not surprised and did not batter an eye when they saw me as "Arlene." It seems that thay had suspected for years, as at times my moms' thing would vanish then reappear, out of the blue. My mother was heartened as I had copied her style, right down to the cat's eye frames. which she picked as her first pair(s) and many pairs that followed. Many of her cat's eye frames had very extended "tip" at the end, as mine, usually, do.

[Andrea F.]

Congratulations. A huge weight was lifted of your shoulders. Very hard to keep our dressing secret. Confiding with others who understand makes us feel proud of who we are.

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Thank you Andrea. Hugs & Love.

[Carol Ann]

Arlene is free now to be her true self

[Virginia]

Hi Arlene,

Congratulations! As has been said, it is sure a big "weight to be lifted" off our shoulders!

That being said, it is not the way I would have done it and in my professional opinion, not the way I would recommend that it be done. It worked for you, but what if they had been "unprepared" or not as accepting as you evidently felt they would be? I think a start with superficial conversation about "it" would have been. perhaps, a more gentle way to approach the situation. In most situations, "springing this" on unsuspecting people, WIVES IN-PARTICULAR" is definitely NOT the recommended approach! There have been many documented instances where it got UGLY, real fast!!!!

Just saying!

V

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Thank you Carol Ann & Virginia.

[Requal Jo]

Thanks for the story Arlene. It is amazing what parents know about their children and never disclose until they have too.

[Gina L.]

Hi Arlene, It's lovely to know how you came out to your parents and I know from chatting to you that you love and enjoy your femme side.

Congratulations Hugs Gina L.

[Paulette]

Yes, there are times when family or close friends share an undisclosed knowledge of ones cross dressing. This is quite similarly common among gays who are effeminate but not "out."

Like them, you may be more effeminate than you realize, making an open secret that's really only secret from yourself. In which case they may all be pleasantly surprised to find that you are only a cross dresser.

Another and quite different ball of wax is when family has made denial into a fine art, and require it of all members.

So yes, start with a light discussion about cross dressing, and that it's not necessarily indicative of orientation (which gender turns one one), or wanting to change gender or gender presentation. Perhaps beginning by asking if they know someone who's gay, and then someone who cross dresses, and how they feel about it all.

Really! -- baby steps. Then listen carefully to their response.

Then adjust the conversation as needed - just don't let them scare you off.

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Thank you Carol, Virginia, Requel Jom Gina & Paulette. Wonderful posts ladies.

[Carol Ann]

So a quick follow up, how has Arlene's life change now?

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Carol Ann,
I now live as a woman 24/7 and date men. I also go out to CD events, but that has been on a limited schedule, especially of late. I am happy now that I am living a lifetime dream-Living as a lady in my adult years. Thank You Darlin-MUAH !====PS/I also spent more time at LGBT sites.

[ArleneMcCarthy]

When I came down the stairs to "tell" my parents about my lifestyle I believe that my mother was most accepting for many reason, as she had known for many years was because I copied her fashion look well over 90%. She, in her prime, was a brunette, while I am using a blonde or redhead.

[Trudy]

Somehow I think mothers always seem to know Arlene. I came out to my mother on my 40th birthday back in 1993, my sister knew well before that. When I told her she just smiled and told me she had always known and was surprised I hadn't told her sooner. I think most parents, at least mothers, would be accepting if we are open and honest with them about it.

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Thank you Trudy, I totally agree.