When you're asked your name...

[Davita]

Many of us "live two lives" and so we have our two names. When you're asked your name, do you have to pause and think about it for a second or two before you answer? I don't and I guess it's because I'm out and talking with people often enough it's instinctive to give the "right" name. However, when completing paperwork like a survey or some such, that's when I run into that pause.

Who do I want to be to this entity receiving my paperwork? In the same vane of using the right name, I always run into the gender/sex question. At Red Cross, for as many times that they ask the question, I am momentarily stumped.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

I have a few names so depends on who knows me, noel or no-el - french- is both a boy or girl name so little difference which one is used, and i dont mind though all most every one knows me as noeleena. edwina , Loch-head, the two other names are German and Prussian .

For all legal documents and the like its as stated,so really my first name could be spelled as
noel-eena or noeleen'e' just to mess with peoples minds. ya ya i know = weird,

any way,

...noeleena...

[Carol Ann]

Sorry Davita,
I only answer to Carol Ann when I am dressed

[Wendae]

I only answer to Wendae!

[Stephanie H]

Only answer to Stephanie when I am out and about. If having a conversation with a clerk in a store, I will freely give my name if asked.

[Eileen (SO)]

The husband has on-line ordered clothing with his femme name, using his credit card. Eventually, he started getting e-mails and junk mail to 'her', including credit card applications. So now, she has her own card to shop with.

The surveys, or paperwork you refer to, Davita, are they legal forms that require positive ID's? If not, answer as how you feel you want to present yourself to them.

Eileen

[Kelly]

In my 20's I always answered the sex question with something like "when ever possible". So take what I say with a grains of salt.

If you're stumped, then write in stumped

[Davita]

Girls, I didn't ask which name you used, I asked if there was a momentary pause -- a noticable hesitation -- while you got your mind around the answer. That said, I still appreciate your repsonses.

As for surveys, Eileen? I've never known any to be a legal document, but yeah for legal stuff I use my real name. You brought another interesting thing -- the credit cards. All cards that I have had don't care what name you have on the card itself, they care what name is on the account. All my cards have my 1st initial and my last name. I only have one account card that both of me uses.

[Eileen (SO)]

I was think of court survey's like for jury duty, Davita. You don't need to present an ID, but you can't misrepresent who you are either.
I'm told the husband does not hesitate when using her name, it sounds similar to his guy name anyway, so that helps. When dressed, she is so into the mood that the guy part is an after thought.
Just as when children start getting mail in their own name, they are so thrilled! And the same with her. All the clothing catalogs now come in her name, and CC applications. She filled out one as a female, except for his SSN. He was home one day when the card issuer called to question the discrepancy. He told the lady on the phone that when he buys clothing on-line, he is a woman. The card was approved with her full femme name on it

But I have gone off topic, dear Davita. He as she doesn't hesitate on names. When we go out together is a different story. At CD events, we are husband and wife during introductions. At main stream outings, we can't use the term 'husband'. Even when most of the group are the same people. I had used the term 'partner' if asked, that seemed too cold. We have come to use the term 'wife' for each other. It's another minor thrill for her, but I pause a moment saying, 'this is my wife'.
In my mind, this is for pretend and just play along. Saying wife out loud doesn't flow yet.

Eileen

[Requal Jo]

I am only Requal when dressed as equal, Davtia

[Davita]

very helpful, Eileen thanks. Ro, my better half, hasn't been put into that position yet. Now I have listened to by buds fumble for my name when they are talking to her about me.

[Diana Michelle]

It is funny in that when I went FT and had my name legally changed I never thought a thing about it and never answered to anything but. The only problem came when my first husband's daughters met my parents for the first time. I was originally totally rejected by my family when I came out and told them of my plans. I was so hurt when I changed I also changed my last name as well, taking my mother's maiden name as my last name. Frank's daughters knew I had never been married so the obvious question as to why my last name was different from my parents. We simply explained that there had been a large family feud and I changed my name as I wanted to move on from them. We told them we later reconciled but by then I had been using my then last name in business so I just kept it.

[Heather W]

So far I have been able to keep the two halves separate. Well OK maybe Heather's share is more than half. I seem to know when I can have my Heather time ad when it is time to put the male façade on. But I can understand how easy I would be to slip up. I fond myself the other morning getting in the car to go to work and for some reason I sat in the seat and swung my legs in. Problem is was in drab, hope no one noticed!

[ArleneMcCarthy]

I'm "Arlene" 100% of the time. I do not answer to my male moniker.

[Trudy]

I'm "Arlene" 100% of the time. I do not answer to my male moniker.

I know how you feel Arlene! Although I am not legally Trudy it is been so long since anyone has called me by my male name I doubt I would answer to it. All I can say ad very proudly is I am Trudy!