Sometimes I need a Joan of Arc....where's my knight in shining armor to sweep me away on her white steed!
Hum...good thoughts lately, here's another. I understand there is variability we can say men and women tend to share internal feelings and that there is indeed some cross over. So for a 50/50 quasi gender guy....can anybody state it is out of the ordinary for many men like myself to be fully living their lives quite happily fully in a cis-gender role their entire life!? Sure! Absolutely! I am sure there are. There are men who want to get along, men who have a deep need to feel loved and supported, men who have a deep internal need to be loved as their strong confident woman takes on a dominant role at times both within their marriage and life as well as in the bedroom. Is there anything wrong with this!? Absolutely not. It is a marriage of equality of give and take each taking a role at different times and places as they live together as one, as a loving team and couple. Sure there are men who are just like I am and who just as I am are able to fill the masculine role in their married lives if that is how their wives desire. I felt pushed out front frequently in our marriage. I really regret that, well I had needs that were not met. I deeply needed love and support and wanted that at times even in the bed. Why is that wrong!? People men and women are different and there are men who have different needs. Unfortunately while I loved my wife, and she loved me...she never permitted or acknowledged rather she would get mad when I wanted a hug, love and support and In bed...well It was always on me... So I do admit that as a quasi person I suppose that is where I cross the gender line. I hated being pushed out front to go off and do battle I was never allowed to have a champion because I was expected to be that. To be the man, to confront and do battle so to speak...be the champion.
That is I suppose what makes my gender transgender...half female or feminine...quasi.
Ok I understand all of that about myself....
But Why do I feel a desire and a need to get into women's clothing, wear make up, fix my hair, shave legs etc?
Well...I believe even were my needs met by a strong confident woman....I would still want to wear women's clothing.
It makes no sense! I do not have breasts...but I want them and put forms into a bra and wear them, put on panties, make up, fix my hair and I just enjoy being able to go where I feel I Identify inside and when I am feeling feminine I just cannot seem to move past this. I dress because my gender peaks and flows to this feminine side and I suppose I have to dress because it's who I am inside. When I feel so strongly feminine inside, true wearing clothing consistent with that only makes sense but more than that I feel I have to because who I am that feeling is so strong I have to, need to, and desire it.
If you are a man...you are a man and you dress and are a man...If you are a woman it is exactly the same thing.
People can argue and object but they fail to understand for them it seems ridiculous, stupid...you don't have breasts! I am a girl not you! ... well no actually.... when all my internals are glowing femm...the masculine moves over out of the way and I suppose that is just it.
We are all different but I bet we do share many things in common.
And if men like myself...sometimes need a Joan of Arc....doesn't this empower Women and doesn't it raise their status as it cannot be denied women through history have not been seen as equal.
Why do we dress?
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Why do we dress?
Go with the flow
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Lacey Hadley
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 219
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 4:24 am
- Location: Greater Vancouver, Canada
Re: Why do we dress?
Crossdressing for me has become a necessity. If I could not crossdress and often fully en femme, I'd at minimum be miserable, highly stressed out and at worst possibly suicidal. Though at the time it was not the only issue I had when married but crossdressing and not being able to do it when married was a part of a deep misery and depression for me. My wife was a very cute and well dressed, highly fashionable woman. As a dude I loved it and I was attracted to her in a big part of her fashion sense but also she was intelligent and very fine with being feminine. But she was very emotional, bordering on irrational and having a neurosis at times IMO. But I so wanted to dress like her as a girl. Yes I would in private try on some of her clothes, but all in all cding was DEEP in the closet for me at the time.
I'm much more aware of cding and my internal feminine side today. Lacey is me as a girl 100%. If I were a GG I'd be Lacey. I know make up better today, fashion sense better today and I see women as any male would but also as a female mind. I cannot help but look at women and how they dress good or bad, their makeup, their hair and shoes etc. I see Lacey dressing as such.
As to society, we must get over the fact that a percentage of society will not get it with us or with transgender people. Some will hate us and may be rude to us. We can't change that! We can only make sure the law protects us as persons as it protects all others. All western developed nations have full protection of laws for all citizens and as such we only need to make sure the laws are enforced. Identity politics and it's often bully activism will only ensure push back by otherwise normal society. When we separate each of us into little social political groups we only divide and create animosity, confusion and hate among all groups. We do not bring justice to all by separating all into said groups. If I could, I'd get rid of ALL identity politics. Identifying with like minded groups is totally fine as a social structure we all do it and have done it in life, but not political action IMO.
As a person I know not all people may like me or associate with me. Not because I'm a cder but because they just don't like me, as we all have our hang ups and biases. So I have to expect not all will understand me, like me, want to associate with me as a cder too. We can't force it. We can only implore just treatment under the law.
So our journeys are individual to each of us, regardless of cding or being a TG. We must learn to be true to ourselves. If we can do that well enough, we may be able to impact in a good way onto other's who care... That's about all we can do
I'm much more aware of cding and my internal feminine side today. Lacey is me as a girl 100%. If I were a GG I'd be Lacey. I know make up better today, fashion sense better today and I see women as any male would but also as a female mind. I cannot help but look at women and how they dress good or bad, their makeup, their hair and shoes etc. I see Lacey dressing as such.
As to society, we must get over the fact that a percentage of society will not get it with us or with transgender people. Some will hate us and may be rude to us. We can't change that! We can only make sure the law protects us as persons as it protects all others. All western developed nations have full protection of laws for all citizens and as such we only need to make sure the laws are enforced. Identity politics and it's often bully activism will only ensure push back by otherwise normal society. When we separate each of us into little social political groups we only divide and create animosity, confusion and hate among all groups. We do not bring justice to all by separating all into said groups. If I could, I'd get rid of ALL identity politics. Identifying with like minded groups is totally fine as a social structure we all do it and have done it in life, but not political action IMO.
As a person I know not all people may like me or associate with me. Not because I'm a cder but because they just don't like me, as we all have our hang ups and biases. So I have to expect not all will understand me, like me, want to associate with me as a cder too. We can't force it. We can only implore just treatment under the law.
So our journeys are individual to each of us, regardless of cding or being a TG. We must learn to be true to ourselves. If we can do that well enough, we may be able to impact in a good way onto other's who care... That's about all we can do
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand
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Noeleena
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 409
- Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:09 am
- Location: South Island, New Zealand
Re: Why do we dress?
Hi,
Being equal, being counted as the same , going back say 10,000 years were we equal then , not in many societys from the info i,v seen ,yet in a few we were the ones with a high ranking and were looked on as very strong , in mind and what we could do , later what happened to those societys they died out and very few remained ,
To day how do we fare , not so good and those of us who are strong get abused killed and used
,You are right we all . well most of us any way do have needs . male or female and thats 9 months before we are born
even when i talk with men i, do bring up with some how i feel about those needs and no they are not being met. just as well i can laugh about it or i,d go stir crazzzzy , because i,m very strong i can get through it. , because i was trained and disiplined well i can handle most detail thrown at myself allso i had to take control ...if you like.... many things .
