Telling my family

[Ginny Jones]

I have recently told both my sister and my daughter about what is going on for me. On both occasions, these conversations went very well - much to my relief!

This is big stuff for me and I notice that my reactions are still all over the place! I am therefore in danger of babbling so i'll try and get to the point!

At this moment I would like to make two observations which might be useful to others here.

The first is that both my sister and my daughter were relieved to hear what was going on! This kind of surprised me! It transpired that both had been worrying about me because whenever they asked what I was doing with my time - it appeared that I was just hanging around the house on my own! Since I am someone who has quite an active femme social life - I obviously couldn't share this with anybody outside the "fire wall". The view of me from out there is clearly very different from the one that people see once they understand what is going on.

My second observation is that having told my family - I'm finding that this has left something of a "hole" in my psychology. I'm noticing how much energy was being expended thinking about how this conversation would go and what would happen if they accidentally found out and ... ad infinitum! I imagined that telling them would be a release (and clearly it is!) - but at the front of the queue is this overwhelming feeling of having to rethink my future since I have now told everybody that I need to know and that really changes the landscape.

Make of these what you will. I just thought they might have some resonance for some of you.

Hugs and stuff like that

Ginny xxx

[KimberlyS]

Ginny, congratulations on you telling family and it going well. WOW that is so great for you. I look forward to hearing more.

Kimberlys

[Anita]

Coming-out stories on here are generally upbeat and good to read. Good for you, Ginny!

My second observation is that having told my family - I'm finding that this has left something of a "hole" in my psychology. I'm noticing how much energy was being expended thinking about how this conversation would go and what would happen if they accidentally found out and ... ad infinitum! I imagined that telling them would be a release (and clearly it is!) - but at the front of the queue is this overwhelming feeling of having to rethink my future since I have now told everybody that I need to know and that really changes the landscape.

I've noted in many posts the energy that it takes to hold onto this whole 'secret' process, and how much easier it is when a t-gal is no longer having to pay that 'tax.' That's not quite what you're talking about here, but it seems related. New thoughts are free to flow now that the blockage is gone.

[Anne Bonny]

I have made progress, I am who I am and my gender is what it is so opening the door and telling those closest to us is so important if we are to enjoy a normal life. Congratulations, I hope you can find happiness and live openly and be who you have always been so that the whole wide world knows you and loves you for who you are. Anne

[Ginny Jones]

Anita - I really like that idea of a t girl tax! That's exactly it ... holding onto all this secrecy really costs us!

Anne - thank you for your warm wishes and support. We'll get there!

Hugs Ginny xxx

[Requal Jo]

Congratulation Ginny. The door is now open to a new and brighter future.

While it still maybe difficult to tell others, you will better prepared having shared with your family.

[Giselle]

well done ginny hopefully we can chat sometime soon sis

[Ginny Jones]

Thanks for your congratulations and continued support ladies!

Hugs Ginny xx

[Paulette]

. . . My second observation is that having told my family - I'm finding that this has left something of a "hole" in my psychology. I'm noticing how much energy was being expended thinking about how this conversation would go and what would happen if they accidentally found out and ... ad infinitum! I imagined that telling them would be a release (and clearly it is!) - but at the front of the queue is this overwhelming feeling of having to rethink my future since I have now told everybody that I need to know and that really changes the landscape.
Make of these what you will. I just thought they might have some resonance for some of you.
Hugs and stuff like that
Ginny xxx

Oh, yes!

One of the things I noticed after I (finally, successfully) quit smoking is how much energy and attention I'd put into the act of smoking. It felt like there was now a hole in my energy field, my persona, and that the complex and all-encompassing behavior of "smoking" now needed to be filled with something else.

That sounds a bit like what you might be feeling. You devoted a great deal of your psychic energy into not just want to dress, but keeping a secret, not being obviously femme, hiding your wardrobe, not being seen by anyone who might know you while you were en femme. etc., etc.

Now you don't have to hide it, . . . at least not so long as you don't freak out or run wild through the streets in a baby-doll nighty.

That's a lot of energy which can now be applied to your actual life! Amazing, isn't it?

Think of it as a wonderful gift that you've just given yourself. Enjoy!