What else is there

[Steve]

24/7 for years. Everything from Control Briefs to Hiphuggers. Both Cotton and Nylon and Such. Would not even think of wearing old men's diapers.

[Anne Bonny]

Each and everyone of us just happen to be whoever we are inside. Our bodies are not the entire story. The other part of who we are lay within ourselves wherever it resides. It just so happens that our bodies and our gender are not in complete agreement and for some they are in full disagreement! This goes against prevailing convention but we do not get to pick and choose...who we are just is.

[Anne Bonny]

Gaw...this morning with a strong desire to be in my feminine...Compulsion vs fluidity??????? Son is living with me through the summer and I always suppress suppress suppress so as not be be a girl in front of him presenting his father as both sons do not really want to see dad in a dress make up and all polished up. Why am I so tormented that sons can seem an inconvenience that sliding into where I am inside must be suppressed leading to an increase stress level. Yes, may seem petty and insignificant to any and all who are not as we are, they feel nothing and believe we feel nothing either...just get over it! Don't do it...be a man...etc.... No we would never receive sympathy because so called "normal" people who are cis gender do not feel anything ever with regard to having to suppress expressing who they are inside. Perhaps if they were made to crossdress then told suppress the desire to change back into the clothing you feel you should be wearing...then they might understand or have some sense of what we are forced to endure because we are pressured and forced to dress opposite of what we desire because they do not believe our problem is real, and that this is just a compulsion or sexual compulsion and that we need psychiatric intervention to straighten us out! Suppose we told them they need psychiatric intervention to straighten them out because their gender is supposed to be like ours...opposite or fluid! Not real...right we are just doing it all, faking over our entire lifetime until we die, wrong this is who we are!

[Hanna]

Anne,
I sympathize with you. # months is a long time to suppress dressing.
I have a daughter, 30 yo. I know she has many gay friends and has life with her bf now for six years.
I do not know if I would intentionally dress before her, but I have a gut feeling that some how she would be able to accept my habit/desire a lot easier than my wife.
Kids are all different, maybe you could have a conversation and some how bring the topic in and see how he feels.
A few days before I came out to my wife we watched a Netfix flic, "My New Girlfriend" . It helped break the ice for me/us.

[Anne Bonny]

Gee...did I post that on this thread!? I have been kind of out of it today...worked cleaning out a large part of the cabin on my sailboat yesterday using Windex and had plenty of ventilation but several years accumulation of a thin mold...also have not been able to sleep due to very strained shoulder tendons on my L shoulder so this morning I felt...hungover like I was about to come down with something so I have taken it easy all day. have been getting my usual exercise, extra vitamin c, 500mg Tylenol...and sleeping a lot...feeling better now. Thought I had posted that to my journal page...

Ok It is posted here, that's fine. There is a cousin in my wife's family I message a lot...I am very open and she is very supportive. Thing with my sons is...I kept this from them until they were old enough to know...one was 21, the other 18. So They are only used to seeing dad and seeing dad suddenly in a different way for them I believe will always be deep down for them something they do not want to see. They both know, have told me it's alright. But it is not alright for me knowing deep down it would bother them.

Now I do have my ears pierced next week week 6 with the stainless bobs in. I will go a full 8 weeks because the most conservative practice for them to be fully healed and stay open is at 8 weeks. I at times do push the line a little in that I have hair longer than I have ever had in my life. I also have been doing a little of the fluid thing presenting a very subtle mixed appearance at times...woman's running shoes and ankle socks, rings...who can tell what I have on underneath. The other day when everything was dirty I threw it all in the laundry and pulled out the female version of what I wear around the house Jean shorts and a brown t made for women with my women's running shoes... the differences are there but I did that and if he noticed...probably...he said nothing because it is so below the radar screen.

[Requal Jo]

I can understand Anne. I have sons also who would be down right mean and disappointed in me if they knew of Requal. They would not accept it at all.

Requal gets very little time now as they both are around home quite frequently. She does not know when either one will arrive, any time day or night. I find it very frustrating that I can no longer have the privacy that my wife and I once enjoyed.

Don't get me wrong, as I do like my sons and enjoy their company.

[Anne Bonny]

I told my sons. one at age 23...the other at age 18 this current generation is much more accepting...still deep down neither, since they grew up only seeing dad, and for perhaps desiring the average I feel want to see dad in his female... and internally I feel it not right to be openly in my female in front of them especially in front of any grand child.

What I did was to tell them to call prior to coming over. That way I have time to change into "Dad" if I am not currently "Dad". I simply have to have the freedom to be who I am for my own health. If possible I would recommend broaching the topic...or at least stating they need to call because it is irritating if they just drop in unannounced without telling you. Also lock the door when you are home alone that would give you a minute or two then fain oh I was in the bathroom...
wear minimal make up...stash male clothes in the bathroom and you can quickly throw the girl stuff into the vanity about the time you are flushing the commode then running water to simulate washing hands....

[Diana Michelle]

What else is there? What else do you want to be there?

The greatest obstacle any of us face for whatever is the 4 walls we erect in our mind. It matters not whether it is being TG or CD of any difficulty task we face. Not sure who it was but they asked the question "Where does it stop?" I told her it stops where and when you say it does. In essence I am going to tell you similar. Perhaps the question you should be asking is not what else is there but rather what else do I want it to be?

[Annie]

Well said, Diana