Ramblings - clothing evolution, power and femininity

[Julie M.]

It’s been said many times that the evolution that has taken place in women's clothing is mostly due to women entering the workplace. But there is another underlying factor that society looks at when a person dresses, power. If you are doing something that will make you stronger or more powerful (in any sense) and you dress to appear that way (women's business suits) then you are perceived positively. You doing what we are all encouraged to do, become stronger.

Men are strong. Women are weak. That's pretty much how I was raised. You should aspire to become stronger in every aspect, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Every accomplishment you achieve should be geared towards becoming stronger. Men see woman as disadvantaged in that they are physically weaker and therefore take on the role of protector. After all, it’s not there fault. God made them that way so it’s our job to be their knight in shining armor. So why in the world would any boy or man ever want to undo all that he has worked for and emulate the weaker sex? It’s contrary to everything our society stands for.

Growing up in a boy’s world some of the worst names you could be called had to do with being like a girl. In a real man’s world acting like a girl is out of the question. It’s just unheard of. You’re not a real man if you do. Anything that represents femininity is taboo. Silk and lace? No way! Flowers? Not this guy! Pink? Worst color there is! In a real man’s world we stay clear of that kind of stuff. Women can just keep it to themselves but don’t bring it near me! John Wayne! Now there’s someone to emulate!

When a man dresses like a woman, it’s going against the flow of society. While everyone else is working to better themselves (strengthen themselves) you are making yourself weaker. What kind of person would do that they ask? Either he’s gay or he’s just a weakling. The Manly Men’s Society will ostracize you if they don’t beat the crap out of you first.

There’s an enormous amount of pressure to act like a man, think like a man, walk like a man, talk like a man – to be a man. You’ve probably heard the phrase a thousand times. Be a man. I don’t I think I’ve ever heard anyone say to a woman, “Be a woman”. I have heard ‘act like a woman’ though, but not nearly as often. ‘Be a man’ conjures up images of strength and power, fearlessness and bravery, nobility and honor. All things society admires. What traits that are associated only to women does society admire? While I can quickly come up with many for men I find myself struggling to answer that.

Today’s women are being encouraged to be more like men. Femininity is losing ground. But there are some of us to whom femininity is a very admirable trait. Some women just don’t know much about the art of femininity. And it is indeed an art, for when properly applied the end result is something of unsurpassed beauty. Not just physically but internally too. It’s appearance, stature and attitude. It encompasses beauty, grace, poise, kindness and gentleness all within a delicate persona. We think of angels as being feminine and give them all the characteristics of femininity. Does that mean femininity is godlike? Maybe. What I do know is it is something I thoroughly enjoy being immersed in, whether it’s being with a woman who exudes it or becoming one with it through crossdressing. It’s like an aphrodisiac. It’s magical and glorious. It’s exciting and comforting. It holds a very special place in my life and I could never imagine being without it.

This may be why there’s such a strong attraction to crossdressing. How femininity is perceived may directly influence one’s desires. If you can’t get enough of it externally then create it within yourself. You become one with it.

This appreciation for femininity is only acceptable if it is fulfilled through exterior means, that by being with a woman who exudes it. That of course depends if you can find that person and if she wants to be with you. But I find it such that I want to experience more than what can be experienced through someone else. I want to personally delve into femininity and explore all its wonderment first hand. I am that fascinated by it. I am not changing my personality, I am just adding to life’s experiences. And I can live with that even if John Wayne doesn’t approve.

[Beauty]

Hi Julie,

About the picture.

I was raised in the Sesame Street generation. I was AMAZED when I grew up that women were thought, by the weak minded, as the "weaker" sex. Kind of funny being how WRONG it is.

As I've grown up I haven't seen the discrimination in my age bracket that those have seen before me. There is some, I'm sure, but the thoughts of women being weaker are just funny/pre-historic.

In sports that's still the case, but it's based on bulk, not brains.

I do agree with you about women entering the workforce has changed the styles of women's clothing. That's an excellent point!

I don't know if feminity is losing ground. I don't see that at all.

I do agree that femininity is worn by a woman or CD'r who excudes it.

Lastly, you're right. There's no way the Duke would approve.

Great post Julie!

Beauty

[Josey]

Julie,

That was some thought provoking post. Wow! I read it twice and loved it more the second time then the first.

As for the weaker sex theory, I am old enough to have seen that change. Most of that did evolve around WWII and after. People in my mother's generation were taught that they should get an education because it would make them better mothers and wives. Very few of them felt that a college education would make them competitive in a man's world.
Then, WWII came and women felt the life of the workplace. They realized they were a lot stronger than they had been taught. They started teaching their daughters to compete. Most of the girls I grew up with were getting that type of indoctrination. They were being taught to move into a man's world but still not strive to be equals. They, in turn, taught their daughters to go for equality and do whatever was necessary to achieve it. If it meant dressing in attire that resembled the man's business suit, then do it. If it meant learning to play golf or whatever, do it. Be agressive.

That pretty well brings it from the thirties to the 21st century. Today, I see a change in the board room. Many high ranking women find it no longer necessary to dress like a man to succeed. I have been in some pretty high corporate meetings with female VP's and CEO's who dressed very feminine and looked wonderful. Funny, but their power didn't change. It is an interesting evolution. Actually, I like it.

[Anita]

Hi Julie--
I like that post a lot. It brought up some good points, and here's what comes up for me.

First point is: I also found that I wanted to experience more femininity than I could get through someone else. This was really apparent to me when my last partner was all I'd ever dreamed of in a woman. That was great, for quite a while. But there came a time when that was not going to be enough.

Second point is: no one thinks it odd to want to be what you admire, as long as that admiration is for something that will gain you more power or more prestige. (We're talking about men, here.) If you admire something that will NOT bring these things, then you're not supposed to want to become that. You can admire it, but that's where it stops.

I grew up with the message that women were secondary to men. Things have gotten better as far as opportunities for women, but I haven't really seen a big change in the attitudes. Remember you questioning., "What traits that are associated with women does society admire?" And you were hard-pressed to think of any. But I do think that we admire qualities in women--it's just that we don't value them.

It's true that we admire strength and bravery, nobility and honor, and we associate these qualities with men. We not only admire them, but we value them enough to want to be them.

With women, we may admire their qualities, but we (as a society) DON'T value them. Think of motherhood. We say we admire a woman's devotion to her children. Maybe we do, but if we really valued it in the United States, we've have many levels of affordable child care, and we'd help subsidize it for poorer working women.

Or we say we admire the ability to nurture. And I think that we do admire it; we've all been comforted by a mother, a wife, or a female relative. We recognize it's not that easy to do.

Yet when push comes to shove, we know that nurturing is not going to help us defend our homes against a prowler, or stop a terrorist from exploding a bomb in our city streets. So again, we don't value it--we see it as a luxury, that woman can afford to practice. But someone's got to do the "real" work, and that gets us back to being brave, and relentless, and all of that.

I suddenly saw something else in what you said, too, Julie. Since CDing does not increase our power as men, or our prestige, then it's no wonder that the general public thinks that it must be sexually motivated. It's the only other strong drive that they can think of, when applied to men. I can see why there's so much confusion about all of this.
Anita