Unannounced visitor...me in a dress.

[Anne Bonny]

Wow sitting here in my dress and ding dong, ding dong, ding dong...and me with no clothing to change into over here my bedroom being across on the other side of the livingroom...I had to dodge into the bathroom (back part of the office...really a guest bedroom) vulnerable to being seen doing so even back over here through the office room door from the front door windows a clear line of sight through cupped hands. I stripped off the dress, bra, inserts peaked out and could see a woman with a pony tail from church who persists on bringing unwanted "church food" (probably YUCK left over Easter food from church handled and coughed over by many different people - always turns my stomach and those calorie laden left overs are usually yuck o even at church when freshly laid out. And to top it all off I have not set foot in that church or any church at all since I believe December of 2012!...Anyway here I was reading glasses, panties and tennis shoes crawling quickly across the living room on all 4's hands and feet because the thought was though she had gone back to the car it may have been to get the food...by the time I had changed just about 30 seconds and went to the door no car in sight! So I put my dress back on. Why didn't I just answer the door in my dress and say Oh Hi! Now that would have rid me of all the people coming over from the church frequently un announced! Pet Peve of mine! But no...If it had been the Hospice Nurse or the Social worker or the hospice chaplain all of who know well unannounced they would be asking for it...but why think that way? were I in guy shorts and t shirt there would be no such thoughts is my dress any different? NO! Suppose I would have had no problem greeting them fully dressed, well...not fully, no make up or jewelry except the gold anchor I always wear. Isn't it all just so stupid!? I should have answered the door to a very shocked and stunned church acquaintance who would have been left stuttering her goodbyes in her amazed, confused revulsion and shock which would quickly be spread to anyone who mattered at the church meaning I would never see any of them ever again and would certainly never be welcomed there ever again at that church a conservative Presbyterian PCA Church, not that at this point I ever intend to return there but you never say never to anything though I seriously doubt it I believe I am a confirmed agnostic and have always really been one. I am not against those of faith or atheists but I am not in either camp.

CT a female friend...
10:56am

OMGoodness G.... You're right maybe you should have just answered the door.... maybe it would have shocked her enough to never go to ANYONE'S house before calling again.... That horrible
Me
10:59am

Well, I am not a child. this is who I am, have always been, it makes me angry or incensed more than anything else...I mean why not answer the door...for anyone showing up unannounced...If I knocked on their door would they go through what I just went through? NO. You know there is a chance with her peeking in the front door window that she did see me? If so...then good riddens! I don't care really, I should have the freedom to be who I am especially in my own fricken home and unannounced - how rude! and if people want to reject me well screw them!! I actually hope she saw a person in a dress moving quickly to the bathroom.
me
10:59am

Or saw it was me.


I am coming very close to just outing myself - why not I have the confidence in myself. Clothing is clothing I have a right to wear whatever I wish, make up and jewelry if I want to anyway. I am tired of hiding it all. All that really holds me back are issues of safety for my person, and un considered consequences there will always be those things we have never thought of. Wearing a dress is not a perversion it is a mood or fashion choice!!! Sometimes I like wearing a dress and feel feminine so what!?

I will just have to find the right woman, so many are just repulsed but it is just clothing. Everything else is just the same and any partner should fully expect to be on top half the time as turn about is fair play. I may be able to find that special strong, confident woman someday...

I mean so many assume there has to be something homo about all of this - nope makes me cringe - E-yah! Ew! shiver!! No yuck!! Women only for me please. I am submissive sometimes when I am feeling feminine but the rest of the time I can dive into bed on top!!! Literally!

I feel the need to clarify it is just clothing otherwise I am rather conventional really.

[Davita]

I don't answer doors I don't feel like any more than I answer phones. I can make up an excuse to not answer doors and the two simpliest are: I was in the shower or I was sleeping. The only unanswered door that could get me in trouble decades ago was my parents who would then let themselves in thinking no one was home.

So I at least peeked before blowing off anyone at the door.

[Ralitsa]

I think I agree with the position of not bothering to change or worry about the other persons reaction, and answer the door dressed any way you please. Unless you didn't want to talk to them, and then don't answer the door and don't worry about it. I wouldn't go through the trouble of offering an excuse; "I don't want to talk to you" is a perfectly acceptable reason as far as I'm concerned.

[Kelly]

What a person does in her own house is her business and nobody else's. You are doing nothing wrong and it is especially not wrong in the privacy of your own home.

Having said all of that I totally understand your reaction and in the same circumstance would have reacted in a similar way. Given the social mores of our times and the way gossip circulates through a church you would be crossing the Rubicon if you answered the door all femmed up.

You would find out who your real friends are. Yes, you would probably never see unwelcome Sunday leftovers again; but you probably would also never see again community support (which you may or may not be aware of) that is of value.

Community is important it is the integral to how humanity has survived. Unfortunately, community is far from perfect and often appears to be a major pain. But somehow we are wired to try to preserved it. That wiring, explains you're reaction. Totally understandable.

Kelly.

[Requal Jo]

I can understand your dilemma Anne as I to have been caught out dressed when people have arrived unannounced.

A quick run to the spare bedroom to strip off the outer layer and hide undergarments with the dreaded outer male drab.

If only we could be accepted!!! After all we are just normal persons who enjoy the comfort of female apparel.

[Anne Bonny]

Yeah...no need to answer, she was unannounced, I did not want any food I mean I am not struggling to get by and I eat so that I can maintain my weight near 167 lbs. The un thought of consequences here would have been that my dressing in feminine clothing - definitely seen as perversion and homosexuality, and sexual confusion etc by the small minded would definitely have circulated to the minister and from thence to my wife's brother who is a PCA minister in Arkansas and from thence to her knuckle dragging bible thumping hick relatives in Alabama. In talking with one of the female cousins who knows and who keeps my confidence and who is supportive she thought it best to wait until my wife passes eventually, then that entire group of people will wither on the vine as they were inlaws, except for my sons who have blood ties to that side of the family but who also do not care about them or seek to maintain much contact at all with them.

Yeah in this case not answering, as it turned out about a week later she came back and stated I came by but the house was dark...I stated truthfully that when my wife is resting in bed I feel safe going for a run, or to get groceries as these do not take very long...30 minutes to an hour. So in the end it all worked out fine and now I know just sit tight and don't answer unless it is someone I would feel comfortable inviting in like our sitter or the social worker or chaplan (hospice) or even Pat's nurse who though she has never seen me in female attire, knows - but they all usually call in advance and changing or not knowing that is my personal decision at that point.