Looking thought the laundry basket of the mind.

[Kitty Pryde]

Ok this may be the wrong place to put this thread if it is I'm sorry but. I want put some thing out there on the washing line. as it where and to see if this is this makes sence and if it some thing that others have gone thought or is what I'm feeling a part of something ealse other then transgender?

Ok,here gose nothing, I have watched a few videos about what thought presses. That would be consider, someone to be transgender, one or two did speak to me like I would in privet imagen my self as a a woman. This can range from seeing my self as looking look Ellen page or someone ealse and it dose feel good.

Now at the same time, one of my passions is playing video games and if there a choice of a gender I do pick a girl/woman. Feeling that yes I reviled in the thought of me being that person granted it a fps or first person shooter. this was also covered in the video. On top this I do a story roleplay where I play a female superhero. Yes I have had thought of being them.

I have taken this in account and also watched vloger amd found her video informative to where I could see my self looking at beeing transgender.

I want to state that I have aspergers and dyslexia where there the possable gender diforia. In short I short I want know if a coping as it where or if I long to be a woman. Sorry if this the wrong area to post this.

[KimberlyS]

Kitty, I like your comparison of the mind to a laundry basket. So true a lot of the time.

As for are you transgendered, you are most likely not going find the complete answer here. Most of us are not qualified to help you with that and those that are qualified and have the training will point you to getting local and long term professional you can talk with. Yes there is a lot of good information here, and we can give you general answers to your questions. But to truly figure out if you are transgendered is a sit down, face to face process with a qualified person over month of time. And with the other things going on with you that may take more time to talk through things and get to the real you within.

Stick around and have some fun with us. Read the information and get some questions answered. Some of the information here will apply to you and other information will not, as we have a wide variety of people here. We are here to inform, have fun and support each other.



kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Crystal Joanne]

Hi Kitty. The laundry basket of the mind is very appropriate and I think in my case there's a lot rummaging around in there that needs a good wash.

As for whether you are transgender, well I'm in no position to answer that... and I won't try to. I don't even know if I am, maybe... possibly... could be. I'm not even sure if that matters so much to me now as long as I accept my whole self, don't fight my nature and appreciate the wide variation that exists there.

However I do know a lot about video games and the escapism they offer. Any RPG game that gives me the choice to play a female character and I'll pick that every single time. I've even got to the point these days where I get quite annoyed if I don't have that choice. At one time I used to play tabletop D&D with friends and guess what... I was always the slim, attractive Elf girl. I even did the girly voice when speaking in character, funnily enough my friends actually accused me of not taking it seriously enough so we stopped playing... but then they didn't have a clue about the real me.

Another thing I did was I used to make outfit mods for games like Skyrim and Fallout. I spent ages on them making 3D models of shoes, boots and dresses for my character to wear. Funny thing is that when my friends asked about it I just told them I found the models more challenging to work on than other stuff and it helped me get better at it.

Of course the truth is that was all done in a period of my life when I was out of work and I'd purged my favourite clothes. I basically designed things I wanted to wear or buy but I never saw it that way at the time.

Kind of odd but I think the games and the model making became an outlet for my feminine side to express herself.

[KimberlyS]

... I'm not even sure if that matters so much to me now as long as I accept my whole self,

Crystal that is such a true statement. We like to put label on ourselves for both our self and to give others a point of reference so they can relate to us. We do this with all aspects of our lives. Like cars, motorcycles, sports, specific sport teams, like computers, gaming, camping, sailing..... it goes on and on. It is how as humans we relate. But the important part is that we accept who we are as a person. We do not generally put down others for being a gear head or for liking to spend the day out on the sail boat. We accept that is who we are. So wonder why it is hard to accept we have a femme side and like dresses? It is just who we are.


kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Diana Michelle]

As for whether you are transgender, well I'm in no position to answer that... and I won't try to. I don't even know if I am, maybe... possibly... could be. I'm not even sure if that matters so much to me now as long as I accept my whole self, don't fight my nature and appreciate the wide variation that exists there.

That sums it up perfectly Crystal. As Kim noted we all like to use labels be they be complimentary or degratory. The problem too many have IMO is they try too hard to fit into one of those labels rather than just stepping back and saying I'm OK with how and who I am. The question Kitty and Crystal and everyone should be asking of themselves is am I comfortable with who I am not is this or that who I am? If you can look yourself in the mirror and say "Yes I am comfortable with me" you are far more ahead of the game than most. If you can't say that then ask what is it I am not comfortable with about me, not how can I be like this one or that one?

