Just Venting

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 11:46 pm

You know that it is so fummy, I have worried so much about my wife finding out that it drove me crazy. Well have see found out and was ok with it most likely still in shock.

Now I do not want to dress en femme as much, do not think about it as much. Still wonder about outing sometimes but still I am now confused about where it is heading know.

Is it in another phase or is it dying or what.

Can't seem to understand anything in this world. Gelinda.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 12:19 am

Hi Gelinda,

I think it's a growth or growing phase towards acceptance. Now that you've accepted yourself, I think it's only natural that you'd want to go out.

Beauty

Stef · Post by **Stef** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 4:39 am

Gelinda,

Now that you can dress when you want, you don't have to as often. Kind of like loving cake but you're on a diet and can't eat any so you sneak a bite every chance you can and think about how good that bite of cake was and can't wait to get another bite. When the diet is over you can have all the cake you want. After you have that first piece and now you don't think about it all the time anymore. Has the fact you like cake gone away? No, but now that you know it's there whenever you want it you are comfortable with just knowing you can.

It's the same with dressing, now that you know that you can dress when you want you are comfortable with just knowing you can dress when you want. You will probably go through cycles where the desire to dress is stronger than other times, at least I know I do.

Hugs,
Stef

Jennifer · Post by **Jennifer** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 10:06 am

I think the word "phase" is quite appropriate, we go through many of them and each of us deals with them differently. As for myself, I dressed often when it became clear that my wife was accepting of my feminine side. But after a while the novelty of being able to dress all the time wore off and I find it much more pleasureable when it is something to look forward to. Looking forward to it is also part of the pleasure as I go through my wardrobe in my mind deciding which blouse to wear with which skirt, low or high heels and what accessories. Not dressing doesn't mean you are somehow loosing interest, it will come back, believe me!

Jenn

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 12:20 pm

Thanks a Lot ladies as I have in the past gotten so much insight into myself from all of you..

As most of you know, I work in one state and my wife and family are in another so I am still very afraid of when I am actually in front of my wife for the first time, I know I will allow her the control of what happens but I am still afraid. I love her too much to hurt her. She has a sign on now on this site but see has too worry about the others in the house. I am not sure how many times she has been on. Stephanie so is her sign on.

Thanks again for all ways being here, Gelinda.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 2:25 pm

Hi Gelinda,
For the true crossdresser, the urge never goes away, even if it seems to take a vacation every now an then. "Phases"/ "Stage" there can be a semantic disagreement, but for me stages are progressions from one point to another and according to Carl Jung, the ultimate stage for a CD'er is to either integrate or parallel his anima (femine side) into his everyday life. Not letting the female take over but allowing the male to learn from her and adopt and accept her and then take the "gift" she brings and share it with all you come in contact with. Dressing at that stage is still important but is secondary to following the "Golder Rule."
It is a great trip our "Magical Mysterty Tour!"
Love.
Deborah

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 2:47 pm

Hi Gelinda,

I think it's wonderful that your wife is accepting. I know what you mean - once you have more freedom to dress, at times the urge to do so isn't as strong. It's strange how things work sometimes. For example, I had all of Memorial Day weekend to be dressed enfemme 24/7 but alas I did not dress at all. Strange...

Just take it one step at a time; go at your own pace and make sure your wife does the same. Don't feel obligated to be at any cartain "level" of acceptance simply because a certain amount of time has passed. Whatever you do, whether you're dressed or not at any given moment, just be you and have fun!

*hugs*

~ Lorna