So the disipointments some of us go through can ether make us strong or take us down,
so far i,v come through pretty well. yes of cause i have my down days and nights ,
We as females were thought of as being weaker or the fair,er sex maybe so, yet are we , some of us had to be strong just to live. and give birth to our children.
To myself its not about what we wear.....or how we look ..... its about how we can work together not compete against each other its how we bring what gifts we have and share them ,
As this does not effect me as some of you,s here i wonder about this......the attraction for our clothes and wonting to look like us, it does raise some interesting ? you guys who are stronger than us , why do you so wont to be like us , some not all the time just now and then.
And yet some men who despise us for being female , will deny they do dress like us,
What is it that we have or born with that you so wont at all cost , and yes i know too well of many case,s this is going on,
The mind set of man to me is i,ll never know, or understand.
...noelenna,...
Being equal, being counted as the same , going back say 10,000 years were we equal then , not in many societys from the info i,v seen ,yet in a few we were the ones with a high ranking and were looked on as very strong , in mind and what we could do , later what happened to those societys they died out and very few remained ,
To day how do we fare , not so good and those of us who are strong get abused killed and used
,You are right we all . well most of us any way do have needs . male or female and thats 9 months before we are born
even when i talk with men i, do bring up with some how i feel about those needs and no they are not being met. just as well i can laugh about it or i,d go stir crazzzzy , because i,m very strong i can get through it. , because i was trained and disiplined well i can handle most detail thrown at myself allso i had to take control ...if you like.... many things .
So the disipointments some of us go through can ether make us strong or take us down,
so far i,v come through pretty well. yes of cause i have my down days and nights ,
We as females were thought of as being weaker or the fair,er sex maybe so, yet are we , some of us had to be strong just to live. and give birth to our children.
To myself its not about what we wear.....or how we look ..... its about how we can work together not compete against each other its how we bring what gifts we have and share them ,
As this does not effect me as some of you,s here i wonder about this......the attraction for our clothes and wonting to look like us, it does raise some interesting ? you guys who are stronger than us , why do you so wont to be like us , some not all the time just now and then.
And yet some men who despise us for being female , will deny they do dress like us,
What is it that we have or born with that you so wont at all cost , and yes i know too well of many case,s this is going on,
The mind set of man to me is i,ll never know, or understand.
...noelenna,...
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Diana Michelle
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1754
- Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2014 2:17 am
- Location: Northern Michigan
Re: Why do we dress?
Why do we dress? Because it can get awfully cold up here in the winter without any clothes on. 
The reality is way too many are hung up on the clothing aspect of all of this. They presume that because they like they like dressing in feminine clothes they must be transgendered and ready for surgery. They brag how they can spend hours on end in heels and assorted foundation garments and almost admonish women because they complain about being comfortable. They tell us because we opt for slacks rather than a skirt, or flats instead of heels, or opt not to wear hose for the weather is hot and humid we have forgotten what it is to be a real woman. The fact is clothes do not make the woman, the woman makes the clothes. I am the same woman and just as feminine in my old boat shoes, jeans, and U of M sweat shirt as I am in heels and a cocktail dress adorned in diamonds and pearls.
I am certain right about now many of you are saying this b1tch is a CD hater and looks down at those of us who merely enjoy dressing in feminine attire. Nothing could be further from the truth! As I believe we all know the TG community encompasses a wide range of lifestyles and gender and sexual orientations. I know many from all aspects of that range and am friends with many of those, from the married heterosexual CD to TGs of varying sexual orientations.
What I am attempting to get through here is for most of you don't try to overthink all of this. Some people like to work on cars, some like to play golf, some like to go fishing, some like to read, and some like to wear the clothes of the other gender. It is that simple!
Yes I said some of you because there are some, though not as many as most of you believe, that it is not just the feeling of the clothes. There is more to it for that group. That group where there is more should seek professional help, obviously a therapist versed in gender issues is the optimal. I know that is a huge step for some, for others an easy task. I know way back when I wrestled with my own gender identity I picked up the phone countless times to make the appointment, sometimes even going as far as dialing the phone then hanging up before finally making that first appointment. For those of you have questions about whether therapy is right for you or lack the resources, or are just simply frustrated as to where to start turn to your local LGBT organization. There are vast resources, help, and even a shoulder to cry on if that is what you need waiting to be used.
The reality is way too many are hung up on the clothing aspect of all of this. They presume that because they like they like dressing in feminine clothes they must be transgendered and ready for surgery. They brag how they can spend hours on end in heels and assorted foundation garments and almost admonish women because they complain about being comfortable. They tell us because we opt for slacks rather than a skirt, or flats instead of heels, or opt not to wear hose for the weather is hot and humid we have forgotten what it is to be a real woman. The fact is clothes do not make the woman, the woman makes the clothes. I am the same woman and just as feminine in my old boat shoes, jeans, and U of M sweat shirt as I am in heels and a cocktail dress adorned in diamonds and pearls.
I am certain right about now many of you are saying this b1tch is a CD hater and looks down at those of us who merely enjoy dressing in feminine attire. Nothing could be further from the truth! As I believe we all know the TG community encompasses a wide range of lifestyles and gender and sexual orientations. I know many from all aspects of that range and am friends with many of those, from the married heterosexual CD to TGs of varying sexual orientations.
What I am attempting to get through here is for most of you don't try to overthink all of this. Some people like to work on cars, some like to play golf, some like to go fishing, some like to read, and some like to wear the clothes of the other gender. It is that simple!
Yes I said some of you because there are some, though not as many as most of you believe, that it is not just the feeling of the clothes. There is more to it for that group. That group where there is more should seek professional help, obviously a therapist versed in gender issues is the optimal. I know that is a huge step for some, for others an easy task. I know way back when I wrestled with my own gender identity I picked up the phone countless times to make the appointment, sometimes even going as far as dialing the phone then hanging up before finally making that first appointment. For those of you have questions about whether therapy is right for you or lack the resources, or are just simply frustrated as to where to start turn to your local LGBT organization. There are vast resources, help, and even a shoulder to cry on if that is what you need waiting to be used.
Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did only she did it backwards and in high heels!
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Why do we dress?
Haha...Noleena...Yeah what is it? "What is it that we have or born with that you so wont at all cost?" Hahahahaha....
That is an outstanding observation.... I am not sure it is at all possible to answer or provide one in any way. I will of course try....you know I will...Firstly I am not sure we ourselves have the slightest idea other than inside ourselves we are inside already exactly as you are! Hence it is not a question at all of anything women have, and we cannot want what we already share and always have since we were aware enough to be aware of it. If we are identical inside we already have it and there is no wanting it because we already do!
How's that!? Gender is nothing more than just this sense of "this is who I am" period. So to the extent partially or in full (having been born with a male body) we are! We cannot do anything about being who we are except to be who we are. In my case my gender is kind of 50/50...so it leads me into sharing equal time with my guy side being a girl here and there mainly many mornings...switching to guy in the afternoons a lot but somedays I am all guy expecially if I have a lot of work to do but If I am doing tradtional lighter tasks indoors...domestic stuff...well lends itself to Anne pitching in and doing her thing.
