We have an agenda?

[Virginia]

CJ, honey, your reference to the garden is beautiful! It is as the gift we are given as crossdressers. We tend it, develop it, grow within it, learn from it then the most important stage, we share it with everyone we come into contact with, i.e., the fruits of our labors! Wonderful anaology.
However, I must reiterate, I will wear my mini, I will go forth to do battle with public opinion and if public disagrees - they better smile when they say it!!
Love you girls,
Deborah

[Stef]

However, I must reiterate, I will wear my mini, I will go forth to do battle with public opinion and if public disagrees - they better smile when they say it!!

I'm with ya sis!

Hugs,
Stef

[CJ]

No argument here, gals!

Love,
CJ

[Beauty]

'Shrek 2' Tops 'Nemo' to Become No 1 Animated Film

[Loretta Ann]

Thanks CJ.

First off it takes a lot to offend me, far more than most people I know. And if I was offended I would not respond until that was taken care of. However I was not offended.

I acknowledge that I don't like to leave much room for a misunderstanding in circumstances such as these, and will be as clear and direct with my responses as I can.

If the mind is happy, not only the body but the whole world will be happy. So one must find out how to become happy oneself. Wanting to reform the world without discovering one's true self is like trying to cover the whole world with leather to avoid the pain of walking on stones and thorns. It is much simpler to wear shoes.

That is very nicely stated, and your Garden analogy is perfect.

Still, I find it difficult (not impossible, just difficult) to accept that, simply because intolerance has existed since the beginning of time, it should be allowed to do so until the end of time.

Is it just a matter of us allowing it to be that way until the end of time? Is that something we have control of? If you feel it is then I think you will have to come up with an alternative that others have not tried in the past? Other wise would we not just be repeating the same failed attempts of our fore fathers?

What little education that we are capable of providing, I feel is some what off set by the number of people who are leaving this planet every day who have accepted us. So at it's best education would need to be a life time occupation, just to maintain the present number of accepting people on this planet. Go figure.

My respect for you has not changed any as a result of this exchange.

Blessings to you CJ.

[Gaven McLaren]

If me wearing clothes designed for women is leading to the downfall of sociaty then I am glad to do my part. I wish that the rest of America would get out of the stigma created during the reign of Queen Victoria. It is much like the words under god in the Pledge of Alegence. I have no problem with them being in there because it does not state which god. Yes me and my wiccan ways.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Darlene,

I'm a Stoic (in the classical Greek sense); I've worked very hard these past few years to try to distinguish between those things that I can change and those over which I have no control. I think a large part of my mental well-being these days has to do with my resolve not to let myself be swayed by the latter (good examples of which are the weather and other people's opinions about who I am). Having said this, I find I can't include how we choose to relate to others among that set of things we cannot change. Moreover, I find it's a potentially dangerous thing to believe that human beings have no control over human behaviour. We speak of the beginning of time, but I think it's rather more the case that intolerance came into the world with the arrival of the early hominids, not with the Big Bang. Here, there are many who fall back on the concept of "human nature," an idea about as substantial as Freud's "Id," Jung's "Anima," or any of a myriad ways we invent in our quest to understand the mysterious mechanics of our own minds. To some, human nature makes of us thinking apes; to others, fallen angels; to yet others, the descendants of extra-terrestrials. Who knows who's right? Anyway, that's not the point, here. What I'm trying to say is that, regardless of our so-called "baser" instincts (territoriality, competitiveness, self-preservation, etc., etc.), our ability to think and to reason is a precious tool in our search for ways to better ourselves, both as individuals and as a species. It may be that intolerance is inextricably linked with, say, our seemingly "natural" drive to protect the "in" group (be it a family, a village, a nation, or an ethnic or political group, or what have you) by excluding all those who are "other." If so, then I agree: little can be done to change that and, perhaps, little should be done, lest we waste energy better spent elsewhere. Is it truly the case, though, that nothing can be done to avoid and (possibly only millenia hence) eradicate intolerance? Even American history in the last fifty years suggests that the answer is a resounding No! Where would Colin Powell be without Rosa Parks? Would we even be considering the possibility of granting full rights under the law to same sex couples--human beings like you and me--had Stonewall never happened? The examples are countless, Darlene. Intolerance is, indeed, in the world... but I don't think it's of the world.

