New here and I have finally accepted who I am

[Pheona_Porter]

I am new here and it has take me many years to finally accept who I am.

I have for many years known / appreciated that I was different from other boys.
Even as young as 8 years old I can remember that after school, some days would
be spent playing with other boys in sporty type things and other days would be
spent playing with girls in girly type games. ie Skipping, jacks etc etc.

For many, many years I wondered who and / or what I was.
I was clearly more than just a boy.

Throughout my working life I still pondered that I was different but did not
understand why or what the difference was or were.

In recent times, now retired, I have suffered some medical misnomer that even
the medical experts cannot identify.
I just take the pills every day and I am grateful for each morning that I
wake up to see the new day,

I am NOT a Transvestite or a Transexual, but I am definitely Transgendered.

What I post below is my final understanding of who or what I am. It has
taken considerable time and effort to compile, but I am happy to post
it here on the Crossdressers-Haven for all my TG friends to read and if it is felt
necessary, to comment on.

What and/or Who am I

The bravest choice you can make in life is to be yourself.

Two Spirit

This English term emerged in 1990 out of the third annual inter-tribal Native American/First Nations gay/lesbian American conference in Winnipeg. A direct translation of the Ojibwe term, Niizh manidoowag, "two-spirited" or "two-spirit" is usually used to indicate a person whose body simultaneously houses a masculine spirit and a feminine spirit. The term can also be used more abstractly, to indicate presence of two contrasting human spirits (such as Warrior and Clan Mother) or two contrasting animal spirits (which, depending on the culture, might be Eagle and Coyote). However, these uses, while descriptive of some aboriginal cultural practices and beliefs, depart somewhat from the 1990 purposes of promoting the term.

Two-Spirit

To begin with you have to understand / accept / believe that every being is made up
of two distinct components:

1. A physical body defined by its sex - Male or Female.
2. A spiritual being that is defined by its gender - Masculine or Feminine.

1. The physical Body
This can be designated as having a Sex - Male (M) or Female (F) or Intersex (I)

2. The spiritual or Inner Being (sometimes called the Soul)
This can be designated as having a Gender - Masculine (M) or Feminine (F)

For the majority of the population ( Around 88% ):

A Masculine (M) spirit will occupy a Male (M) Physical Body OR
A Feminine (F) spirit will occupy a Female (F) Physical Body OR
A Feminine (F) spirit will occupy an Intersex (I) Physical body.

The other 12% of the population are Transgendered where

A Masculine (M) spirit will occupy a Female (F) Physical Body OR
A Feminine (F) spirit will occupy a Male (M) Physical body.

For a tiny percentage of the transgendered population:

A Masculine spirit (M) AND a Feminine spirit (F) occupy a Male (M) Physical body.
This is the Two-Spirit transgendered person like ME.
(Note: I know of no reported cases of a two spirit occupying a Female (F) Physical body).

Being Two-Spirited is the area that most people have difficulty understanding, so here are
a couple of useful and very informative links:

http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Two-Spirit" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://twospirits.org/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

The percentage influence of each spirit can vary almost by the hour and
the environment that the person is currently within.
Be it a learning environment, work environment, social environment, medical environment etc etc.

In my childhood the influence was close to equal. I had both Male
friends and Female friends. There were some girls who wondered why a boy
would play girls games with them, how little they, or I, knew at that time.

During my working life, the Masculine spirit was dominant, with the
Feminine spirit intervention from time to time if appropriate.
Socially they were about equal.

Shortly after Easter 2016 I appear to have suffered some medical changes that have had
consequences on my memory and spiritual dominance.
I appear to have little or no memory from around 2009 to current date.
Short term memory is now very poor. I have to write things down.

However, since then, the Feminine has the dominant spirit
with intervention by the Masculine spirit when needed / required.
One aspect of this feminine dominance is that I am much more emotional,
hugging friends is now second nature and tears flow regularly.
Another aspect is that I wear womens clothing almost exclusively.
Masculine clothes by definition but from the ladies department.

I hope that helps to identify ME.

A Male (M) Physical body inhabited by a Masculine (M) spirit and Feminine (F) spirit.

Physically Male, slight pot tummy, 5 feet 5 inches ( 165cm ) tall,
size UK 12/14, size UK 6EEE footwear. DOB 21 April 1949.

I dress androgynously all the time. Whether the garments / footwear are designated
for male or female. My two spirited inner being is happy either way.
I haven't worn Male footwear / hose for over 10 years.

[DonnaT]

Hi Pheona, aboard.

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, Pheona.

[Emily]

Welcome to the Haven, Pheona!

[KimberlyS]

Welcome Pheona, that is a great intro. I look forward to hearing more from you.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Kelly]

Welcome,

I truly hope you wrote down your login information to the haven. I think that a daily perspective of your life is important. Please post early and often.

Kelly.

[Kelly]

Welcome,

I truly hope you wrote down your login information to the haven. I think that a daily perspective of your life is important. Please post early and often.

Kelly.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Pheona, and welcome to the Haven!


- SL

[CathyAnn]

Hi and welcome pheona.

[Martina Hall]

Welcome, Pheona!

[Pheona_Porter]

Thank you for all the welcomes. Thank you.

[Ms. Erin]

Welcome dear. Hugs

[Requal Jo]

Hi Pheona and welcome to this friendly and supportive haven. Thank you for a wonderful and detailed introduction.