I discovered the finer things at an early age (silky soft panties, bras, pantyhose, stockings and sexy lingerie) and soon found that I very much enjoyed the feeling of wearing these feminine items whenever the opportunity would present itself.
As I got older, the feeling seemed to have buried itself somewhere deep inside, though it never quite left. I guess it was mostly guilt or shame; feeling that this was somehow wrong. At this time, I was making a lot of friends and doing typical "boy" things. Hanging out with friends, going to school bike riding, video games, sports and music... more than anything else, I was very much into the music! This of course meant no time for wearing women's underwear, LOL!!!. Besides... that wasn't normal. And what if I was caught!?!?!
Fast forward a few years later during a trip to visit my aunt and uncle... My cousin was away at the time, so I was using her room. She was a couple years older than I, and had the typical girl's room. Walls painted lavender, floral bedding, makeup and perfume perfectly displayed on her white dresser. It was like heaven!!! To say that the feelings I had been suppressing all this time had come rushing back would be a complete understatement! I knew it was wrong... but I couldn't help but snoop through her drawers and fall in love with the pretty, pretty clothes.
I soon rediscovered my love for women's clothing. When I had my first girlfriend, I found myself trying on her things. She never found out, and I had never told her or anyone else about my secret. We broke up after a couple of years. Again, my focus was on friends: going out, going to school, I was no longer into sports, but still very much into music and working part time to support these activities. It would be almost 6 years later after a few relationships, moving out on my own, finishing school and getting a real job that I had the perfect opportunity to find my true self.
Though I didn't know much about clothing, sizing, fit or wear at the time, over the years my understanding has become deeper. In the last 15 years or so, this has fully blossomed and I can now accept who I am - though I am afraid those closest to me would not. On a couple of occasions, I have tried telling my SO - but that is another story for another time and for the time being, I'll remain closeted. Maybe with time and patience, I can be more open and honest about it... Joining this board is just another step towards that ultimate goal!
, all the best, enjoy yourself, you only live once so be happy and explore and everything will work out. tc nicole 