Now, having said all this, I do believe it's true that it's not given to all (or, perhaps, not even to many) to have enough of the political activist in them to actually go out there and fight the good fight. It takes a certain kind of temperament to do that (I, for one, know that I lack that temperament--which I try to more than make up for in other ways). We need people like that, just as we need rugged individualists like yourself. All of us, without exception, give according to our abilities. I'm hoping that one ability we all share is that of realizing that intolerance will never, under any of its guises, benefit us.

You ask me, Darlene, if I can come up with an alternative that others have not tried in the past. No, I can't. But what's wrong with building upon what those others have started? Never has it been so true that, in this regard, we stand on the shoulders of giants. In my own case, and being who I am, I know this will consist in small, almost insignificant, steps--"educating" those closest to me, friends, colleagues, family, by no longer being afraid to show them who I really am. "Educating" the masses I'll leave to the likes of Eddie Izzard. If I seriously thought that my being open and honest about who I am had zero impact on the level of tolerance or intolerance of those in my immediate psychological surroundings, I'd give it up in a heartbeat. But I know that not to be true, in my own case. So, in my own way, I do what I can. Not only am I not giving up even one iota of my freedom by doing so, I am, in fact, increasing my freedom by becoming more truly who I am. I can only hope that, by extension, and over the course of time, I will have also played the part I could in the freedom that will be my sisters' in the future.

Love (and many blessings also),
CJ

[Anita]

Very nice post, CJ. I like your pointing out the stoical attitude you take. What can you realistically change, and how much energy should you put into changing it, even if you can? Those are the important questions.

Related to this: over the weekend I had a major shock. I've always had a high degree of what I'll call public integrity--I keep my promise, committments, and so forth, if they involve others.

But I saw that especially after say age 45, my personal integrity has been low. I've broken committments to myself, time and time again.

Why am I writing about this here? Because I saw that the introduction of Anita has been a correction of this. As Anita, right from the beginning I kept my committments to "her," and worked hard to make her life "work." Much harder than I'd worked on my male life!

I had begun to despair of changing my attitude about myself, before Anita came to awareness. I could never have imagined that solution until it actually presented itself. Anita serves more functions than just this one, of course. But she was a way to change what I felt couldn't be changed.

And any progress she makes eventually forces male me to match her in some way.
A

[Merinda]

Hi Merinda,

You stated that; My agenda is, I ask the " so called " normal community that we be accepted for who and what we are , I am not out to recruit or corrupt anyone.

I am confused Merinda. Please enlighten this fool? What would that give us...acceptance? Is it really necessary to put our fate in there hands? ,

Hi Darlene ,

sorry to take so long with getting back to you on this one , in this part of the world around 20 years ago there was a national sport called poofter bashing where gay men would be bashed in the street for no other reason than their sexuality .
Now in 2004 attitudes have changed to political correctness with gay people turning up on every television show and in all walks of life, the community now excepts them as part of our vast society .
They still have issues and there are still homophobic people around but they can walk life without the fear of years gone by .
Basically what I'm trying to say is , they have come this far in 20 years so what have they done to get here??

Answer :: through public exposure on television , most now see the gay community as no threat and as normal people with a different sexual desire .

NOW!
Who has heard of hetro/CD ?? hardly anyone in this country
Who knows how many hetrosexuals are CDs ?? same answer
Most people here believe that to CD you must be gay
This is what I mean by education , it wont fix everything but it will help

One more thing Darlene please stop refering to yourself as a fool , you are an intelligent young lady that has an opinion to express

[Beauty]

Beauty

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Merinda,

I don't have an issue with attempting to educate people to the fact that we are not gay, but I am not sure what that will give me that I don't already have?

The reference that I made to be being a fool was a substitute for D... ....D which was an issue here a few days ago.

Thanks for the compliment, Avatars can be deceiving, I am far from young, but enjoy dressing to look younger.

How nice of you to call me a lady though.