Ok...Diana...hum...I suppose...yeah I wear a lot of things and can even be in guy clothes and still I am just me. I suppose were it not for all of this switching back and forth...inside myself...I would feel more motivated to seek a counselor. But at age 60 geeze.... Thing is I really am fine as a woman...I do not wear dresses and skirts every day! I do have shorts and t shirts or ladie's tops and jeans I wear too....but in time....things run their course...and I know that I have had the thought inside..." What are you doing!? You idiot! This is all ridiculous! You do not have breasts! You are not a girl! You have no part in any of this...go change!" At other times Anne comes along and she says something to me like "Get up! You are a girl! Go change! You have always been a girl!" Seems I am unable to go one way or the other but am permanently stuck in a time share gender. I have thought ... well If you were living much more one way or the other that is why I have never thought of surgery, really because I have spent most all of my life in the role prescribed for me for which I was socialized, and pushed and reinforced and expected to live as...Who knows Had I had anyone recognize and had they sat me down and begun to encourage and socialize me telling me it is ok...would I have spent much more of my life living as a woman with my male self as secondary?
I think had I been allowed ... could be I would have spent most of my life living openly and in that case I would suppose have been a candidate for all that is entailed in having a female body to the extent possible. I love people like Charlie Martin...gosh she is so beautiful in every way and in her 30's is able to live the life she was meant to live.
For myself at age 60 ... time is short...30 years? And I am not sure ... no I for whatever reason find I am only able to live in a time share arrangement unable to go one way or the other. I have made my peace with this...I have I believe come into my own...still I present male as a father to my sons who grew up with me as their father, so knowing I am TG will never be anything but an issue...I listened to advice to keep it from your children until they were old enough to know... There are people I just cannot risk losing and because people see us as freaks with a mental illness that is delusional...and against "God" because they are both traditional and conservative. I would definitely lose members of what family I do have. Not one sister who I did tell, or my sons. But what of the other sister, what of my sister's children my niece and nephews and their spouses, my son's Catholic spouse who I was given to understand is a definite "NO!" Well sad... but I have an inner circle.
Am I just a cross dresser...transvestite...in it because of some twisted sexual compulsion or fetish? I don't know..does it make any difference to me...will my life be any different? No...I do know I desperately want and will desire until I die to find another loving relationship with a woman and that is problematic for me. I will need a very open minded, easy going common sense person who is laid back and loving, smart and wise and confident and strong but who loves all of who I am even more so than my dear wife was ever capable of loving me. Anne needs love acceptance and encouragement she needs a Joan of Arc on a white steed... sniff...Ha!
So I have no clue and suppose it does not matter as long as I am pleased and satisfied between here and the time I fall into permanent unconsciousness forever.
___________________
So...does it really matter if someone were to come in here right now and see me as a girl right now and forever? No...not really.
That is an outstanding observation.... I am not sure it is at all possible to answer or provide one in any way. I will of course try....you know I will...Firstly I am not sure we ourselves have the slightest idea other than inside ourselves we are inside already exactly as you are! Hence it is not a question at all of anything women have, and we cannot want what we already share and always have since we were aware enough to be aware of it. If we are identical inside we already have it and there is no wanting it because we already do!
How's that!? Gender is nothing more than just this sense of "this is who I am" period. So to the extent partially or in full (having been born with a male body) we are! We cannot do anything about being who we are except to be who we are. In my case my gender is kind of 50/50...so it leads me into sharing equal time with my guy side being a girl here and there mainly many mornings...switching to guy in the afternoons a lot but somedays I am all guy expecially if I have a lot of work to do but If I am doing tradtional lighter tasks indoors...domestic stuff...well lends itself to Anne pitching in and doing her thing.
Ok...Diana...hum...I suppose...yeah I wear a lot of things and can even be in guy clothes and still I am just me. I suppose were it not for all of this switching back and forth...inside myself...I would feel more motivated to seek a counselor. But at age 60 geeze.... Thing is I really am fine as a woman...I do not wear dresses and skirts every day! I do have shorts and t shirts or ladie's tops and jeans I wear too....but in time....things run their course...and I know that I have had the thought inside..." What are you doing!? You idiot! This is all ridiculous! You do not have breasts! You are not a girl! You have no part in any of this...go change!" At other times Anne comes along and she says something to me like "Get up! You are a girl! Go change! You have always been a girl!" Seems I am unable to go one way or the other but am permanently stuck in a time share gender. I have thought ... well If you were living much more one way or the other that is why I have never thought of surgery, really because I have spent most all of my life in the role prescribed for me for which I was socialized, and pushed and reinforced and expected to live as...Who knows Had I had anyone recognize and had they sat me down and begun to encourage and socialize me telling me it is ok...would I have spent much more of my life living as a woman with my male self as secondary?
I think had I been allowed ... could be I would have spent most of my life living openly and in that case I would suppose have been a candidate for all that is entailed in having a female body to the extent possible. I love people like Charlie Martin...gosh she is so beautiful in every way and in her 30's is able to live the life she was meant to live.
For myself at age 60 ... time is short...30 years? And I am not sure ... no I for whatever reason find I am only able to live in a time share arrangement unable to go one way or the other. I have made my peace with this...I have I believe come into my own...still I present male as a father to my sons who grew up with me as their father, so knowing I am TG will never be anything but an issue...I listened to advice to keep it from your children until they were old enough to know... There are people I just cannot risk losing and because people see us as freaks with a mental illness that is delusional...and against "God" because they are both traditional and conservative. I would definitely lose members of what family I do have. Not one sister who I did tell, or my sons. But what of the other sister, what of my sister's children my niece and nephews and their spouses, my son's Catholic spouse who I was given to understand is a definite "NO!" Well sad... but I have an inner circle.
Am I just a cross dresser...transvestite...in it because of some twisted sexual compulsion or fetish? I don't know..does it make any difference to me...will my life be any different? No...I do know I desperately want and will desire until I die to find another loving relationship with a woman and that is problematic for me. I will need a very open minded, easy going common sense person who is laid back and loving, smart and wise and confident and strong but who loves all of who I am even more so than my dear wife was ever capable of loving me. Anne needs love acceptance and encouragement she needs a Joan of Arc on a white steed... sniff...Ha!
So I have no clue and suppose it does not matter as long as I am pleased and satisfied between here and the time I fall into permanent unconsciousness forever.
___________________
So...does it really matter if someone were to come in here right now and see me as a girl right now and forever? No...not really.
Go with the flow
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Lacey Hadley
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 219
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 4:24 am
- Location: Greater Vancouver, Canada
Re: Why do we dress?
Having realized the following lesson in life let me say this.
One of the greatest personal things one can learn is that LIFE IS NOT FAIR! IT NEVER HAS BEEN! IT NEVER WILL BE! THEIR IS NOTHING ANYONE OF US NOR OF 7+BILLION PEOPLE ON EARTH CAN DO TO MAKE IT FAIR!
