Dressing To Pass As A Woman.

[Martha G]

I am basically a guy who occasionally dresses as a woman to relax and to relive stress. It is very enjoyable.

I do not want to become a woman but when I dress as a woman I want to pass 100% if possible.

I do make a good passable woman when dressed. I also am working to perfect my voice, walk ,mannerisms, proper makeup and so forth.

How do you ladies feel about dressing to pass?

Do you dress to pass or not?

I usually dress for costume parties if I go out usually as historical ladies or just as a plain lady.

This girl thanks you in advance for your answers.

[Andrea F.]

It sure is enjoyable to relieve stress. When I look at your avatar, you certainly look like a lady. As for me, I am not sure I can pass but with a little work that could happen for me. We will be here to help you find answers to who you want to be.

[Virginia]

Ah Martha, The eternal question! Why do we do what we do, not so much how, but why? Not only do we need to determine where we are on the continuum but what we look like in our own eyes and of course in other's eyes.

We all approach our interaction with the "great unwashed" in various ways. The two extremes are either, "hey, this is who I am, don't like it? stick it where....." well you get the idea, to " what if I get read, what if I see or run into someone I know, what if I don't pass, everyone is looking at me and laughing at me and I just want to die, why did I do this........" etc.

Then you get into the semantics, of course tied to the philosophical interpretations of why we do this. Is it just a fetish or is there something deeper going on/happening in my brain that makes me desire to dress like this and then for some unknown reason want to subject myself to the scrutiny of my fellow human beings with the chance of be ostersized or berated or incurring some type of physical violence?

I have been taken to the proverbial " woodshed" more than once for expressing my sentiments here on this forum, but I am usually right!

Semantics or definitions can be a real boogyman for some of us. Like what is the difference (IF ANY) between a crossdresser and someone who is transgendered or transsexual? Is there a difference? In our universe opinions are like as@#$(&^, everyone seems to have one. Well, as far as a definition of these three terms and there are others of the same ilk.

My response would be "it ain't braggin if you can do it!" Thus if you dress and go out and survive both externally and internally, bless you, you done good! What you look like or even why you individually do this well, that is something that you will, in the end, have to determine for yourself. The girls here can give you a lot of sage advise but in the final analysis you have to accept, what I am fond of calling "a gift." That being to invade the universe of the other side if you will. Again, why you desire to do it, well you alone will have to determine that for yourself, but with input from some of the ladies here will only help you make that decision.

The majority of us who are who we are and present as who we think we are are for the most part trying to emulate that which we adore. Our perspective of this adoration can again go from one extreme to another. Some of us perceive women as whores and dress as such, others are WalMart sisters, and others try to blend in given whatever environment that we place ourselves in. We do have as many options as we have interpretations of who we are and why we are!

Don't know if I answered your question, but I know I probably pissed some of my sisters off here, sorry 'bout that, but there is this "gift" some of us have and how we accept it, share it, understand it vary like the stars in the heavens.

Go Forth Woman and BE!

Virginia

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Do i dress to pass or blend in as a female. ...NO.... I did for 11 years wear one of my wigs till i totaly got sick of getting headaches and now the only time i do is for our Edwardian group, and thats once a month for our morning tea and a few other do,s we have on during the year.

only because i was told that i look more complete as a woman , we did go out 29 of us on last saterday for a bus trip and all dressed in our finery for the day looking at old buildings built in the 1890.s and of cause morning and afternoon tea and all, a lovely day as it was,

Do i pass or blend in not really depending how you look at myself i say no any way others well .....i am a female who does not look like one , masculine facial features,

As for dressing yes my clothes are nice and i spos you;d say feminine though some are plain
I know its hard so look at my photo and see what you think. i mean im not bothered im well past that issue,

Though theres another side to this had i been a feminine looking female i would not have doors opened for myself as they have been and given talks to large groups of people or many other things , so i see it quite differently, my or how i look is not counted concerning those who know me and those i meet PR work for our groups, and im too well known ,

And quite frankly i would not know what its like to seen and passed by and not have people look at me wondering if im male or female , its when people stop and talk with me they find out , i am just a female just a bit different thats all.

and no makeup so what you see is the real who i am , and thats what people relate to , concerning who i am,

...noeleena...

[Anthony Simon]

With me, it's a sensibility issue as much as a clothes issue. Although I've never been out, I have twice had people see me looking into the house. One of those times I was wearing nightclothes including a negligee and the woman just smiled at me - like she just assumed I was another woman. I am convinced that was a lot to do with the mood I was in - like I actually get to feel I'm a woman and that both affects my moves, but also my general demeanour and the whole tone of the expressions on my face.

So, in this case, the woman was kind of right - in a certain sort of way she was seeing another woman. It's hard for me to maintain that - and scary for me if I do. So that's one of the questions for me about passing in public - to do with maintaining my sense of myself as a woman for the whole time. Like what does that mean for who I am? Will I be able to come back from it? Will I retain my sense of my self once I do?

It's those sorts of mental fears, rather than the questions of humiliation and physical attack that Virginia mentions, that particularly play on my mind and freeze me up.

[Sarah Beth]

I'm never going to pass for a woman, well except maybe to someone who is half blind a block away, so I won't pretend that I can. Would I like to be able to pass, or course I would, I think deep down that the majority of us who do this would love to be able to go out dressed and have people believe that we are totally feminine in all regards.

When I was in my teens and maybe early twenties perhaps I could have pulled it off to some extent but I'm never going to get to that point where I pass today. I'm in my 60's, I'm a man and I can't change that. My goal is to get that point where I don't look hideous when dressed. At times I even find that hard to do. Most of the time once I have the makeup on I don't look in the mirror again. Rather I just go about what ever it is I am doing and just enjoy being who I am.

I don't go out. I have only ventured very far from the confines of my abode in a dress one time and if you saw my post that turned out to be disastrous. I am pretty sure that form now on I'm going to a homebody when I'm in a dress and avoid the mirrors and the obvious knowledge that I am never going to pass.

[Martha G]

I only dress as a woman for costume events. Other than that I never go out.

Last Halloween I went to my party dressed as Mrs. Bates from Psycho and a good majority of the attendees thought that I was actually a woman dressed as Mrs. Bates!

As you can tell from my photos in the gallery and my avatar I look like a passable woman.

I just like to become the character that I am dressed as.

So, I think that I will realize that my female portrayals will never be perfect to the "T" and just enjoy being in female dress and my persona as Martha.

I appreciate all of your advise ladies.

Thanks.

[Carole Hill]

Hi Martha,

I always dress so that I can "pass". Fortunately for me, I do "pass", or so I have been told by many, including GGSs. Even if I am home alone I dress as if I were going to be in public.

Many CDs enjoy wearing women's clothes but have no intention of trying to pass. Many are what is called "fetish dressers" so there
is no real attempt to pass as they are not going out in public.

Being able to "pass" involves much more than just looking the part. One needs to learn the many different mannerisms , movements, speech patterns etc. as well. As with any skill, practice is required.

Good luck.

[Martha G]

How true.

Passing as a woman in looks is only a part of the overall procedure.

I do have a womanlike voice so I really need only feminize that.

But need to practice on being more feminine in walk and mannerisms.

Watch how other women do these.

Then practice, practice and more practice.

To me I like to be the character I am dressed as coming from a costume background.

[Anne Bonny]

Sigh...why? Just be who you are live and just be yourself and people will accept that. Why do you feel like an actor playing a part in a production you must go to such lengths to effect what takes tremendous effort and would be tiring to me at least. I will concede there are some small things that make sense ...Bra inserts but not everybody uses them and no one notices. Clothing, make up. The booming voice and large sweeping movements and coarse speech it would be reasonable I suppose in public to refrain from these... but if we are already reveling in our feminine mode much of this just happens without even trying because of our mindset or mood. But personally I basically will always be my confident self and I bet the public probably respects and accepts that much better than someone pretending to be effusively effeminate and falsely so because it would stand out like a sore thumb even more so than just being confident and self assured. But I do not go out into public at least not at present.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Do any here belong to any groups that do dress in clothes or garb of times past , because thats a place to dress in clothes that you may not wear in public an no one really cares,

heres an interesting point concerning my self that i have brought up .

Think 250 people and your dressed in garb 1400 - 1700, and for a week together, and helping run the week as well, lots of things you can do from kitchen dutys im one of the cooks to music yes i play with our music section and singing yes to that as well, and theres more beside you can get involved with ,

Now many thought i was taking on the personer of a woman in those times now they were not bothered and thought i had the guts to carry it through till they in this case figgered i was a female ,

So theres a place for men to dress and do a role or inactment and become a part of those times as fun with some history thrown in and have a good time plus being accepted for that ,

One thing i will say its not about passing blending in or trying to be like women , it does not matter, just think as i,v been finding out many men and surprise a lot of women did take on the other roles or dressed like men , for what ever reason. so its not new or something that was not done over many years,

So there is a place and when you look beyond the western society thinking you find a lot of scope and you may be very surprised how much. so join a = The SCA world wide Renaissance group.

...noeleena...

[Martha G]

I am very much into costuming. And often I go to costume events in female attire.

I costume as:
A Medieval Duchess in a floor length gown and small train
A Southern Belle in a 115" hoopskirt
A Grande Aunte in a 115" hoopskirt
Mrs. Bates From Psycho in and old ladies dress
Charley's Aunt from the play and film in a 115" hoopskirt
An woman from the 1870's in a 115" hoopskirt

I have also become an expert impersonator of elderly ladies, grannies, aunts and dowagers.


With my costumes I can use various accessories and become different characters.

I have been perceived as a real woman when dressed as my characters which is a real challenge.

However, I have about 17 male characters that I costume as too! I do the female one intermittently.

[Eileen (SO)]

I am basically a guy who occasionally dresses as a woman to relax and to relive stress. It is very enjoyable.

I do not want to become a woman but when I dress as a woman I want to pass 100% if possible.

Dear Martha, That is how my husband explains his desires to me. Oh sure, some femme time around the home does not need full make up, just like any woman. When she goes out, the intention is to be as completely assumed as a woman in public. A large, less than beautiful, husky voiced, woman.

Eileen

[Wendae]

Look in the mirror and if you think your presentation is good. You go girl!

[Heather W]

Do I dress to pass? Not really. I dress more to fit the excursion when out in public. I have been told I do pass pretty well by several GG's and feel very comfortable out in public even though it has only been less than a year since Heather came into the light of day. If I pass then great, if I don't well it is my life and if I choose to spend my free time in a skirt so be it!