She doesn't want me to return to that withdrawn person I had become and neither do I. In fact that is what made me so panicky Sunday morning. I couldn't go back to my old life again. So far I haven't seen any sign of doing that.Since I shaved my body it's been so liberating. I never realized how much I hated my body hair. But there have been concerns about my new appearance. I work construction and don't like being uncomfortable so I knew I wouldn't be wearing long sleeves to work. I showed up at work Monday with short sleeves and have yet to get any comments or strange looks. Then there's swimming. Since that's my sole workout I knew I would have to appear at the pool with an obviously shaven body. Yesterday was workout day (I missed Monday because I was still recovering ). But I figured I had to do this so I just went. Once in my swimsuit I went to the outside pool where the place was packed. I set my towel down in a chair and dove in. WOW! I was like greased lightning! I had never swam so many laps so fast. Now I know why competing swimmers shave. And for me it serves two purposes. Another hurdle overcome.
Little by little I am finding the courage to overcome the fears that have kept me prisoner for so long. My relationship with my family is improving. My attitude is up and I see better things on the horizon. I know I will never allow myself to have body hair again. It was one of my jailers.
The past weekend has freed me from so many things that were bringing me down. Before I really didn't have much love for life. Now I'm just brimming with it. I am looking for ways to help educate the masses about what we are really all about. I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
Thank you all for helping me get where I am today. I'll stilll need you now and always. We are sisters from a very special family.
Love,
Julie
