I'd like to respond to a few reply's without doing the 'quote' feature as it's getting late and I don't have the patience right now.
Ralitsa was in Saudi Arabia as a female? You could have been killed! I'd never go there, even if work required it.
Nicci, accessories and attitude do make a difference. But I'll have to warn you that the preconception of CD's being gay is prevalent. Notes on your car are for a hook up.
Carol Ann, some women should never go braless, unless at home. It sure does feel good though. A CD has to wear a bra, him as her dresses in early mornings when the temp is cooler.
Anne Bonny wrote:I am beginning to think passing is not really all that important in this day and age "
Which raises some interesting questions in and of its own right.
It comes to mind. . WHO are the people that are likely to notice, generally speaking? Is there a certain percentage of the population that actively searches for crossdressed or "miss-dressed people?" Other than say packs of roving juvenile girls . . . Is there a subset of people, other crossdressers, spouces of crossdressers, family members etc, who would have a higher proclivity to notice and do so in an appriciative and non threatning way?
I would fit in that group. I always look for such cues. I notice their facial expressions. . are they at ease, or nervous. . . looking at, and engaging people or avoiding them as if due to fear? There have been a few times I started to offer a compliment or neutral comment, but elected not to.
What is the percentage in normal populations that would be openly hostile and antiginostic towards (mostly) male crossdressers. (I say crossdressers, but transgender or gay would also be targets of such people.
I would guess 95% of people day to day, do not notice and are not looking. 5% maybe are of a mindset that WOULD notice. .
I've never encountered a hostile person with my overt underdressing, or looking at womens shoes, lingerie etc. . BUT then I certainly don't go to places where such openly hostile persons would be either. .
SECOND QUESTION THAT COMES TO MIND. . .
With the changing mores of societal norm for male and female dressing. . I wonder if over time, the need or desire to crossdress would not disappear. Most of us started crossdressing becasue the act of dawning (typically women's clothing) was novel and different in some way to wearing mens or boys clothing.
In essence, if all clothing becomes accecptable to wear (A long ways away for sure), why would any articles of clothing carry any novelty in the future. . .
Who looks who see,s something that is different most people do that is normal from kids to grown ups ,
I know this is about men in womens clothing yet is that all, no not really , and I prove this so many times in fact every day I go out down the street and talk with many I know and others I don't very few will not say hi men or women ,
I dress different any way just part of who I am though sometimes I could be said to blend in funny that , of cause that will be cause its very cold or wet so I rug up any way apart from that people will look at me that's a given my friends will look for me and some have seen me though I missed them or was to far away to call out to me,
My style of clothes just my normal day to day wear most any way are pretty much jean type skirts tops blouse,s or tee,s or jumper,s in the main , now strangers or people passing through will look at me
because not of what I wear so much though I am checked out to see what other women are wearing ,
that's not it , my facial features are what people look hard at and that's my fail point no matter my clothes that is not what its about so reguardless, its a position of my life I cant change, and I cant be bothered doing the makeup as that's 100 % fail and wigs not doing that again ,
My only excape is I face people head on look them in the eyes say hi and other comments as needed and walk on by, in a school setting with 400 people at concert people right next to me while I play with members of our Band or Orchestra I dress well black long skirt and white ruffled in front blouse and white head wear and when people see that they know who I am , so my head wear is my mark of difference ,and accepted, so no matter where I go .
Who care,s oh...... you,d be very surprised and do they really,,,,,YES,,,,,,and not in a way of some people think comments are where did you buy that , oh how lovely , I really like .love that or WOW that's just so lovely to I wont one just like that, these are clothes I design make and sew, so there you go,
I see two details 1, you accept your self for who you are and get on with life and live it you get accepted and pull no punch,es
2 , you give up go hide some place and don't live life and be a miserable cow in some cattle shed by your self, bemoaning the fact of what a bl...dy life you have
Its about face the music whats the worst to happen you get rejected as could be my case I don't look right a bloody female whos too masculine looking = face, do I give up , the worst for myself is I should never have been born , the worst was I was almost murdered so close its not funny and other killed .
So is life really worth the 5 min hassle I can look back 69 years has it been worth my just carry on , yes im one stroppy female who,s very strong minded and can take the fat hits the fan.....yet you know I have weak points I contend with struggle through and know I fail, some,s time you wont to pack it in.
So trust me though im a female its not allway,s easy ,life has its very tough side , yet why should I give up why would I, we Jos and I have a very large family 20 of us I have lovely friends and a passion for my music with our members to keep sane to live life to the fullest, I see it as very worth while.
Pam T. wrote:I get second looks once in awhile but for the most part I am very passable when I dress but sometimes I will get those looks but I think for the most part nobody even cares.
I think most people are lost in their own daily lives. Reading as a CDer may for oh 9/10 of the public be a curiosity and for many a fascinating, cute, thought provoking and dare I say for many men an envious curiosity. Yes a few knuckle dragging, low brows will be out there but for most, be they women or men, we will just be another person and again if read, a mere curiosity. Even those who may in silence or out loud cluck tongues and hold us in low repute 1-2-3 minutes later they are on with other things in their mind/life.
If we go about our business as if we deserve to be there, act respectful and not go looking for a problem we will probably not have any issues. Those who may laugh or say something usually STUPID or IGNORANT can't make us feel offended, hurt or sad. Only we control our feelings. IT'S HARD TO DO SUCH AT TIMES THOUGH! People want to fit in and that includes us CDers.
IMO the biggest issue especially if you are say of an older above age 35 demographic is YEARS of our social indoctrination about being MALE and FEMALE. If you where not 100% in either, you were often and not always by people trying to be openly cruel to you, made to feel that you were ILL. Gender was very black and white for most of us. The explosion of the internet and W.W. communications and resources over the last 20 years has made educating especially those under age 30 about CD'ing much more dynamic and intellectual about how we are JUST REALLY REGULAR PEOPLE!
For me it has been a love and a cross to bear in my life, because I'm not of the under 35 demographic. Though I have not been so out and as such I have shielded myself SADLY by being more secretive from hurt of many others in my and the older demographic who may or would often easily equate me and my CDing to just being a SICK PERVERT, FAGGOT, QUEER, HOMO. This fear with our more sexually conservative upbringing is what keeps many of us in secret. I hate it for myself. Our families and friends being often of a similar demographic are in that mindset of upbringing. Yes again only we choose to be offended, hurt or saddened by other persons comments and rejection. But being human we crave acceptance and love. It makes balancing our CDing and our regular life a tight rope. WELL FOR ME ANYWAYS!
I feel under 30 age group are most OK with CDing as they have been educated differently. Oh don't get me wrong they and all people can be cruel and not just to us CDers. BULLYING today by many young people for numerous social reasons exists but they appear to be more ok with LGBT stuff. Youtube crossdressing and you will get hundreds of CDing slide shows and most are of usually very cute, under 35-30 yr. old CDers with there photos in slideshows. Less of CDers over 35 as we probably keep it more to ourselves. I do see older CDers say over 60 not give much a damn anymore though. I feel it's the slush box of us between 30-60 who have the hardest time being OUT and OPEN! I know it has been for me. Though I'm trying to retrain my mind to not give as much a damn. But usually be it real or perceived between 30-60 we have the most to lose by being more out. Happily I do feel online at places like this and in life things like CDing and TG community will get better for more or all of us.
My fears are MY CROSS TO BEAR, but talking here helps me square that circle.
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand
I was surprised when I was "sired" in Walmart the other day by a male S/A. I was dressed casual thinking I wouldn't attract any attention. photo in my gallery. It is a rareity that I get clocked.
People want to fit in and that includes us CDers.