[Crystal Joanne]

Crystal that is such a true statement. We like to put label on ourselves for both our self and to give others a point of reference so they can relate to us. We do this with all aspects of our lives. Like cars, motorcycles, sports, specific sport teams, like computers, gaming, camping, sailing..... it goes on and on. It is how as humans we relate. But the important part is that we accept who we are as a person. We do not generally put down others for being a gear head or for liking to spend the day out on the sail boat. We accept that is who we are. So wonder why it is hard to accept we have a femme side and like dresses? It is just who we are.

As you say Kimberly people like order and as such labels makes sense when it comes to separating tea or coffee or organising a movie collection but how do you apply a label to a person? History has taught us that categorising people who don't fit into a neat little box simply doesn't work. You can't do it and more importantly you shouldn't do it because it tells you nothing about a person as a whole, and it's going to be vastly different on an individual basis. The fact that I love wearing dresses to one group might make me one of the girls, to another it might simply mean I have a greater appreciation of clothing styles, materials and colours, but to a more extremist group I'm simply a pervert or sex fiend.

Even doctors have tried it, consider Blanchard and his dubious sex based theories. All that man ever did was try to pigeon hole people to fit his own prejudiced theories and when he was debunked he tried to backtrack. It's a prime example of how much harm a badly applied label can cause.

So now we have transgender as this general blanket term but that in itself doesn't really help because it has categories and sub categories and sub sub categories. At some point what more can you do than simply say "I'm just me and I like what I like".

[Crystal Joanne]

That sums it up perfectly Crystal. As Kim noted we all like to use labels be they be complimentary or degratory. The problem too many have IMO is they try too hard to fit into one of those labels rather than just stepping back and saying I'm OK with how and who I am. The question Kitty and Crystal and everyone should be asking of themselves is am I comfortable with who I am not is this or that who I am? If you can look yourself in the mirror and say "Yes I am comfortable with me" you are far more ahead of the game than most. If you can't say that then ask what is it I am not comfortable with about me, not how can I be like this one or that one?

Thanks Diana, in truth it's not really the perfect answer and will never be the Holy Grail end all reason that so many of us have looked for. But after exhausting all possible routes of research in my quest of self discovery I realised that trying to find an explanation was a futile venture. In a time when nobody knows the reason why the only true solution is to kind of take it on faith and accept it's the way it is. For someone like myself that get's so caught up in problem solving it was really hard to view it like that since I'm not religious but I do believe in my femininity and perhaps that's enough. Besides all of the other explanations and opinions I have read have loop holes and flaws and there was never a one size fits all.

There are lots of people out there who get consumed looking for the reason why, as I said I was once guilty of that myself. I think it stems from that feeling of not fitting in and causes a person to search for that one place where they really feel they belong. I don't think it helps when there are a lot of forums out there with an agenda who might ostracise someone who states that they don't have dysphoria or don't want to transition because it goes against what the majority of that peer group are looking for. Those places cause more harm and once again someone might find themselves undoing all the progress they've made and try looking for that elusive answer once again.

I think I should have phrased my initial response the other day a little differently and said "it doesn't matter since I accept myself" but you caught me out on a flaky day and my confidence wasn't 100%. I don't think it ever will be but I get by. I think I am comfortable with myself as I can be... it's generally other people who might treat me badly that make me feel uncomfortable.

[Kitty Pryde]

Thanks for alll the kind words, im trying things out. Some are a little hard seeing my self as a woman with out thinking. About my weight and if i make a passable woman. If i do go down the route of transition, there is a lot of confliction in the mind.

[KimberlyS]

So now we have transgender as this general blanket term but that in itself doesn't really help because it has categories and sub categories and sub sub categories. At some point what more can you do than simply say "I'm just me and I like what I like".

Crystal, it would be great to just say "this is me" and people would get and deal with who we are. We as humans need specifics when we deal with people and interact with people. It is just human nature and how we are wired. It start from the first point of meeting. Friend or foe? Then it just builds from there as we begin to interact with them. Being it right or wrong, this is how us humans interact. And yes I agree that label do not and can not define us completely as labels are to broad and generalistic. Labels just give us a starting point to learn who someone is.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt