i just feel like crying these days

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Wed Jun 02, 2004 11:24 pm

i guess i have sunk into a hard funk again. i know that a lot of people here look to me for inspiration & such, but i too can sink into low points every so often.

i was laid off from the same new job i was bragging about days earlier. i lost a slew of people that i trusted and trusted me. i wasted time & busted my chops today chasing down a job opportunity that turned out to be total bs. i just had a nasty falling out with a gg i was dating. and now i recieved yet another disturbing e mail from someone else on another matter.

i can take no more. i just want to lock myself in a soundproof room and scream and swear for a good 20 minutes.

no job, no special someone, and not a soul in my face-to-face life who can be trusted. plus, kids are being abandoned, or not even being given the chance to live.

im emotionally back to square zero. back under the clouds of darkness.

why cant i just stop crying...

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:06 am

Boy Lorna, No one can say you haven't your troubles.

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 1:29 am

Lorna,

I would be one of those people and never assumed you don't have lows. I am sure everyone here does. I think what I have got from you, is that you should live all the good times you can, because they are not all going to be good times. My best advice to you would be to go back and read your own posts in support of your sisters here. I know you can't be strong all the time, it's ok, you are among friends.
Love always,
Elizabeth

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 8:20 am

Elizabeth wrote:My best advice to you would be to go back and read your own posts in support of your sisters here.

I would but truth be told, but let's face it, the future is grim for me. I have been trying to feed myself the same old bull about how "tomorrow will be better" for years now. Over 2 years have passed, and I'm stuck in the same rut of bad luck as I was before.

I even had my little comedy gigs I used to do, but now that's over. I won't be in any more shows. And the Governor's deal fell thru.

I have come to the conclusion that I will be doomed to bad luck for the rest of my life and any chances at improvement are slim to none.

That I cannot control. The only thing that I CAN control is how I deal with my situation.

I would buy myself something nice to pick myself up, but I'm back in a situation where I can't even afford to treat myself to a lousy ice cream sundae.

I guess I will be in better spirits in a few days; my outlook will improve. But the fact is, my luck will NOT. I will have a better handle on things in a few days. But for now I think I just need to take a little time to be angry at the world for a while, the way a widow needs "grieving time". I need my "angry at the world" time.

i'm just wondering what the HECK I'm going to do to feed myself.

Gwen · Post by **Gwen** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 6:35 pm

Hi Lorna,

Was wondering how things are going for you today. I really took to heart the things you were saying and can share with you that I've been there too.

It takes a lot of courage for me to get out of bed some mornings, I have to deal with a problem with depression that keeps me guessing all the time, so I kinda know how you feel.

Just hope you day is a little brighter.

Courage babe. Keep the courage!