My first time

Julie M. · Post by **Julie M.** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:45 pm

I wanted the pink blanket like my sister. I was still in diapers. Actually I can't remember how young I was. It seemed I always have been dressing up.

The name evolution is more interesting. Back when "Bosom Buddies" was on TV my wife nicknamed me Buffy (I had no idea she would become a vampire slayer). Later I wanted a more authentic name so I just picked Leslie out of a hat. The name just didn't seem right then when I really thought about it I realized I liked Julie best. Marie is a middle name that has been in the family for generations. So I became Julie Marie.

Now I find myself saying, "Julie Marie, what were you thinking?", to myself of course. I find that when I refer to myself as Julie I tend to take things lighter than I would as Jim (my born name).

BTW, the avitar is brand new. I had the day off today and took the day dressing up and taking photos of myself. Today is birthday #53!. How time flies!

It has been quite a long time since I have CD'd and today was absolutely fabulous! Having to dress back in boy clothes sucked though. Although I still am dressed in girl stuff from the waist down!

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 10:13 pm

Hi Julie,
Very pretty girl, photogenic I'd say!! Interesting that you call yourself by your chosen name - me too! I do it without thinking any more - especially when I am in a "female situation." I find myself asking, "Deborah, what are you doing, girl?" It's great as she seems to have her own ideas and the attempt to merge our two "personalities" is exciting.
We look forward to hearing more from you.
Love,
Deborah

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 10:32 pm

Hi Julie,

That was very interesting about choosing your name.

The youngest we have on the forum for remembering the early days of CD'ing are 4 years old. If you remember in diapers that would be a record for sure!

So? Why the long break from dressing? Was there a reason? There doesn't have to be. I think most of us around here know that all to well.

It was another Julie here who posted something that snapped me out of a dressing spell.

I'm glad you're with us.

Beauty

Julie M. · Post by **Julie M.** » Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:16 pm

The long dry spell was due mostly to two factors. One, the kids were getting older and it was harder getting out of the house on meeting nights while dressed. I did the motel thing for a while, you know, rent a motel room just so you have a place to change, but it just seemed too much. So I stopped. CDing to me can be stored like a camel stores water. If I have a lot of very satisfying outings especially when I can pass, the urge seems satisfied for a while. Not that I enjoy it any less, it's just that I am not driven to the brink of insanity if I don't. That's how the dry spell started. After a while I think I had convinced myself it was best for the kids if I didn't. But things began to brew inside.

The second factor was from trying to find some way to satisfy the urges without dressing up. I eventually found HRT. That had a long lasting effect even though I quit after 5 months. I quit only because it was beginning to show and I knew I would never go the SRS route so why continue? So I let that carry me over for a while.

Another less effective means of satisfying these urges you can find on my website under "Fantasy Photos". It kept me occupied but it never brought about the genuine satisfaction of crossdressing. In September my youngest goes off to college. I have until then to get my wife again reaclimated to Julie. She's had 10 years of not much more than seeing Julie's dainties once in a while.

I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:33 pm

Hi Julie,

Thank you for explaining. I tried a testosterone blocker for several months. It was interesting, but I don't know if I'll ever do that again because it caused my libido to go into the middle of nowhere.

It's so weird how we're wired.

Thanks again!!!!

Beauty

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 7:24 am

Julie,
I am looking forward to your sharing more with us. I guess we all travel the same road but in different ways. Some of us hit the pot holes and some can avoid them and some, we all hit, but we keep going. I keep finding more information about (as Beauty - said, the way we are wired). I can only hope you are enjoying your "Magical Mystery Tour" as much as I am.
Love,
Deborah

Julie M. · Post by **Julie M.** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:33 am

Beauty wrote:Hi Julie,

Thank you for explaining. I tried a testosterone blocker for several months. It was interesting, but I don't know if I'll ever do that again because it caused my libido to go into the middle of nowhere.

It's so weird how we're wired.

Thanks again!!!!

Beauty

Beauty,

When I did the HRT it was estradiol patches. I never lost my libido, in fact at first it seemed to increase. Sex was actually better while I was on it, I'm sure in part due to the mental aspect of it. I felt like my two sides had finally joined. But reality entered when my daughter made a comment that indicated she had noticed my boobs were growing. Isn't it funny how easily we can fool ourselves?

Julie

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:30 pm

Hi there,

Yes. Estrogen won't hurt your libido.

I blocked testosterone, which does lower the libido significantly.

Thanks for the info!

LOL.. yes it is funny how we can fool ourselves.

Beauty