Why is this a great lesson? Because once you accept that life is not fair and never will be you break those bonds that have held you to an ideology that will never let you be free.
Once you accept the lack of fairness in life you begin the journey of personal freedom. You begin to live first for yourself, you empower yourself and you make your choices, you accept the wins and you account for the losses. From these things you now can better give of yourself to others, your family, your neighbours, your friends, your coworkers, your business partners and your community/society. You do this out of ability and want not out of obligation. YOU HAVE MORE PERSONAL FREEDOM!
This false narrative of social fairness and equality of outcome is a death knell. By living to said false narrative you imprison yourself for others who will never see said fairness nor equality of outcome. They will also no matter how much you give out of obligation to fairness and equality of outcome NEVER THANK YOU!
So we are forced by our society to have obligations, much of it unneeded nor often going for true goodness, but we do not have to line up like sheep to the slaughter of this ideology of fairness for all and equality of outcome... Society should always strive to improve justice's failings, to improve opportunity for all, to improve one's own ability to live free(er) as the individual they wish to be as long as they are lawful. There is not much more we can expect from society. If we lived for ourselves, finding each our own way with as few obligations to society as we must then we become more free of will, or mind, more free of living and we live to better share ourselves with other free(er) people. We become better, more just, more compassionate and caring individuals. Ironically society then becomes more fair as a side result even if true fairness is still and always will be unattainable. But we all did what we do of our own free choice, good, bad or indifferent. If all is lawful we shall be free and safe from punitive measures. If unlawful we shall suffer consequences.
This above post of my POV is another one I learned as I took my red pill in life. I got tired of bleeding for others and saw nobody bleeding for me in my time of need or fear. In fact often no matter how much I gave and did it was by these parasites NEVER ENOUGH! I was still a bad person as I had some 'privilege' only made up in their effed up minds but they were quick to crap on me... I SAW THE LIGHT, I SAW THE LIGHT, I SAW THE LIGHT!
My red pill journey will be life long and will see more truths and reality appear before me. It is and will be scary but I feel more free of mind today than all the years of virtue signalling and self flogging myself, even as a minority in society as some will call me "some white male freak faggoty crossdresser."
One of the greatest personal things one can learn is that LIFE IS NOT FAIR! IT NEVER HAS BEEN! IT NEVER WILL BE! THEIR IS NOTHING ANYONE OF US NOR OF 7+BILLION PEOPLE ON EARTH CAN DO TO MAKE IT FAIR!
Why is this a great lesson? Because once you accept that life is not fair and never will be you break those bonds that have held you to an ideology that will never let you be free.
Once you accept the lack of fairness in life you begin the journey of personal freedom. You begin to live first for yourself, you empower yourself and you make your choices, you accept the wins and you account for the losses. From these things you now can better give of yourself to others, your family, your neighbours, your friends, your coworkers, your business partners and your community/society. You do this out of ability and want not out of obligation. YOU HAVE MORE PERSONAL FREEDOM!
This false narrative of social fairness and equality of outcome is a death knell. By living to said false narrative you imprison yourself for others who will never see said fairness nor equality of outcome. They will also no matter how much you give out of obligation to fairness and equality of outcome NEVER THANK YOU!
So we are forced by our society to have obligations, much of it unneeded nor often going for true goodness, but we do not have to line up like sheep to the slaughter of this ideology of fairness for all and equality of outcome... Society should always strive to improve justice's failings, to improve opportunity for all, to improve one's own ability to live free(er) as the individual they wish to be as long as they are lawful. There is not much more we can expect from society. If we lived for ourselves, finding each our own way with as few obligations to society as we must then we become more free of will, or mind, more free of living and we live to better share ourselves with other free(er) people. We become better, more just, more compassionate and caring individuals. Ironically society then becomes more fair as a side result even if true fairness is still and always will be unattainable. But we all did what we do of our own free choice, good, bad or indifferent. If all is lawful we shall be free and safe from punitive measures. If unlawful we shall suffer consequences.
This above post of my POV is another one I learned as I took my red pill in life. I got tired of bleeding for others and saw nobody bleeding for me in my time of need or fear. In fact often no matter how much I gave and did it was by these parasites NEVER ENOUGH! I was still a bad person as I had some 'privilege' only made up in their effed up minds but they were quick to crap on me... I SAW THE LIGHT, I SAW THE LIGHT, I SAW THE LIGHT!
My red pill journey will be life long and will see more truths and reality appear before me. It is and will be scary but I feel more free of mind today than all the years of virtue signalling and self flogging myself, even as a minority in society as some will call me "some white male freak faggoty crossdresser."
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Why do we dress?
I am an agnostic, simply means I suspend judgement on what can never be proven one way or the other. I am a realist and my philosophy as I discovered is that of Ayn Rand's Rational Objectivism. I confront reality and manage whatever comes to optimize outcomes for myself as best I can. I am an individualist. Our purpose is to achieve our greatest potential. I am not a slave to anyone but I am free to provide help to any who through no fault of their own have suffered hardship but that is not and should never be our primary focus in life, we are. Like the victims of Harvey I donated to redcross.org...I have loaned money to my sitter who was in a tight spot a time or two...and If I have the ability and someone needs assistance I have helped others. But this is not my primary focus in life my highest purpose is to achieve my highest potential. If you live your life as a slave to others that is not virtuous at all because you have placed everyone above and have denied yourself so that you fail to achieve your potential which can benefit others. If you are an artist, or a teacher, or a Doctor, Nurse, or Lawyer, or builder, architect or whatever..if you go off and ignore and deny yourself and become a slave you never achieve your potential as a person. I do hate to share this because Ayn Rand was being provocative and people fail to understand fully what she is stating when she states Selfishness is a virtue, but it is not selfishness as you would typically think about it in following your base instincts which is not what she is talking about but selfishness in ensuring all that you do helps you to achieve your highest purpose and potential which is different and is not just to fill selfish pleasurable or base pursuits but the work of doing things that have benefit in the end but are not always pleasurable. Like the difficult course of study and the work of learning and honing your talents and abilities so that you achieve your potential, your goals in life and all that that entails by doing things that are good for you but that are not necessarily pleasurable. Mental and physical labor, eating right, learning, working...honesty, honor....that is what she means leading a virtuous life. So helping others is something we can and should do if we are able but it is not our primary focus. We are good and moral and law abiding because it makes sense to be so and is hence good for us...virtuous. etc...
Virtue is moral excellence. A virtue is a trait or quality that is deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being.
People have human nature and are capable of being very good or bad. It makes sense to be good because it is in our own best interest to be so socially, legally, if we wish to avoid negative consequences to ourselves.
The idea of sin is a religious concept as is the idea that people are basically evil because they have inherited sin and need a savior because we are not able to be good. This is a terrible belief that sets up all kinds of false and negative limits on us emotionally, stunting us and preventing us from standing fully erect so we are able to feel quite rightly good about ourselves and all of our accomplishments because they are ours not that of some mythical being who happened to work through us because we are incapable to accomplish anything or anything good because we are supposed to be inherently bad due to a supposed sinful nature that delights in evil.
I was so glad that I freed myself of these ideas...No we are not evil, rather we have human nature and it is in our best interests to be our best self and most desire to be naturally on our own. Yes there are some who do not but they are mentally deranged.
Virtue is moral excellence. A virtue is a trait or quality that is deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being.
People have human nature and are capable of being very good or bad. It makes sense to be good because it is in our own best interest to be so socially, legally, if we wish to avoid negative consequences to ourselves.
The idea of sin is a religious concept as is the idea that people are basically evil because they have inherited sin and need a savior because we are not able to be good. This is a terrible belief that sets up all kinds of false and negative limits on us emotionally, stunting us and preventing us from standing fully erect so we are able to feel quite rightly good about ourselves and all of our accomplishments because they are ours not that of some mythical being who happened to work through us because we are incapable to accomplish anything or anything good because we are supposed to be inherently bad due to a supposed sinful nature that delights in evil.
I was so glad that I freed myself of these ideas...No we are not evil, rather we have human nature and it is in our best interests to be our best self and most desire to be naturally on our own. Yes there are some who do not but they are mentally deranged.
Go with the flow
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Lacey Hadley
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 219
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 4:24 am
- Location: Greater Vancouver, Canada
Re: Why do we dress?
The orthodoxy of mainstream/established religion is not for me... Having a faith and a belief in 'God' or a higher power though is quite acceptable to me as none of us truly know if said God or higher power exists. Having a relationship with Jesus is a fine thing for myself and people to do as it often helps keep people spiritually centered and moral or ethical. Atheistic persons can be ethical if their personality and strength from such allows such, but IMO it may be harder at times as one has no faith or belief in anything outside of their own here and now. Belief in something tomorrow can help people stay centered morally and ethically.
The western developed world was built much on a foundation of faith in God and as such Christianity dominates. Though history shows even Christian religion can fail as humans can fail and we often do. The fact is that Christianity helped to stabilized the rise of western developed world power and society based on general liberties with democratic values. Even those who are Atheistic or Agnostic often value and accept religious values of Christian faith in our western world. How many Atheists an Agnostics celebrate Christian Holidays? Most do, maybe not died in the wool ideals of these Christian Holidays but to celebrate and fit in society as such.
It is often easier for many to be moral and ethical with a basis in spiritual faith, often harder to do so if one is not of faith. Of course since religion is man made it as such and again is of its own failing and obstinate to the individual and his/her beliefs and relationship to say God or if Christian towards Jesus Christ. This hard nose orthodoxy turns many people off from faith and it should not as faith is separate from religion.
My life has ebbed and flowed from depths of spiritual beliefs, from at times being mildly Atheistic to Agnostic to being of faith and reading the Bible as well as praying to God. Life's struggles, lost loves, lost family members, lost friends and disappointments and yes its victories have caused me to bounce around inside a spiritual world.
I believe as the western world from the foundation that it set up for itself with many of these bricks from a greater vision of a spiritualism and lessons it teaches, be it Christian or not, but of a faith in a higher power that helped us to see in many ways to create the greatest society ever created, the western developed world, as it seems to fall away from such that the western developed world we will crumble to our downfall.
We are seen as replacing our western values with a growing Cultural Marxism and all its various SJW type allies with all its terrible, flawed and failed ideology as well we bring in a nonwestern, backwards faith and culture out of our own virtue signaling and of a self-loathing, a culture with no concept of roots in western values. If we fail to react and respond by re-embracing in a 21st century idealism of the general western values we used to build our western developed world for what 200+ years, these two 'cults' which both despise the west and western values will eventually but heads and attack each other for supremacy as neither are true allies to each other but only use each other to attack the western world. I sadly see dark days ahead for our lacking of future vision and lack of belief in our greater western society.
Personally any faith I keep does not view me as evil or sinful by my crossdressing and by being very feminine when I do so. Being WHO I AM, who a 'God' or higher power made me is no a sin in my eyes. Orthodox religion may have used such idealism to again stifle individuality from the group think. We are no longer in our 15th-16th-17th centuries.
If 'God' as such exists in judgment of us I do not believe myself or any lawful person who crossdresses or finds of themselves as being truly transgender, will be judged badly as we are trying to find and be ourselves. This will help us be better persons of a healthier outlook on life, thus we can give more of ourselves freely towards others. Why would any God want to punish us for trying to be who we are as long as we are lawful.
There are may acts one can do unlawfully, unethically and immorally which can hurt others and not just ourselves. Denying me of who I am and how I feel as a CDer only hurts myself, what 'God' or higher power in judgement would want that?
We do not have to abandon faith or even a trust in the western world of Christianity or a belief in Christ, but we do not have to fall prey for controlled orthodoxy of man made religion. We need to strive to live lawfully, carry a level of morals and ethics, re-embrace western world values and not subjugate our society to flawed Marxist values or to a backwards cult... We will rue abandoning western values and a foundation built much in part with western spiritualism... Post-modernism is a call for our own cultural suicide. The idea of any and all things being mere social constructs will be our downfall... Life be it personal and of a greater society has hard facts, real truths and life's reality of ebb and flow, ups and downs. With western world values comes liberty, with liberty come responsibility and accountability.
Denying reality, our own history and understanding of our real world out of a "MY FEELINGS" lunacy is dangerous. One can step off a sidewalk onto a street in front of a bus and as such BELIEVE they will have said bus pass right through them as their values are based on a "MY FEELINGS" and a social construct, BUT! I have $1000.00 on the bus winning as it is in reality land and not froo froo fluff fluff 'my feelings' post modernistic, social construct land.
Just as any person can believe they will live forever on Earth, I am 100% certain they will not. No amount of post-modernistic, life is a social construct bull crap will prevent this.
The western developed world was built much on a foundation of faith in God and as such Christianity dominates. Though history shows even Christian religion can fail as humans can fail and we often do. The fact is that Christianity helped to stabilized the rise of western developed world power and society based on general liberties with democratic values. Even those who are Atheistic or Agnostic often value and accept religious values of Christian faith in our western world. How many Atheists an Agnostics celebrate Christian Holidays? Most do, maybe not died in the wool ideals of these Christian Holidays but to celebrate and fit in society as such.
It is often easier for many to be moral and ethical with a basis in spiritual faith, often harder to do so if one is not of faith. Of course since religion is man made it as such and again is of its own failing and obstinate to the individual and his/her beliefs and relationship to say God or if Christian towards Jesus Christ. This hard nose orthodoxy turns many people off from faith and it should not as faith is separate from religion.
My life has ebbed and flowed from depths of spiritual beliefs, from at times being mildly Atheistic to Agnostic to being of faith and reading the Bible as well as praying to God. Life's struggles, lost loves, lost family members, lost friends and disappointments and yes its victories have caused me to bounce around inside a spiritual world.
