What kind of woman fit's who you are?

[Anne Bonny]

There are many many forthright, forceful, determined women out there who are ambitious, matter of fact and determined. No nonsense and yet their softer femininity is within and is there as well. I suppose my authentic self would be closely approximated in such women. They are not push overs, and some even carry and advocate concealed carry. Yeah, I think this kind of woman seems to fit fairly well if it were a coat to put on...Huh...

This kind of woman...well yeah does all the grooming, make up, nail polish, clothing etc...gee I think this kind of woman would fit me very well.

[Martha G]

I am basically a mature lady who thinks young.

I am very outgoing, courteous, friendly and attractive.

I would enjoy having more CD friends to go out with.

I love being a woman and enjoy my Martha time very much. Would like to have more of it.

[Anne Bonny]

Well then...be who you are...fire as the gender bears! Anne Bonny would say as she overtakes a merchant ship to put a nautical twist on it. Anne Bonny was a cross dressing female pirate.

I do not think of my age....advise you against it. Like yourself I am quite aware of the need to fight against the clock but I do not live there as my mind is ageless and has always been as it is. I fear you will find it a self fulfilling prophecy as those who are religious and negative seem to find age come over them and dying far too soon because they believe it is all inevitable an undeniable foregone conclusion. In not caring for their selves they do age too soon and die much sooner and could have lived a better life and much longer had they cared for their selves every day.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

From a females point of view,

I,m tough very up front and to the point and matter of fact.i have my head screwed on and know what I need and work towards that and if an issue gets in the way I ether walk over climb over or go round it ,

When I have staff work for me they know I,m the Boss I,m in charge and I take the flack if things go wrong or I,ll deal to it and sort it out ,I need my staff to be happy in their work so I have to look after them .

Yet I don't have to be ,,,The Bossy ,,,, type, I work with them , and just be part of whats going on,

Under neath that the what you see going on as others get to see me get to know me I,m soft caring loving and do any thing for others and no ? s asked.

I,m not stuck up or think I,m better than others I was trained well ,knew how to work with others and yes was put in charge of many situastions because of my experance and know how, and that covers a wide field, plus having gifts that I can use. its a privilege in its self and has helped myself in so many ways and been able to go places and see details that I would have missed had I not been the way I am,

Knowing your self and being your self and have the confidence in ...who ... you are as a person , that applys to both men and women, how you apply all this is there for all of us,

...noeleena...

[Amanda R]

What kind of the woman fits me? The one I am!

Unlike the beliefs of the past there is no reason a woman can't be self assured, possess leadership abilities, be driven to succeed, enjoy hunting and fishing, even advocate for the NRA, and all the other stereotypes previously only attributed to men yet still also possess the traits society associate with females. She can be all the above yet still be caring, giving, loving, and feminine. For anyone particularly someone in the TG community to believe otherwise is relegating half the population to being second class citizens.

[Stephanie M]

I am the girl that burps and tells dirty jokes with the guys.
I am the girl who gets dirty at work and it doesn't phase her.
I am the girl who at night likes to wear pretty things and feel feminine.

[Lacey Hadley]

As a girl, I am the type of girl who fees very feminine and has that sexy feeling. This though also makes me feel more confident as a person than I normally seem to be as a 'dude'. She has me confident as a person that I can happily feel more vulnerable as a girl. It's an odd feeling as I think most regular guys never feel such. As a guy I do not feel such a dichotomy of feelings. As Lacey I really enjoy such feelings.

I am not totally a girl who is 180 degrees opposite to my typical male persona, but she rounds out and compliments me as a person. Dressed as a girl I feel fun, cute, happy, feminine and lady-like. This side does ride in background when in drab and even though I as a guy am typical as a guy in most ways, I sense Lacey and the feminine side of who I am always there just behind me. Times I notice this is maybe watching t.v. or a movie or out in the world and life, I see attractive women. The 'dude' in me sees these women much like other guys do, but inside my head the girl in me sees their clothes, shoes, hair, make up, accessories etc. and think, "Hmm nice outfit." " Nice shoes." "Nice boots." "Cute hair" "Nice makeup" or "I love her earrings." etc. often then by me thinking of wanting to wear such or do myself up as such.


Dressed as a girl, I enjoy the femininity but how femininity softens me up as a person.

As a guy in regular daily life, I am ok with all the typical guy things I live with and do, but enjoy my feminine side just beneath the surface
of my male character.

