What kind of woman fit's who you are?

[Anthony Simon]

Many of you have mentioned that your feminine personality is not all that different from your male persona. I fall into that same category; granted I have not gotten to the point of going out en femme or working on developing a feminine voice but, when I do dress at home I make every effort to look as feminine as I can. That being said, I am still "me".

If so many of us are essentially the same person whether en femme or drab why do so many of our significant others have such a problem with our desire to dress?

I don't consider myself that masculine - somewhere more between man and woman than strictly a man. But, on the other hand, I do function relatively well as a man when required. The thing is as my life's gone on, it seems like I've gotten better at that. But, latterly, I've also found a distinctly woman side to my personality.

So, when I get dressed up now, I'm aware of being someone who feels essentially a woman. In a way, it's quite disconcerting, because it's so obvious to me that's what I'm becoming. And yet it feels quite natural and not at all forced. It's as if my female side is trying to balance up the advance in my male side by herself advancing.

I was buying a wig once and the SA asked if I was interested in men (i.e. sexually). I said, normally, not at all - but that, when I got dressed up "everything changes". And that's true. Everything does change when I get dressed up. Only, for the moment, it doesn't stick that well - I can fall back into being a man with ease, particularly when under pressure.

For the record, the SA made a point of saying, at the end of the conversation, that "there would be women who would be interested in someone like me" - and that question was always in the air while we were talking, so I guess that's why she said it. But the point is women are concerned about just what having a CD partner means for their sex life and whatever else.

[Debbie Jean]

Well Lacey, to each his (or her) own I guess. Live and let live, Love and let love.

Deb

[Lacey Hadley]

Well Lacey, to each his (or her) own I guess. Live and let live, Love and let love.

Deb

Hi Deb.

Oh don't get me wrong a tarty, slutty side can be an interesting form of expression and fantasy. As Lacey I have had wild 'cough cough' slutty or for me a better word tarty fantasy side. That side can heighten a form of playful escapism for me. As a dude I love sexy looking gals, who know how to express the power of their sexy femininity. I feel a lot of GG's today may fail to see the power of their femininity as a persuasive tool. Heterosexual and bisexual men love sexy, feminine women, and it's not sexist to feel that way as males. It's in our biology and women should feel their biology over too much p.c./feminist nonsense. The two sexes have been doing this more or less successfully for millennia.

As a cding male I love sexy and attractive women who know how to be and use such. I just happen to also love their clothes, shoes, makeup, hair, accessories and their mannerisms to wish import some into my feminine cding side.

[Eileen (SO)]

Your point about a 'girl' you and your wonderful sounding hubby and part time GF met may not be totally surprising. I feel crossdressers have a wide variety of reasons to crossdress and also how a cder may act may change with age, life's events and just timing. Some of us 'dudes' who put on girlie things may not have much an idea nor care to act like a girl or lady. Some cders are just guys in women's clothes either partially or fully dressed who are still the very same dudes as if they wearing regular guys clothes and who just enjoy the feeling of girlie things. There is no law against that even if their demeanor looks, well bothersome and like you and you part time GF hubby, we may feel odd being around such. Cders as these often just enjoy the clothes and not the mindset that may go with cding, again unless they are committing lewd acts we just have to accept such.

Lacey, you do have a propensity for lengthy responses! This aspect of CDing has me confused a bit. Why would any guy do all the shaving, make-up, and outfit while have no intention of presenting as a woman? I believe what you state as true as I've seen it. I just thought that this person was an A**, just like the jerk of a guy he is.
My guy while dressed would love to be mistaken as a woman, not accepted as a CD. And so do most all her friends.
Men that may enjoy the clothing but not care to act the part will never be accepted in a Women's public washroom or gym locker rooms. Not ever.
So many topics on how to walk, talk, or cross legs like a woman says that clothing alone is not enough. I can accept a feminine side to my husband, not a clothing fetish.