I believe as the western world from the foundation that it set up for itself with many of these bricks from a greater vision of a spiritualism and lessons it teaches, be it Christian or not, but of a faith in a higher power that helped us to see in many ways to create the greatest society ever created, the western developed world, as it seems to fall away from such that the western developed world we will crumble to our downfall.
We are seen as replacing our western values with a growing Cultural Marxism and all its various SJW type allies with all its terrible, flawed and failed ideology as well we bring in a nonwestern, backwards faith and culture out of our own virtue signaling and of a self-loathing, a culture with no concept of roots in western values. If we fail to react and respond by re-embracing in a 21st century idealism of the general western values we used to build our western developed world for what 200+ years, these two 'cults' which both despise the west and western values will eventually but heads and attack each other for supremacy as neither are true allies to each other but only use each other to attack the western world. I sadly see dark days ahead for our lacking of future vision and lack of belief in our greater western society.
Personally any faith I keep does not view me as evil or sinful by my crossdressing and by being very feminine when I do so. Being WHO I AM, who a 'God' or higher power made me is no a sin in my eyes. Orthodox religion may have used such idealism to again stifle individuality from the group think. We are no longer in our 15th-16th-17th centuries.
If 'God' as such exists in judgment of us I do not believe myself or any lawful person who crossdresses or finds of themselves as being truly transgender, will be judged badly as we are trying to find and be ourselves. This will help us be better persons of a healthier outlook on life, thus we can give more of ourselves freely towards others. Why would any God want to punish us for trying to be who we are as long as we are lawful.
There are may acts one can do unlawfully, unethically and immorally which can hurt others and not just ourselves. Denying me of who I am and how I feel as a CDer only hurts myself, what 'God' or higher power in judgement would want that?
We do not have to abandon faith or even a trust in the western world of Christianity or a belief in Christ, but we do not have to fall prey for controlled orthodoxy of man made religion. We need to strive to live lawfully, carry a level of morals and ethics, re-embrace western world values and not subjugate our society to flawed Marxist values or to a backwards cult... We will rue abandoning western values and a foundation built much in part with western spiritualism... Post-modernism is a call for our own cultural suicide. The idea of any and all things being mere social constructs will be our downfall... Life be it personal and of a greater society has hard facts, real truths and life's reality of ebb and flow, ups and downs. With western world values comes liberty, with liberty come responsibility and accountability.
Denying reality, our own history and understanding of our real world out of a "MY FEELINGS" lunacy is dangerous. One can step off a sidewalk onto a street in front of a bus and as such BELIEVE they will have said bus pass right through them as their values are based on a "MY FEELINGS" and a social construct, BUT! I have $1000.00 on the bus winning as it is in reality land and not froo froo fluff fluff 'my feelings' post modernistic, social construct land.
Just as any person can believe they will live forever on Earth, I am 100% certain they will not. No amount of post-modernistic, life is a social construct bull crap will prevent this.
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand
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Debbie Jean
- Account Deactivated at Member's Request
- Posts: 167
- Joined: Tue May 03, 2016 3:36 pm
Re: Why do we dress?
As to why I cross dress, I want to share a partial cut-and-paste from my autobiography. Although this is written about my very early years, the same thinking has carried over to my adulthood, with little boy and girl things being replaced with adult things (like monster trucks and sexy lingerie). So here it is:
When I was a little boy I never went through that pre-puberty stage when little boys were for one reason or another repulsed by girls. I don’t have a clue as to why I “missed out” on that stage of life, but I’m really glad I did. When other little boys were going through that stage, they seemed rather sullen or unhappy, and about as enthusiastic about being with girls as they would be about a trip to the dentist. I however, during that time was always happy-go-lucky.
So did I try to talk the other little boys into liking the girls? Of course not, I wanted the girls all to myself. I wasn’t born yesterday. So I would say that although I “missed out” on a certain stage of life, I had an additional dimension to my life that all the other pre-puberty boys didn’t have. By that I mean as far back as I can recall, I was always attracted to girls. I always loved them and always wanted to be close to them. I recall as a little boy always trying to work myself into situations where I could be close to and therefore able to hug and/or kiss the girls. I behaved like a playful and affectionate little puppy dog whenever I was with the girls.
I don’t recall anything ‘naughty’ or ‘dirty’ about my feelings, I simply thought that the girls were so pretty and were so friendly and smelled so wonderful and I totally loved being with them. Now that doesn’t mean that I was turned off by ‘guy’ things like sports or trucks or trains or any of the other things that little boys usually gravitate to. To the contrary, I fully participated in that part of being a young boy. I discovered that I could be attracted to ‘rugged’ as well as ‘pretty’ things at the same time. I didn’t want to be forced to choose between ‘rugged’ and ‘pretty’, I wanted both. That previous statement dovetails with one of my long-held beliefs which simply says: “Don’t let anybody talk you into believing that you must make a choice between two things, when you can have them both. They only sling that kind of BS because they are jealous.”
Thanks for reading.
hugs,
Debbie Jean
When I was a little boy I never went through that pre-puberty stage when little boys were for one reason or another repulsed by girls. I don’t have a clue as to why I “missed out” on that stage of life, but I’m really glad I did. When other little boys were going through that stage, they seemed rather sullen or unhappy, and about as enthusiastic about being with girls as they would be about a trip to the dentist. I however, during that time was always happy-go-lucky.
So did I try to talk the other little boys into liking the girls? Of course not, I wanted the girls all to myself. I wasn’t born yesterday. So I would say that although I “missed out” on a certain stage of life, I had an additional dimension to my life that all the other pre-puberty boys didn’t have. By that I mean as far back as I can recall, I was always attracted to girls. I always loved them and always wanted to be close to them. I recall as a little boy always trying to work myself into situations where I could be close to and therefore able to hug and/or kiss the girls. I behaved like a playful and affectionate little puppy dog whenever I was with the girls.
I don’t recall anything ‘naughty’ or ‘dirty’ about my feelings, I simply thought that the girls were so pretty and were so friendly and smelled so wonderful and I totally loved being with them. Now that doesn’t mean that I was turned off by ‘guy’ things like sports or trucks or trains or any of the other things that little boys usually gravitate to. To the contrary, I fully participated in that part of being a young boy. I discovered that I could be attracted to ‘rugged’ as well as ‘pretty’ things at the same time. I didn’t want to be forced to choose between ‘rugged’ and ‘pretty’, I wanted both. That previous statement dovetails with one of my long-held beliefs which simply says: “Don’t let anybody talk you into believing that you must make a choice between two things, when you can have them both. They only sling that kind of BS because they are jealous.”
Thanks for reading.
hugs,
Debbie Jean
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Lacey Hadley
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 219
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 4:24 am
- Location: Greater Vancouver, Canada
Re: Why do we dress?
Debbie Jean,
I too never felt any revulsion towards girls as a little boy growing up. I could easy enough be socializing and playing with girls as I could boys, just as I could easy enough spend hours just playing around with things all by myself. I too loved being around cute dressed girls and was lucky as my sister would bring her friends over to socialize and play with. I would see their outfits, shoes and how their hair was made up and I would just be able to drift off into imagining me wearing such stuff and having hair styled like theirs... It was so wonderful for my then little boy's mind.
So too like you I never felt any fear or being around with girls even as a little boy... I often loved it. 
I too never felt any revulsion towards girls as a little boy growing up. I could easy enough be socializing and playing with girls as I could boys, just as I could easy enough spend hours just playing around with things all by myself. I too loved being around cute dressed girls and was lucky as my sister would bring her friends over to socialize and play with. I would see their outfits, shoes and how their hair was made up and I would just be able to drift off into imagining me wearing such stuff and having hair styled like theirs... It was so wonderful for my then little boy's mind.
So too like you I never felt any fear or being around with girls even as a little boy... I often loved it.
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand
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Alisa
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 180
- Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2015 6:15 am
Re: Why do we dress?
Here is a interesting take on this question Dr. Novic. http://aliceingenderland.com/twotypesoftranswomen.html
Dressing as a woman is treatment for for an intersex condition.
Dressing as a woman is treatment for for an intersex condition.
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Debbie Jean
- Account Deactivated at Member's Request
- Posts: 167
- Joined: Tue May 03, 2016 3:36 pm
Re: Why do we dress?
Another good reason....
My wife told me yesterday as I was getting dressed: "Your butt looks so much better in those panties than it ever did in that junk you used to wear". Does anybody need any more reason than that?
hugs,
Debbie Jean
My wife told me yesterday as I was getting dressed: "Your butt looks so much better in those panties than it ever did in that junk you used to wear". Does anybody need any more reason than that?
hugs,
Debbie Jean
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Lacey Hadley
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 219
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 4:24 am
- Location: Greater Vancouver, Canada
Re: Why do we dress?
Alisa wrote:Here is a interesting take on this question Dr. Novic. http://aliceingenderland.com/twotypesoftranswomen.html
Dressing as a woman is treatment for for an intersex condition.
Excellent link Alisa... The doctor in the article certainly comes at it from a very commonsense POV. I am a born straight to MTF crossdresser. Alice Novic M.D. seemed to nail a lot of how I feel in the article. I found it more reassuring that she noted born straight MTF's have a strong line to protecting a heterosexual marriage or LTR if they are in one, but may also develop tendencies towards a same sex relationship. I'm a 50 something and cding for me has matured into more acceptance and joy even though it can be hard for me. Being divorced I do not feel that urge to fight to keep my marriage intact so cding is a reflective and an active outlet for me and keeping my sanity. Only one other GG I dated knew I was a cder. As time in my life passed and passes I find I dress up fully with make up and hair, more often today than I did 10-15-20 years ago. My skills to dress and look more feminine and polished are much higher today than back when. As a result notably when I am very happy at my image projected dressed as a girl I have a feeling of what would it be like to be found desirable by a man... NEVER IN MY 'DUDE' LIFE HAVE I EVER FELT THIS! In drab I have no sexual interest in males. I only as a dude sexually desire GG's and I also love analyzing their clothing, hair and makeup choices. Often in real life or watching GG's on t.v or in movies my mind will say things to myself like. "Hmm she's hot... I'd do her... but damn nice dress, or nice blouse and skirt, or rockin those heels, or wow love her hair, or wow nice makeup... Usually followed by I'd wear that or do my hair like that or my makeup like that.
But back to dressing fully up as Lacey, in recent times almost out of the blue the thought of my femme self being desired by a man, a confident man and being able to sort of fall almost vulnerable-like into said man's arms does fill my mind. It's a very powerful feeling and as Lacey all dolled up feels very good. I am not sure if or when I may try said out as this is all just another brick on my cding wall. But as to Dr. Novic, she really has me pegged in my ways of a born straight MTF. Am I tger who needs to live full time as a female? I don't feel that, but then again two years ago I'd never imagine what being a girl like Lacey could ever imagine a desire, any desire of being romanticly and even sexually with a man... We just do not have crystal balls as to our thoughts and feelings in our future.
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
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- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Why do we dress?
Basically gay or latently gay vs not.... Some of us are some of us are not. Some of us are male lesbians! We can see ourselves with women who are attracted to our female side and we ardently desire that. Sexuality is a completely separate thing all together. We cannot do anything about how we were born we are male or female. We cannot do anything about our sexuality. Same with our gender...We tend to discover we are different at a very young age we are far from understanding any of it at say anywhere between the ages of 3 and 10? But we definitely know what we are feeling is in major conflict with everyone around us...we feel our parents would severely punish us and never allow us to forget it we would be whipped, yelled at and shamed permanently so that our life would be ruined, there would be no going back...in my case my parents died never knowing...if you want to keep this secret then you do it. Those who don't find ways of tripping their selves up so that they are found out about and are then confronted.
So being feminine inside to a great extent does not have anything at all to do with your sexuality. There is no slow transition into full time living which leads to transitioning from straight to homosexual. I contend If you prefer men it is because you have always been gay already latently and deep down inside your psyche....
I do have though, some question...if you have "the chop" so that an "inny" is created....AND! your hormone cocktail coursing through your veins is changed over to estrogen....and as you live and breath socializing with other women as a woman.... Well I was interested in reading about my heroine's transition...she posted several hundred youtube posts and in them stated she began to notice men, and that the men around her began to offer assistance and to treat her with the same respect men show to women...she is fantastically gorgeous...and with the hormones she slowly began to wonder and to feel differently. She came to discover sex is different because now you have a female set up....she reported she began to wonder and not be sure anymore...and I think today she is either bi or indeed is a heterosexual female...with male partners.
So...I am not saying sexuality cannot evolve, but if it does it is because you were deep down already bi or gay...or because of your gender and the surgery and the hormones and new differences and how you are treated and socialized changes over time because of all of this...I believe sexuality can change for all of those reasons. But without the surgery and the hormones unless you are already latently gay deep down...you remain little more than a male heterosexual who happens to be feminine to great extent and continue in your preference for women.
I am not in any denial personally...there is a huge wall of disgust and skincrawling revulsion to intimacy with someone of my same sex....I mean ew! I would have to spit out the saliva brush my teeth and wash all over ....never....
But if your sexuality is fine with me because sexuality is whatever it happens to be we are just born this way.
So being feminine inside to a great extent does not have anything at all to do with your sexuality. There is no slow transition into full time living which leads to transitioning from straight to homosexual. I contend If you prefer men it is because you have always been gay already latently and deep down inside your psyche....
I do have though, some question...if you have "the chop" so that an "inny" is created....AND! your hormone cocktail coursing through your veins is changed over to estrogen....and as you live and breath socializing with other women as a woman.... Well I was interested in reading about my heroine's transition...she posted several hundred youtube posts and in them stated she began to notice men, and that the men around her began to offer assistance and to treat her with the same respect men show to women...she is fantastically gorgeous...and with the hormones she slowly began to wonder and to feel differently. She came to discover sex is different because now you have a female set up....she reported she began to wonder and not be sure anymore...and I think today she is either bi or indeed is a heterosexual female...with male partners.
So...I am not saying sexuality cannot evolve, but if it does it is because you were deep down already bi or gay...or because of your gender and the surgery and the hormones and new differences and how you are treated and socialized changes over time because of all of this...I believe sexuality can change for all of those reasons. But without the surgery and the hormones unless you are already latently gay deep down...you remain little more than a male heterosexual who happens to be feminine to great extent and continue in your preference for women.
I am not in any denial personally...there is a huge wall of disgust and skincrawling revulsion to intimacy with someone of my same sex....I mean ew! I would have to spit out the saliva brush my teeth and wash all over ....never....
But if your sexuality is fine with me because sexuality is whatever it happens to be we are just born this way.
Go with the flow
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Lacey Hadley
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 4:24 am
- Location: Greater Vancouver, Canada
Re: Why do we dress?
Anne,
I believe that gender and sexual identity are not one in of the same. We are born each our own biological gender, male or female, but psychologically I feel our brains, character may to some degree be created different from our physical appearance. Since each person is unique in of themselves this degree of 'dysphoria' will be different and maybe even ebb and flow as each person grows and experiences life and the influence of life on the shaping of our innate character or being.
Transgenderism is a birth abnormality (I do not mean abnormality as a bad thing but transgenderism is a small percentage minority in society's total numbers, thus it's an abnormality). Social upbringing and experiences will shape this and of course the human brain develops into our 20's so how and what transgenderism is to each person who has it as a dysphoria will change as they grow and puberty will also affect this too. I am against prepubescent medical intervention on trans persons. These minors are too young to know better and may as puberty hits change in how they look and feel about being transgender.
I also feel parenting and IMO more often than not over bearing mothers, single mothers or with weak fathers may influence a child to be trans out of fear or in hopes of being so to please this mother, who may have wanted a little girl and fans such onto a young boy who may have some cding predilection but may out want to please mother develop a trans role. People listen, I'm not saying all children and all case but in some cases and as such prepubescent medical intervention of trans issues is not a good thing.
A true transgender person who believe they know that they are in the wrong body will be better and more responsibly equipped to make said life changing decisions once into puberty. I do not feel it's wise to put them on this near irreversible course before at minimum age 16.
As a Cder and as such in some form of trans issues my life has seen ebb and flow on my gender and desire to be feminine. Yes, my feelings of such go back to childhood, but no way could I have made a proper choice before age of majority even if I had some adult pressure, mother, father, doctors etc. pushing me to think I'm trans and must become a female. As a 50 something I still do not see it all clearly. Obviously my experience is not the same of all others, but I know enough to feel it's not a child's decision to make. By all means let the sub age 16 minor experiment if the child and parents feel the child may be trans, but no life changing hormones or operations.
As to sexuality, since most cders are straight or bisexual we see that gender identity even as a cder is not the same as sexual preference. A transgender person, MTF or FTM may be gay, bi or straight. These two biological issues are again not one in of the same. Social conditioning and life experiences may colour and affect one's sexuality above the hard wire starting point. Even many straight people have had or have gay thoughts. The brain is a complex organ and IMO constantly changing from its original hard wired point to suit the host's life, feelings, wants and desires. I noted earlier my thoughts about sexuality. In drab mode I am 100% heterosexual. Most of my life even in cd mode I felt an affinity to females, even if at times I though of bisexual-ism. When I dress up fully as Lacey today, sexuality will often see me think about what it may be like to be swept off my feet by a confident man... Never have I carried out this and I likely will not (but who knows
???) but my sexuality has shaped in my life, experiences good and bad as well as in conjunction with my effort to be ever more advanced in my crossdressing, to look more and more feminine, proper and good. Seeing the evolution of Lacey has shaped my mind in ways and in my wonderment of sexuality. So yes gender and sexuality are hardwired as starting points at birth but can and are shaped by our growing up, life experiences and influence of others, notably parents, guardians, sibling, peers and general society and its ebbs and flows. ,
I believe that gender and sexual identity are not one in of the same. We are born each our own biological gender, male or female, but psychologically I feel our brains, character may to some degree be created different from our physical appearance. Since each person is unique in of themselves this degree of 'dysphoria' will be different and maybe even ebb and flow as each person grows and experiences life and the influence of life on the shaping of our innate character or being.
Transgenderism is a birth abnormality (I do not mean abnormality as a bad thing but transgenderism is a small percentage minority in society's total numbers, thus it's an abnormality). Social upbringing and experiences will shape this and of course the human brain develops into our 20's so how and what transgenderism is to each person who has it as a dysphoria will change as they grow and puberty will also affect this too. I am against prepubescent medical intervention on trans persons. These minors are too young to know better and may as puberty hits change in how they look and feel about being transgender.
I also feel parenting and IMO more often than not over bearing mothers, single mothers or with weak fathers may influence a child to be trans out of fear or in hopes of being so to please this mother, who may have wanted a little girl and fans such onto a young boy who may have some cding predilection but may out want to please mother develop a trans role. People listen, I'm not saying all children and all case but in some cases and as such prepubescent medical intervention of trans issues is not a good thing.
A true transgender person who believe they know that they are in the wrong body will be better and more responsibly equipped to make said life changing decisions once into puberty. I do not feel it's wise to put them on this near irreversible course before at minimum age 16.
As a Cder and as such in some form of trans issues my life has seen ebb and flow on my gender and desire to be feminine. Yes, my feelings of such go back to childhood, but no way could I have made a proper choice before age of majority even if I had some adult pressure, mother, father, doctors etc. pushing me to think I'm trans and must become a female. As a 50 something I still do not see it all clearly. Obviously my experience is not the same of all others, but I know enough to feel it's not a child's decision to make. By all means let the sub age 16 minor experiment if the child and parents feel the child may be trans, but no life changing hormones or operations.
As to sexuality, since most cders are straight or bisexual we see that gender identity even as a cder is not the same as sexual preference. A transgender person, MTF or FTM may be gay, bi or straight. These two biological issues are again not one in of the same. Social conditioning and life experiences may colour and affect one's sexuality above the hard wire starting point. Even many straight people have had or have gay thoughts. The brain is a complex organ and IMO constantly changing from its original hard wired point to suit the host's life, feelings, wants and desires. I noted earlier my thoughts about sexuality. In drab mode I am 100% heterosexual. Most of my life even in cd mode I felt an affinity to females, even if at times I though of bisexual-ism. When I dress up fully as Lacey today, sexuality will often see me think about what it may be like to be swept off my feet by a confident man... Never have I carried out this and I likely will not (but who knows
???) but my sexuality has shaped in my life, experiences good and bad as well as in conjunction with my effort to be ever more advanced in my crossdressing, to look more and more feminine, proper and good. Seeing the evolution of Lacey has shaped my mind in ways and in my wonderment of sexuality. So yes gender and sexuality are hardwired as starting points at birth but can and are shaped by our growing up, life experiences and influence of others, notably parents, guardians, sibling, peers and general society and its ebbs and flows. ,The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand