Leaving, Kicked out

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 7:29 pm

Well Girls,

Tomorrow I will be moving out, my wife wants a separation. I have no where to go really, and don't have enough money to get my own place, so I am going back to Wyoming. My best friend said I could stay with him for a while until I can get my own place.

I am so sad, I just can't stop crying. I know that this is going to be the end, we are not going to get back together. She is just trying to do it in stages so as not to shock the kids too bad.

I really don't know what I am going to do, for the first time in my life. I will still be online, my friend will let me use his computer, and next month I will get my own place. It is so much cheaper to live there, I should be able to save so I can come back at the end of summer and get a place. I can't stay in Wyoming for the winter, the cold just makes me hurt too much, I am sure those of you with fibro understand.

I just wanted to thank all of you for your support so far. I can not tell you what a huge difference it has made in my life, and in fact probably saved my life. Knowing all of you, and being accepted here really has changed me. I am beginning to feel like I do have some self worth. That maybe I can still have a happy life somehow. I just have to find out how.

I am really scared. We have been together since I was 22. I have always been faithful, and always, even in the troubled times thought our marriage was solid. But the good news is, Elizabeth is going to get to live. I need to find out how much of me is Elizabeth, I have never done that. I have never had a chance to openly express myself as the person I truely am, and even though I am scared, I am very much looking forward to that..

Wish me luck, I love you all,
Elizabeth

Josey · Post by **Josey** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:13 pm

Hi Elizabeth,

I am very sorry to hear of your problems with your wife. Being a widower, I do understand the fear being alone. I can assure you it will pass in time but in the mean time, it is quite hard to cope with. The idea of spending some time with your friend will probably be good.

Just remember, you still have a family here.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:21 pm

Elizabeth, It may not be much help, but a lot of us are from the "been there, done that" school. It is unfortunate that your wife can not accept Elizabeth, but usually these things work out for the best. I would recommend you continue to allow Elizabeth to help show you the way. There is an old saying, "Women are like tea bags, you don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
You can get through this, girl! Your sisters here are pulling for you and we have faith in your new found strength,
Love,
Deborah

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:23 pm

Hi Elizabeth,

If you need us, please contact any of us, ok?

There's not much I can say, but I will be here sitting in here by you if you need to reach out and know someone is there.

This time will also help you focus on not only Elizabeth but your drabbe side too. I wish you the best.

Beauty

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:24 pm

Blessings Elisabeth,

I am glad you have found us before this happened to you, I hope we can (in some small way) make this easier for you.

Perhaps as time passes you will begin to see some more good come of this, as you have encouraged me with your good news that,

Elizabeth is going to get to live. I need to find out how much of me is Elizabeth, I have never done that. I have never had a chance to openly express myself as the person I truly am, and even though I am scared, I am very much looking forward to that..

I am sorry things did not work out more to your choosing, and want you to know that we want to be here for you, as you go through this difficult time in your life..

Jadeanne · Post by **Jadeanne** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:37 pm

Elizabeth,

I don't know what we can do besides provide a shoulder to lean on, but please stay in touch with us.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jadeanne

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 9:41 pm

Elizabeth: My prays go with you. and I will put you on the list for prayers.

Just listen to the inner you and the man upstairs to get you thru. Gelinda.

CJ · Post by CJ » Mon Jun 14, 2004 12:02 am

Elizabeth,

I echo my sisters' sentiments, here: the road ahead may be difficult but we'll be walking by your side. I wish you strength and courage; the journey before you may hold more wonders than you know.

Love,
CJ

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:48 am

Hi Elizabeth--
It is very hard to separate like that. I've always been fairly independent, but if I lived with a woman for any length of time, we became a unit, and supported each other in many ways that weren't so apparent until...we weren't together anymore. Then I'd find that I'd gone slack on taking care of myself. After a long marriage, this process has to be even more traumatic.

Now, I don't mean that you get lazy, neccesarily. But you don't have to work as hard as surviving and nurturing yourself if you're part of a couple. When I was part of a successful couple, I'd look at singles and think, "Gee, that's a tough life. There's no fall-back at all, no one to ever rely on but yourself."
Now I've been single for seven years, and I'm a fish in water. I'm used to it again. But the transition is always jarring.

But Elizabeth does need to be expressed. You can't go backwards, and you do have to explore the world that's opening up for you. My ex-girlfriend calls Anita "the other woman," and she's right. I do have a source of comfort there that I never had before, and Elizabeth can be a comfort for you at this time, too.
A

Gaven McLaren · Post by **Gaven McLaren** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:39 am

Let me also state I am sorry for the loss. I know it is not a death but in many ways you have to deal with a divorce in the same way. I hope that she is at least staying civil. I am a child of divorce so I know from that side how it feels. If the two side are not civil it will effect the children in many ways. Please remember that we are here as a support group for all crossdressing issues.

Now lets look at the positives,
1. Now you can dress at home(once you get your new place) any time and anyway you want.
2. You now have more closet space(and we all know how we need it).

I am sure there are more that you can think of being that you know your life better then anyone. Remember this is not an end but a new start.

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:22 am

Thanks Girls,

You put a smile on my face when I did not think you could. I just can't tell all of you, mostly because you know, what a great source of support all of my sisters here have been and continue to be. Before I was an island. Now I feel like I have a family again. See you all in a few days.
Love always,
Elizabeth

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 12:01 pm

Hi Elizabeth,

I am so sorry to hear aboiut your separation. What a terrible ordeal this must be for you.

Major life changes such as this one can be quite stressful and frightening indeed and can leave you to feel like you're all alone, but please don't forget that you're not alone. We're all here for you right here, and many of us have been through the same ordeal.

On a more positive note, it's wonderful that your friend has given you a place to stay until you find your own place. That is a true friend indeed. Plus, once you're on your own, Elizabeth can come forth any time she plaeases!

I would encourage you to consider moving here to NY as the nightlife is fantastic, but the economy here is so bad that people are actually moving OUT of state.

I will continue to keep you in my thoughts, hon... any time you want to PM me or send me an e mail, feel free. But don't worry about a thing. As frightening and stressul as this all my be right now, you'll be just fine.

*** hugs ***

Rebecca · Post by **Rebecca** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:40 pm

H Elizabeth,
Truly sorry to hear about your situation, with emotions running so high at the moment, go easy on yourself and take good care. We are all here, just cry out
LOOK AFTER YOURSELF !!
Rebecca xxx

Hayley · Post by **Hayley** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 1:42 am

Elizabeth,
It is sad to hear that you and your wife are parting company. Having had to go through a divorce myself and only get to see my children once a year, due to the distance between them and I, I know how you feel. The only advice I can offer, should you wish to use it, is to take it easy and don't blame it all on yourself.

If ever you need to talk let us girls know as we are all together here for each other through good, bad and just plain terrible.

Best of luck in this new journey, the road will be rocky for a while. But you will eventually find the smooth road.

My hopes and love to you.

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 3:42 am

Hi Elizebeth ,
I think everyone else has said it all , I'm sorry things have gone this way for you and wish you all the very best and hope to hear from you soon