I thought maybe that guys comfortable in business suits would dress prettier as woman, casual guys would dress as casually dressed women. That turns out not true though. My guy hates male business attire. He wears boring solid color work clothes all the time. As she, bold and pretty colors come out. Big, flashy jewelry that dangles. Personality doesn't change much, just more dainty. At first, I thought his dressing had something to do with my less than frilly clothing. She wears skirts more often than I do. Some of her friends that are in construction jobs love corsets and lace.

Seems that most of you are pretty much the same personality regardless of mode of dress. The fashion styles are what changes most. Ah well, that makes our catalog shopping more interesting.

Eileen

[Lacey Hadley]

I agree Eileen,

I as a Cder would WANT and would CRAVE to never be outed as CDer, to feel totally passable as a woman, but when dressed I do my darnedest to dress, act, carry myself and talk like a GG. I practice my voice a lot when I full dress. I am a kinda a photo narcissist. I am very skilled to take very good photos of myself as Lacey and I love looking at her in pics I see her all made up, hair, clothes, shoes/boots etc. in photos and in home made videos and I see a 100% wonderful woman.

Guys who dress up as you said and often act like an a** often dress in part or whole for a sexual rise or even may hate women and may dress as such to kind of mock them. IMO it's a perverse thing. I bet guys as such likely had abusive mothers or domineering older sisters.

[Hanna]

Lacey,
Nice post. I can totally relate. I am just beginning to see Hanna now. and probably won't live long enough for me to to know Hanna as you have figured out who Lacey is. But enjoying it more and more.

[Lacey Hadley]

Hanna,


I feel most cders who come around to accepting this side and to take it to a point of full dressing with hair and makeup, usually wish they came around earlier in life. I was in my 30's by the time I began to dress more in full and still, um was very sloppy and ham fisted in my makeup. Though I feel CDing will always have a bit of a stigma to most of us CDers, many of us learn to deal with it. I've gotten to understand how to more properly do my makeup. I think about coordinating my outfits and shoes/boots just like most GG's do before I dress. I often will plan a dressing session on a day off and will put my outfit together the night before I go to bed, much like my ex-wife use to do.

It's funny now, as back then as a 'dude' who hid his cding and was um crude with it in secret, but was like a guy, I'd see my wife go through her closet before she went to bed and plan her outfit for work the next day (she was an office type worker and they had a pretty rigid dress code, men and women dressed very professional looking), I'd almost roll my eyes being that 'dude' (though I recall at times wanting to do the same as a cder.). Nowadays with me accepting Lacey I will even be at work and my mind would wander about planning my outfit and shoes/boots, which wig to wear and what makeup details I would do, eye shadows, blush as well as lip colours. It will be very yummy to my femme mind.

[Eileen (SO)]

The inner female that was part of all you gals is part of your personality from birth, some kept it hidden far too long. Anne Bonny, have we gotten of topic?
My guy can now openly talk about fashions, feelings, emotions, now that we have his girly side opened up. He's still my guy, that needs to dress up sometimes. That lady is still pretty much the same person with better manners.

Oh, and we do plan an outfit days, weeks, even months, before an event. Guys just wear what's clean with no concept of what matches. A cd husband knows better. Gotta love that aspect!

Eileen

[Anne Bonny]

Not at all Eileen, I am pleased this thread has sparked interesting conversations so where it goes perspectives, topics...I enjoy seeing the twists and turns.

I do not feel I put any more effort than I do on my male side...I mean there is more effort to look nice that takes place over time...I maintain like any woman would...over time I have allowed my hair to grow out much more than the average male, shaving my body hair, plucking eyebrows when needed, nose hair grooming....skin care.... nail care...Oh...and don't forget being toned and at your correct weight...so important... eating correctly, getting my water and vitamins. We are at a huge disadvantage I am of moderate size and there are many women who are taller and larger than I am, still I am above the average size of most women just as a starting point. I have no problem selecting an outfit within seconds and make up only takes minutes...Jewelry...fix the hair.... But planning far in advance? Is that really needed!? I am just being myself...I do not alter my voice or mannerisms, they may alter slightly but only naturally and when my gender is flowing to feminine I suppose I am ... yeah I am different than when my masculinity is running it does not require effort I just am as I am. I bet when I am made up I look every bit as good as any who have spent time planning in advance...how many women truly plan days in advance unless it is a wedding, or some other huge social event? Nah, for every day advance thinking is no more than ...hum...I feel like shorts and a top...oh definitely a nice dress today.... If I were going to work then yeah I can see the night before assembling an outfit to save time in the morning but that's about it for me. I believe I am like most genetic women I mean really. I do not see them stressing ... shopping but not stressing!

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Stressing out about clothes and what to wear , so you don't see many women doing that . Hmmm okay.then lets tag this on your list of a little more to know about my self.

Scottish nights for myself,

I think about what I,m going to wear a few days before, and just before getting ready for the night, something along the lines of......this is not right ,, do I have to go,, oh heck, as I go through a few more outfits then okay this one ....WILL...have to do. I really do if you like stress it a lot.
I don't know just some times ...most time s I go through oh dear here we go again ,I know what my issue is and allways have done , for a female who,s not pretty has issues about how she / I look and it does effect my life in many different aspects of what I wear where I,m going and how I feel about my self in being normal, ,

I have to wear something nice and cant get away with any thing , as a commitee member I do have responcabiltys and am in front of a lot of people, I don't just have it easy being a female , I know others have struggles like myself,

And with my talks with many men from what I see life can be more accommodating in so much. and I think theres more expections for us than men.and not just in how we dress .

...noeleena...

[Victoria K.]

I consider myself a free-spirited woman who does not conform to what society considers the norm.A very kind and caring woman who will try to do her best to spread the love that this world needs more of.

[Anne Bonny]

Noleena....I agree with you if you are going to work...or to special events it is reasonable to think about it and to plan in advance by a day or so. If a woman is to be married it is probably several months to find the right dress. For an evening formal event...may be weeks in advance....going to work or for meetings...it may be a day or so...but for every day may be the night before of just a little thought in the morning before going to work. Likewise there can be an appointment with the hairdressers, Make up, nails....depending if it is a very special event for a woman. So having observed my wife and sisters and mother and listening to other women...Yeah there can be great expense, a great deal of planning to look absolutely stunning.

I am sure I would just stun people no matter what I do... Hah! Eyes and mouths wide open...cups of coffee dropped....etc.

[Requal Jo]

Plan and simple. I am Requal. Just a person experiencing and enjoying their feminine personality and sharing this with my wife in private.

What is the feminine personality? (I dare not answer this question). To Requal it is the environment and what ever is influencing her at the time.

[AileenT]

.....If so many of us are essentially the same person whether en femme or drab why do so many of our significant others have such a problem with our desire to dress? Some go so far as to leave us. I am fortunate in that my wife embraces my feminine side and has often asked me why I didn't confide in her sooner (when I was younger and not as wrinkled......lol).

She has told me that, even when dressed, she doesn't see a different person; she knows it's me and that I am not any less of a man simply because I find enjoyment in wearing women's clothes and make-up.....

,
This is an interesting topic. I'm surrounded, at work and off work, by 20-30 something women, and I feel comfortable and identified with them, and when dressed often feel like a 30 something. I have a theory (my latest) that women are the form that most suits my inner feelings and expression. When dressed, my feelings and personality doesn't change, but how I "present" changes in subtle ways. My body is softer, I sit and walk more gracefully, and my words are kinder. I don't feel this is an imitation of women, so much as feminine is the natural expression of my feelings.

I once had a lover who discovered I was borrowing her lingerie. At first she was quite upset, but then chilled, and then realized that she liked me better when femme--I was sweeter, kinder, sexier.

[Victoria K.]

Basically what i was before i started transition! A very loving, emotional girl who only wants to do good in this world. Love looking my best, want to be held,loved and treated for who i am. I consider myself a very feminine woman who will do what ever it takes to be the way i feel.