Small steps!

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 11:42 am

My wife and I just got back from our family counselling trip 3rd or 4th session. She really enjoys it and feels it helps our relationship and evidently it is. Today the SBS came up and she said I should go to the Atlanta meeting and that with no prompting from me!!!!
This morning while getting ready, she asked if I - me - moi - her CD'ing husband, could she borrow BORROW some nail polish!!!!! Well I would have qualified for a seat at the World Poker Tournament - stoic, calm, poker faced, (but inside I thought I would explode) "uh, yeah, sure, you may not like the colors, but I will get them...." She chose an off red and put it on and evidently liked it! She reiterated to the counselor and me that she just could not meet Deborah, but for me to go ahead and "do my thing" as long as the dressing did not "spill-over" into our daily lives.
"Hot-Lanta" here comes Deborah!
Love,
Deborah

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 12:45 pm

WOW! That has really gotta feel wonderful!

Just keep taking those "small steps" and one day your wife and Deborah will meet.

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 4:46 pm

Deborah,

I am so happy for you. My wife has borrowed my panties on many occiasions, and flat out stole underwear she liked from me. But she never asks, she always just tells me later. I would explode if my wife asked to borrow nail polish. I don't know how you maintained your composure. I would have choked up and got a dry mouth.

I would for sure consider this move on her part as huge. I mean that is really getting toward acceptance. I mean, now she is using it to her advantage. That is good. Anyways, I have rambled enough. I am so happy for you, I totally understand how you must feel.
Love always,
Elizabeth

CJ · Post by CJ » Thu Jun 10, 2004 5:02 pm

Hi all,

Awesome, Deborah! Good for you.

You know you'll have made another small step when she starts asking you for fashion and beauty tips.

Love,
CJ

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 8:37 pm

Thanks ladies for the support, I know all our realtionship are a bit different, but I think that if your SO is the least bit accepting, then small, carefully calculated steps will sure make your life a lot easier.
Love ya,
Deborah

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 9:08 pm

Hey Sis.

You have become quite the inspiration here, Keep on trucking girl. I am happy for you.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 9:12 pm

Thanks, Sis, but you know I would not be where I am without all my sisters here - Thanks again Girls, from the bottom of my heart!
Love ya, Deborah

Stef · Post by **Stef** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 1:53 am

Congrats Deb!!

When ya going? Maybe I can make it down there and get to meet ya! Maybe we could drag Cindy out to (nudge nudge)

My exwife still comes by about every 3 months to exchange clothes. If I see her at the door I know my closet will have more room before she leaves. LOL but she does also bring things she thinks I would I would like in exchange.

Hugs,
Stef

Curly(SO) · Post by **Curly(SO)** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 5:05 am

That is great news, Deborah, that is a definite step in the right direction, for sure!

Love,
Curly(SO)

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 7:46 am

Stef,
That's a very interesting realtionship? that you have with your "EX" Do you need to expand on that? ha ha My - ex ..................won't even go there!
I will have to check the meeting times and see when they are having their big outings in Hot'Lanta!
Love,
Deborah

Stef · Post by **Stef** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 4:38 pm

Deborah wrote:Stef,
That's a very interesting realtionship? that you have with your "EX" Do you need to expand on that?

Hey Deborah!

My ex and I parted on good terms. We both have children from prior marriages and I couldn't get along with her kids and she couldn't get along with mine. The love is still there but we realized that we were miserable living like we were.

She grew to absolutely adore my feminine side. She liked me better enfemme than when I was dressed as a male. She said I was more at ease with myself and just generally a much nicer person when I'm dressed.

She wasn't always that way. She knew about Stef before we got serious and had no problem with it til after we got married. After we returned from our honeymoon she laid down the law that Stef was dead. She had thrown out all my wigs and clothes, gave my makeup to her daughter and put my jewelry in her jewelry box. I was livid to say the least but figured it was for the best because I loved her and would do anything for her. I was miserable and she knew it but everytime the subject was brought up we'd end up in huge fight. One night about 2am she woke me up and told me to watch the TV. MSNBC had a special about crossdressing which was very well done, after it was over she looked over at me and asked if that was how I felt. I told her yes and she started crying and apologizing. She said she didn't realize the depth to which the need to dress is and she never intended for me to go through so much pain just for her. Within the week I had 3 new wigs, countless outfits and a full makeup case. The following weekend we went out and she had a blast. Not to long after that she would have my bath ready for me when I got home from work and as soon as the kids were in bed Stef was out.
To this day she still checks my site at least once a week and calls about every other week and without fail she not only asks how Steve is doing but also asks how is Stef.

Hugs,
Stef

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 6:23 pm

Stef, All I can say is I see why you are always smiling. I can even sense it in your writing. You are one lucky young lady! I am sorry that the marriage did not work out, but the two of you were mature enough to see what was happening and probably made the right decision. It is no wonder that you have such insight into the trials and tribulations of our sisters your a "been there done that" type of gal! and that ain't all bad!!
Thanks for telling me your story and thanks for all you do for me and our sisters here!!!
Love,
Deborah

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 6:38 pm

OK, Stef, now you've gone and done it! Just read that last post and now I'm sitting here wiping tears from my eyes.

You are one very lucky lady to have such a relationship.

Thank you for sharing.

Stef · Post by **Stef** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 8:00 pm

Thanks Deborah,

I have definately been there and done that in just about anything out there. I try to embrace life fully and enjoy all it has to offer but being that way does have consequences, some good some bad, from which I have learned so much! It did get ugly when the divorce proceeding first started (ie...she outed me to EVERYONE and I in turn outed her new BF who happened to also be a CD to everyone) but we sat down one on one and realized that we had too much love and such a great friendship to just throw it all away. We decided then and there to salvage what we could out of what we had. It did hurt deeply while it was happening but time heals all wounds and we are now just really good friends.

Thanks Kathy but I didn't mean to make you cry! Here's a tissue sis!

Hugs,
Stef

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 12:29 am

Deborah wrote:My wife and I just got back from our family counselling trip 3rd or 4th session. She really enjoys it and feels it helps our relationship and evidently it is. Today the SBS came up and she said I should go to the Atlanta meeting and that with no prompting from me!!!!
This morning while getting ready, she asked if I - me - moi - her CD'ing husband, could she borrow BORROW some nail polish!!!!! Well I would have qualified for a seat at the World Poker Tournament - stoic, calm, poker faced, (but inside I thought I would explode) "uh, yeah, sure, you may not like the colors, but I will get them...." She chose an off red and put it on and evidently liked it! She reiterated to the counselor and me that she just could not meet Deborah, but for me to go ahead and "do my thing" as long as the dressing did not "spill-over" into our daily lives.
"Hot-Lanta" here comes Deborah!
Love,
Deborah

Awesome news Deborah!!!

Beauty

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