How would you react if your SO decided to crossdress?

[Julie M.]

I had to think hard about this one, trying to actually picture my wife dressed as a man. I imagined her going to the same effort to look like a man as I do to look like a woman, padding and all.

Since I am a CD I suppose my opinion might not reflect the same opinion as non-CDer but here goes. I know I would get into it much more if I were dressed too.

But if I had no desire to CD I would probably think 'Why?' Since I love her dearly I would make every effort to understand. If it were a sexual thrill for her then by all means, do it! But that is a man's point of view. I guess I would go along and see just how far it goes. Once that was determined I would have to reevaluate my feelings.

I've tried to put the shoe on the other foot many times but it's really tough to answer that because I would always see her doing that as a green light for me to CD.

Poll added 5/2/04. I just thought I'd throw a monkey wrench into this.

[Loretta Ann]

I don't think I would have much of a problem with that. It might be nice if part of the package included her treating me like a lady. I think I could have some fun with that.

I can't give you any other answer, because I am a CDer and find it difficult to see things from any other prospective, and don't I could give you an intelligent response.

[Celia]

As I have no SO, I think I'd be overjoyed.

-Celia

[Beauty]

On the urnotalone.com site I call myself a trans-lesbian so I'd have to say I'd be upset, but I'd learn to live with it if it's what she wanted.

Beauty

[Laura]

Hi Beauty,

That reminds of the cowboy-lesbian joke, which you may have heard, but I'll post it anyway because I love it--

Love,
Laura

 
The Cowboy and the Lesbian
30-X-2000

An old cowboy, dressed in a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar, sat down, and ordered a drink.

As he was sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

To which he replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, and mending fences, so I reckon I am."

After a short while, he asked her what she was.

She replied, "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV. Everything seems to make me think of women."

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.

A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

To which he replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.
 
 

[Josey]

Hi Y'all,

First, let me thank Laura for the fine joke. I needed a good laugh this morning.

As for having my SO tell me she was a CD, I had often thought about that trying to put myself in her shoes. I came up with two answers.

First, as a CD myself, I would probably be taken back a little but would be understanding. It might even result in some fun times.

Now, if I were not a CD, my feeling would probably echo those of many SO's who post here. If we were into a realtionship for a while, I would want to know why she hadn't trusted me to tell me sooner. I would want to know if this meant I had done something wrong in our relationship. Did she want to change into a man? Was she gay?

I must admit that these questions and probably a bunch more sure sound familiar. In the long run, it probably wouldn't change my feelings for her but there would be a lot of adjustment.

It is amazing how my feelings are similar to those of the SO's. This was a good exercise. It made me think a little more like they do and understand their feelings more. Thanks.

[Julie M.]

I just threw a monkey wrench into this subject. Now let's see it the messages posted reflect the votes cast.

[Beauty]

Hi Julie,

I was close to voting, "Sure I'll give it a try" but the "I guess" part makes it look like I'm just accepting it and not giving her the support she needs.

I also like the Sweetheart it's music to my ears, but it wouldn't be music to my ears. I would want to ask her if she wanted me to help her to dress though.

So my answer would be a combination of the two. "Sure, I'll give it a try. Would you like me to help you dress?"

Great idea for the poll !!!

Beauty

[Erica Shade]

I really wouldn't like it that much, but I would have to be fair. I love all aspects of femininity, and to see my wife deviate from her feminine beauty would be hard. Thoughts of a beard on my wife, were a bit unsettling, but if she truly feel this way, I would support her. I would ask, however, that we both had CD time and non-CD time, so that we both could explore our CD sides and also keep the non-CD aspects which initially attracted us to each other. It's all about compromise.

Nuff Luv,

Erica Shade

[Love (SO)]

Hi Erica,

I appreciate for your honest answer. I do agree, and I think that most CD's who are attracted to women only,wouldn't be thrilled with the idea of discovering their SO's (of many years together) wanting/needing to "look and act" like a man.
I actually think that (in most cases) it may be harder for a CD to accept and see his SO dressed and acting like a "man", than a non-CD

Infact, I gave up wearing my "very" feminine things for about a month (not too long ago), and I think it was harder for my husband to get used to than me. I didn't dress as a "man", I just dressed "neutral", "comfortable" [teeshirts & jeans (women's of course)] not my usual frilly self.


I feel the same way about my husband, if I wanted to be in a relationship with someone who "looked and acted" like a women, I would have sought one out. But I am attracted to men, I am attracted to my husbands masculine side (I don't mean macho, there is a big difference)


I have had this same discussion with my husband, since he was/is very attracted to my femininity (I very much enjoy being and feeling like the woman that I am), I have always worn skirts, heels, make-up, etc. but I am so much more than just all of those superficial things, I am a woman, a lady, that is all I know how to be, I could never try to be something other, I really wouldn't want to either, I love being who I am, and being treated as the lady that I am.


Love (SO)

[Virginia]

All right LOVE you rule LADY!!
I voted in the pole, but.... althought I can dress and pass - ain't no way my wife could! She is beautiful, 38 - 22- 36 and her feminine features would just shine through!!! Now if she just wanted to stay home and dress "en drab" as we say - that would be interesting to see, but to go out dressed "en male" nope! ain't no way!!!
Love,
Deborah

[SharonRose]

This is an interesting topic. It sure does put the shoe on the other foot

I voted that it was fine as long as I get to dress as a woman. It seems only fair to me.

However, I would probably be a little bit uncomfortable if my SO wanted to dress as a man in public. Reminds me of that scene in 9 1/2 weeks with Mickey Rourke and Kim Bassinger where Kim dresses as a guy.

This certainly gives us some perspective about what our SO's go through every day they are with us.

Sharon

[Gaven McLaren]

After thinking about it I had to go with one that said sure lets give it a try. I thought about it and I would have to say that other wise be a hipocrite which I hate.