Trip to Malaysia

[Audrey]

Putting on mums Nylons as a child, wearing my sisters one piece bathing suit, and Shaving my legs from the age of 12 were the seeds that were planted that finds me start cross dressing 35 years later. During the younger years of being a teenager, i only ever shaved my legs and never ventured in to my mums or sisters closet. During my marriage, i did once venture into A dress of my Wife's and thought.. 'nah whats this'..Well my love for smooth legs, nylons and painted red toenails was the order of the day for many years and that all that interested me..
July 2014 i was heading overseas for work and had 3 days in KL..Prior to leaving i thought i would like to try and transform into a complete girl and see what it felt and what i would look like .. I bought everything to make this Special ! ENOUGH said ! A frightening addiction that is stronger than most drugs! The arrival of Audrey and my feminine side was born.. I have a very addictive nature and once im bitten by something its guns blazing ! A new wardrobe and make up was slowly building, youtube tutorials, more style etc etc..the journey is moving, but the bridge i needed to cross was to tell the MRS..It was tough, her reaction to me being feminine was evident over the years which she didn't mind. Once when she was doing her toes, i got her to do mine.. she was cool and laughed at it..but i thought if you only knew.
When i sat her down and explained about what i did ( even made her a video ) she was so accepting of it that it shocked me.. BUT as soon as i came out all dressed to the 9s and she saw me as Audrey, it frightened her ! she could not believe how good i looked as a women. She said i looked better than her and that scared her..
So for now, she knows whats going on but she doesn't like it.. Over the last 6 months my feminine side has really developed, I spend more time now as Gender Fluid ( mix as a guy and girl )...its another way of touching my feminine side daily ! Highly recommend it ..
I have been strong enough over the last 6 months to venture out as Audrey, I feel that not many people pay that much attention when you are completely enfemme.. I have opened up to shop stores that i am comfortable with and try on dresses and shoes and even get makeup bars to try new foundation and makeup..
The highlight for me is having a Makeup Professional do your make up and learn from them on how to apply..
I still love being a Guy and that will never change and would not like to Transition or anything like that..but i have found a real balance in crossing into Audrey in many ways !
Audrey

[Paulette]

Goodness, Audrey!

You seem to have come a great and long way on your path already. Congratulations! Few of us here have gone that distance.

I'm particularly amazed that your wife was so accepting, so quickly. I would have thought a video would have scared her to pieces, but evidently not. You are lucky, and I hope it continues to go so well for you both. I hope you realize how lucky you are.

Several things you should consider: your wife's concern that you look better than she does is not a small thing. Try not to out-do her. Try very hard! It's important, and will be even more important if Audrey goes out in public with her.

Also, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for trans/cds marriages is the impact on their spouses own self-concept. "What does this say about me?" And especially, what does it say that I never thought about but secretly feared? It is very challenging to find your self-concept -- who you think you are -- so thoroughly shaken. You've had many years to explore this about yourself. your wife hasn't, and it will take a while for this to settle out in her mind. She may adjust nicely -- she may not adjust at all.

Be kind. Be gentle. Be her girlfriend. But be her guy, too. That's who she married and who she loved first. Don't take that away from her.

[Audrey]

Hi Paulette, thank-you so much for those wise, and in-sighted words..I will endeavour to be her Kind, Gentle,Husband, Boyfriend, Girlfriend.. I have been very cautious not to over burden her.. Hence my time as Audrey is alone in the home for now and a matter of feeding her in small steps..



*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[DonnaT]

Audrey time at home and alone can likely get pretty old pretty fast.

With my wife, I don't wear the wig and makeup at home, and she's able to handle it better.

[Requal Jo]

Thanks for sharing Audrey. It sounds as if you are having an enjoyable and pleasurable time.