[Heather W]

I like to think of myself as the girl next door. The one who likes to dress up and be girly yet in her downtimes she is in jeans or some other comfy clothes. She goes to work, goes to the store, says hi in the elevator, and takes out her garbage. She can be strong and lead when required to step up but still enjoys the beauty of the flowers planted by the door. She is the everyday woman you may see driving to work, pushing a cart through the grocery store, running in the park, or a couple of pews ahead of you at services on Sunday. That is the woman that fits me.

[Eileen (SO)]

My part time girlfriend is only slightly different from my guy. She drinks wine instead of beer, tries not to scratch certain places, and loves looking perfectly female. Not frills and lace, but a well dressed lady. At first, this was a big concern of mine, 'she' dressed prettier than I normally do. As if he had to dress as the woman if I didn't do so much. For a CD, loose fitting jeans and t-shirt like the wife wears won't satisfy the feminine urge. (I've been shamed into dressing up better and wearing skirts more often.)
His personality is much like hers, a bit more refined though. There was one 'girl' we met at some meetings that acted horribly. Other than mode of dress, she was just a rude guy. It really was embarrassing.
There is more than anatomy that makes men and women different.

Eileen

[Anne Bonny]

Yeah, funny how we are but this IS who we are. Yesterday I was on the masculine side of my gender, out and about, visited my son, grandson (5mo old old enough that when I took his feet between my index fingers and thumbs and shook them up and down while smiling and looking directly at him ...with his eyes open he began to look at me and smile too). Went for a mocha...finally got back home and pulled out a new dress I had purchased off the dressbarn site...a Westport paisley that can be worn off the shoulder and laid it on the bed along with a wide black belt with a silver buckle to see what the sitter thought, seems to need some ornamentation and she thought the belt went well with the dress because there is black in the pattern. I am today here wearing it relaxing on a quiet morning...father's day again this is just who I happen to be and am glad that I can look as good in this part of my gender as I do on the other side.

The differences I suppose are not really very big, our personality and our disposition really does not change much, I suppose there are different feelings and internals that do change and desires and needs which I suppose would closely match that of any women I happen to have around me, of I mean I am like other women when this side of myself comes over me, rolls over me, flows over into this part of who I am. Of course the difference is physically nothing really changes on the outside but why is that a big deal? Sex and sexuality are fixed it is only my gender that varies.

I suppose it can drive me crazy but accepting and acknowledging and finally relaxing it no longer does..it is just who I am.

I guess thing is...there are many men and women who are just like us we have a gender that varies...we are all people just like anybody else. Not everybody is like us but that is what makes the world a wonderful place to be if we were all exactly alike life would be horribly dry and boring monochromatic... Society is going to have to get over their objections come to a realization about it all and learn to just relax. Women have been dressing male and more masculine for a long time, no, not all women but some do... Who is hurt by a guy out and about in a lovely top and a skirt with some pretty sandals and yes even on a date!? Driving around in the town, In the grocery store...at work...at the pool...out shopping or at a restaurant or anywhere? Most men are cis gendered, but many exist who have a variable gender it is not a big deal society needs to get over it.

[Shelby]

Seeing some of the responses has prompted me to pose another question (I can start another thread if this is considered hi-jacking). Many of you have mentioned that your feminine personality is not all that different from your male persona. I fall into that same category; granted I have not gotten to the point of going out en femme or working on developing a feminine voice but, when I do dress at home I make every effort to look as feminine as I can. That being said, I am still "me".

If so many of us are essentially the same person whether en femme or drab why do so many of our significant others have such a problem with our desire to dress? Some go so far as to leave us. I am fortunate in that my wife embraces my feminine side and has often asked me why I didn't confide in her sooner (when I was younger and not as wrinkled......lol).

She has told me that, even when dressed, she doesn't see a different person; she knows it's me and that I am not any less of a man simply because I find enjoyment in wearing women's clothes and make-up.

Again, I apologize for slightly changing the subject but, after seeing some of the replies I just had to ask.

[Anne Bonny]

Hi Keay! I have no problem I have felt the same way many times, but sparking thought, perspectives and discussion is not a problem at all it's great!

I think my response just above yours answers some of your thoughts. Personality is a fixed thing we are who we are and we cannot change that. Moods and interests vary. Our character...for myself Honor is above all and a man who has no honor has nothing at all. Sexuality is fixed too. We cannot change our sex. What is different about people like us is our gender. Our gender varies and our perceptions can lead us to believe we are not binary, or whatever. I am gender fluid so my experience is my gender varies how and why exactly I cannot say ... but multiple factors conscious and unconscious tend to lead it to lean to my masculine side or to my feminine side and on occasion to an uncomfortable place balanced on the edge of a blade not knowing which way it is which drives me crazy. I am able to over ride as when going out in public...at this time I prefer not to swim against the current of society and subject myself to all the slings and arrows that would come my way in my head or not.

Again there are "internals" different feelings desires wants needs I experience inside when I happen to be a "woman," which I believe has me fitting in very well with women when this occurs, ...amazing.

Can't talk about changing my voice...my voice is what it is and I am opposed to adapting a vocal range 2-3 octaves higher...it is not difficult down load a guitar tuner and you raise you pitch to C and practice talking in a slightly elevated pitch without too much effort to find your "female voice" but that is an unnatural effort I am opposed to play acting which is what that is...of course for those who have had gender confirming surgery it is important and it takes them time until that higher octave is habitual for them because they are going to be women full time all the time for the remainder of their lives. They cannot change their genetics of course but they will spend the remainder of their lives with a body which outwardly is indistinguishable and is now in sync with the gender they were born with.

Though you did not mention this mannerisms...there are many men out there who were ...well they ooze femininity amazingly...they may not be feminine at all but their mannerisms and gesticulations are identical to that of women...I think this is still another example of variation in how people are, and frequently these men also speak with a quite natural feminine intonation with how they speak. We have all seen people like this...BUT! I am not like this! And I am not about to play act or to even try! Even if I were to make a concerted effort to try to adapt such mannerisms it would come across that I am being exceedlingly fake! We are not all like this. And there are many women who are not as effeminate either! To thine own self be true! That is my internal motto...so No voice or fake mannerisms in this gal! I go for my relaxed, and natural self! If any desire to "pass" I would infact advise them to be who they are ... if you are putting on a fake affectation people will sniff that out within seconds and will more likely reject you as a huge fake!


Dressing....well it does not take a concerted effort to do anything...one simply learns who they are and what style and clothes they prefer...fix your hair and make up depending and well, as for myself this morning here I am and I just go about my usual list of things to do. We soon learn what works for us and develop our own personal sense of style just as we do for our guy side.

I think problem is most in society are following an arbitrary convention which does fit most people and seems to be the way things are to them...and they are that way but all through human history many people fall outside of these arbitrary conventions. So most have no interest, are not interested in trying to understand and more over seek to penalize any who do not fit what they believe to be normal for everybody. And Many women...well most women want and expect that their man to be a "Man" as they are a "Woman" cis gender and traditional because that is all they are willing to accept as normal even though it is just an arbitrary convention ignoring thousands and thousands of people like us all through history for who the arbitrary conventions do not and have never fit. Fortunately there are many women who are very accepting and who are able to understand seems your wife is one of them, and mine was to a point, she is in the final stages of Alzheimer's unfortunately.

I am 60...I struggled and struggled until the age of 40 when I finally accepted that this is who I am even so it has taken me another 20 years to become as comfortable with myself as I am today. Can't worry about the past because you cannot go back you can only go forward from today and enjoy the rest of your life and be glad that you are finally able to enjoy being who you happen to be!

[Debbie Jean]

Nuns are women, and so are sluts.

I guess I would identify with the latter group, as my wife often says that I'm the male version of Big Carol, who is a woman in our neighborhood with a "reputation".

hugs,
Deb

[Lacey Hadley]

His personality is much like hers, a bit more refined though. There was one 'girl' we met at some meetings that acted horribly. Other than mode of dress, she was just a rude guy. It really was embarrassing.
There is more than anatomy that makes men and women different.

Eileen

Hi Eileen,

Your point about a 'girl' you and your wonderful sounding hubby and part time GF met may not be totally surprising. I feel crossdressers have a wide variety of reasons to crossdress and also how a cder may act may change with age, life's events and just timing. Some of us 'dudes' who put on girlie things may not have much an idea nor care to act like a girl or lady. Some cders are just guys in women's clothes either partially or fully dressed who are still the very same dudes as if they wearing regular guys clothes and who just enjoy the feeling of girlie things. There is no law against that even if their demeanor looks, well bothersome and like you and you part time GF hubby, we may feel odd being around such. Cders as these often just enjoy the clothes and not the mindset that may go with cding, again unless they are committing lewd acts we just have to accept such.

For me cding through my life has been a journey of fascination, fantasy, femininity, deportment and the 'taboo' of a guy putting on women's clothes. My mind has been all over the map to feeling good and excited of putting on certain women's clothes or stepping into women's shoes or boots that excite me especially in my teenage to early adult years, to then learning to find my femme self once I reached a more mature adult age of oh from the late 20's onward.

Though a sexual side of cding is there for me as much of my exploration with cding as a developing teenager was often sexual (but not always as I also enjoyed the teen girl, girlie feeling then too) it did take me step by step, day by day, through life's struggles and with cding a personal struggle of acceptance to moving more forward to not just the feeling of wearing women's clothes and the heightened arousal of such, but to again finding more of my femme persona. In fact there was no Lacey until I was about 34. My femme identity did not present herself as such, but was mostly some abstract vision/idea of a female wannabe or some sexual fantasy persona with often hard core sexual side with me wearing women's clothes.

Those years I kept my cding side and its sexuality away from my regular male side. I kept it inside my mind and life. Cding was exciting as it was still harder to do, to buy things and to not feel so taboo, toss in sexuality well for me like most cding males it was often quite sexual and not so refined as a lady, again Lacey did not yet present herself to me then.

Flash now to the early 2000's and the explosion of the internet and a more easy feelings as society liberalizes to this stuff. To more easily go to stores and shop for things or better yet shop online for a wider variety of women's items. Add all the online stuff from forums to websites and blogs on CD and TG issues. Well it was for me and I say most CDers/TGers like a veil being lifted.

For me expanding my female clothes wardrobe from a few feminine items to a much more wider array of things with an explosion dresses, skirts, blouses and of shoes and boots in my closet. But then buying my first wig was a special moment for me. I then had to then invest in cosmetics. I just did not want to be a dude in a skirt or dress with a wig on. I had to learn about and buy cosmetics. IT WAS VERY SCARY!!! Thanks to online reading I began to get very crude basics on cosmetics and I began to dress in full undergarments, hosiery, outerwear, shoes or boots, my wig and my first attempts at makeup. I then saw more of a lady in the reflection in a mirror. It was then I knew I had to find a persona and give her a name. For me I did not want a general feminized version of my male name. I wanted my new femme persona to be her own person. It took days, maybe a week or so to try out and find a name. It's not as easy as one may feel as I was moving from just dude who wears women's clothes to a person who is finding or has found his/her feminine persona.

Unlike a child at birth who is given a name and often said name helps shape that child's growth as a person. Think about it most people grow to reflect much of their name and how said name viewed. Ie: 'Rocky' a name like that often reveals a stronger, tough guy. 'Melanie' is pictured as a girl next door and most Melanie's are such IMO. 'John' is a dude's name that crosses a wide range of male persona. 'Roxanne' well yes there are ladies named Roxanne and can be girl next door but most Roxanne's are seen as more oh vibrant and even stronger as a female persona. So I played with feminine names and eventually Lacey fell into place. I feel if I was born a girl I would have based on how I was brought up and if brought up as a girl would have fit the name Lacey near perfectly.

BINGO! My feminine persona was set, now my cding side was not just a guy who wears women's clothes often for sexual reasons, though I still enjoy my sexual side even at times more so as I am now more girlie and sexy or to my mind tzzz hot. But Lacey is now the woman in me and I have for oh 15-16 odd years learned to love her. It has not always been easy as like most cding males I go through moods and suffer angst/animosity over my cding and I at times put Lacey away so speak. But when she comes back out, my love of being her often grows more itense. It's really quite an odd feeling for me.

Well anyways I look to be writing my version of War and Peace here so I will sum up. The girl you saw is one aspect of cding, most of us cding males if honest have been like her in some ways at times in our lives and matters not if it was as a 17 y/o, 25 y/o, 45 y/o or 65 y/o. It all often comes as part of the deal when we finally accept our cding and begin to learn to deal with it being a youngster, a young adult, a mid-lifer, or a more mature adult.

[Lacey Hadley]

Nuns are women, and so are sluts.

I guess I would identify with the latter group, as my wife often says that I'm the male version of Big Carol, who is a woman in our neighborhood with a "reputation".

hugs,
Deb

Deb,

I have a better point.

All ladies are women, but not all women are ladies.

I prefer women who are ladies, be they GG, CD or TG.