Hi Gelinda,
The Southern Bells is a group that is all about getting out with friends in safe places. They have a site to look at its :
Http://www.southernbellesociety.com
and no you dont have to be from the South to join,, take a look at all the girls from all over on the map of members
Cindy
Question from an SO
Moderators: KimberlyS, Eileen (SO)
-
Cindy Barnes
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 145
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 5:17 pm
- Location: Atlanta, GA
- Contact:
-
Gelinda
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 441
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 8:31 pm
Thanks Cindy, I will look but I am a deep southern anyway. Redneck for the most part. I go to Atlanta once in a while also. Gee.
* * Email address not current as of 05-05-2009. Please contact SilverLady(SO) immediately! See http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... php?t=9237 for further information. Thank You!! * *
-
CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3562
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
- Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi all,
Mandy,
That's an interesting topic you brought up. I think a lot of it may have to do with someone's needs or desires for social contact. Not all CDs (nor all non-CDs) are gregarious. As Sharon pointed out, Shannon, for example, is a bit more of a homebody. I know that, in my own case, I've always been a bit of a loner. I consider myself a sociable person, though not necessarily a social one (to the great frustration of my party animal friends).
I've been out and about as Christina on several occasions (though not lately) and, although I've almost always found the experience enjoyable, I have no great desire to do so as often as I can. It's just not who I am.
Having said all this, one thing that has come to the fore in my case is my desire to no longer hide the fact that I'm a CD from my friends and colleagues. Many of them now know this about me and, in most cases, this knowledge has resulted in a deepening of our friendship. Many even express curiosity (I've got recent pix handy, of course, for those able to withstand the sight!
); others are simply fascinated. A very few want to hear none of it... which is fine by me.
As others here have said, I don't think it's necessarily the goal of all CDs to go out en femme; there are varying degrees of "the need to be seen" and various reasons why a sister might not want to "go public." These can range from high anxiety (CDing is supposed to be fun!) to a (real or perceived) inability to pass or even, as Gaven mentioned, because of a lack of material resources. However, I think something that all CDs probably look for at some point or other in their lives is the simple pleasure found in fellowship and "sisterhood." The sense of community that we get from forums such as this one (and, especially, this one) goes a long way to making us feel that we're not so far off the beaten track of "normal" human behaviour. Obviously, going out and sharing good times with others en femme also serves to fill this very real need, but it's definitely not the only possible path. I think there's no such thing as "what a CD does"; there's only "what a person, who happens to be a CD, does."
Again, Mandy, thanks for the topic. It's a great one.
Love,
CJ
Mandy,
That's an interesting topic you brought up. I think a lot of it may have to do with someone's needs or desires for social contact. Not all CDs (nor all non-CDs) are gregarious. As Sharon pointed out, Shannon, for example, is a bit more of a homebody. I know that, in my own case, I've always been a bit of a loner. I consider myself a sociable person, though not necessarily a social one (to the great frustration of my party animal friends).
I've been out and about as Christina on several occasions (though not lately) and, although I've almost always found the experience enjoyable, I have no great desire to do so as often as I can. It's just not who I am.
Having said all this, one thing that has come to the fore in my case is my desire to no longer hide the fact that I'm a CD from my friends and colleagues. Many of them now know this about me and, in most cases, this knowledge has resulted in a deepening of our friendship. Many even express curiosity (I've got recent pix handy, of course, for those able to withstand the sight!
); others are simply fascinated. A very few want to hear none of it... which is fine by me.As others here have said, I don't think it's necessarily the goal of all CDs to go out en femme; there are varying degrees of "the need to be seen" and various reasons why a sister might not want to "go public." These can range from high anxiety (CDing is supposed to be fun!) to a (real or perceived) inability to pass or even, as Gaven mentioned, because of a lack of material resources. However, I think something that all CDs probably look for at some point or other in their lives is the simple pleasure found in fellowship and "sisterhood." The sense of community that we get from forums such as this one (and, especially, this one) goes a long way to making us feel that we're not so far off the beaten track of "normal" human behaviour. Obviously, going out and sharing good times with others en femme also serves to fill this very real need, but it's definitely not the only possible path. I think there's no such thing as "what a CD does"; there's only "what a person, who happens to be a CD, does."
Again, Mandy, thanks for the topic. It's a great one.
Love,
CJ
-
Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Hi Sis,
WEll I guess what I am going to have to do is get in the car, drive up to Northern Virginia, kidnap (uh! Home Defense folks and FBI reading this, just kidding about the "kidnap thing.") kidnap Beauty and we will come up to BC and the three of us will blaze a trail across somewhere! If Cami and Stef and Cindy can do it so can we!!! Beauty and I both need a nice pair of jeans so we have one thing to shop for anyway.
Well its a thought??
Love ya,
Sis (Deborah), yes I know you know but some of the other girls may not know uh ....................... anyway! just another blond!
WEll I guess what I am going to have to do is get in the car, drive up to Northern Virginia, kidnap (uh! Home Defense folks and FBI reading this, just kidding about the "kidnap thing.") kidnap Beauty and we will come up to BC and the three of us will blaze a trail across somewhere! If Cami and Stef and Cindy can do it so can we!!! Beauty and I both need a nice pair of jeans so we have one thing to shop for anyway.
Well its a thought??
Love ya,
Sis (Deborah), yes I know you know but some of the other girls may not know uh ....................... anyway! just another blond!
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
-
Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
and that was a major achievement. 
-
Shirley(SO)
- Miss Silver Goddess
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2004 2:45 pm
- Location: Louisiana
Hello,
If the Cd want to dress at home in part or in full and stay there or go out it is their choice. However if their is a Spouse/ Partner and children involved their feelings need to be considered. The situation or location also needs to be considered.
Being a closet CD or stay at home CD does not mean that you have to ever go out in public. The fear of being outted at work is still a real fear for many. Some people have lost their job because of it including my husband. His new job does know about it and is so far accepting. He does not fully dress at work ( makeup, outerclothing; excetra). He was publically outted about 5 years ago.
My So feels more comfortable going out dressed with me. We go out to eat; go shopping; get together with friends; go to an Evengelical Luthern church; go to the movies and a lot of other things together. Somestimes he is only partualy dressed or not dressed La femme at all.
He went out dressed ( not trying to pass ) alone in our own neighborhood before I found out about the crossdressing. She still goes out alone sometimes ( certain doctor appointments ).
Shirley(SO )
If the Cd want to dress at home in part or in full and stay there or go out it is their choice. However if their is a Spouse/ Partner and children involved their feelings need to be considered. The situation or location also needs to be considered.
Being a closet CD or stay at home CD does not mean that you have to ever go out in public. The fear of being outted at work is still a real fear for many. Some people have lost their job because of it including my husband. His new job does know about it and is so far accepting. He does not fully dress at work ( makeup, outerclothing; excetra). He was publically outted about 5 years ago.
My So feels more comfortable going out dressed with me. We go out to eat; go shopping; get together with friends; go to an Evengelical Luthern church; go to the movies and a lot of other things together. Somestimes he is only partualy dressed or not dressed La femme at all.
He went out dressed ( not trying to pass ) alone in our own neighborhood before I found out about the crossdressing. She still goes out alone sometimes ( certain doctor appointments ).
Shirley(SO )
-
Kandy
- E-mail address not valid - Contact Admin
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 12:42 am
- Location: Live Oak, Florida
Re: going out dressed
Kandy wrote:That will never happen in my case.
I cant say that any more! went out dressed and was scared too death but surprizingly no one noticed me now quite comfortable going out.
-
Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3068
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 2:55 pm
- Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)
Hi Mandy--
You wrote in one post in this thread that you have always talked out things with your mom, your sisters, and friends, and this is one thing where you're not able to do that. You were saying that you appreciate having this forum as a place where you CAN talk about this.
If you're like me, it is not a good feeling to have something in your life that you can't talk about with the loved ones in your life. So I point out this aspect of it as a starting point for understanding. I came out as a CD at 50 because I couldn't stand the idea of suddenly having this ONE thing that I couldn't talk about.
I had never had any major secrets from the people close to me, which included family. I didn't want to start having a secret at 50.
Some of that feeling might go into wanting to go out. A man has been proud of his achievements and abilities all of his life, and suddenly there's one part of his life that is expected to always be hidden and shameful--that's very hard on him.
So for me, to go out was to make CDing match the other parts of my life where I did good things and achieved worthy goals. I have a strong desire for consistency in my life, and to hide CDing would not have been consistent with the way I'd lived the rest of my life.
You have always had the consistency of being able to talk to your mom and sisters--now you don't. This can be very painful. In the same way, your SO has always been able to be open about his abilities in every other area of life, but not this one (CDing.) For some of us, we just don't want that big gap any more. We want to be proud of ALL areas of our lives, not just selected ones.
I know it can sound strange to want to be proud of CDing, but I hope you can see how it ties in with wanting to share ALL the parts of your life with others. I think that's a strong desire in most of us, SOs and CDs alike.
Anita
You wrote in one post in this thread that you have always talked out things with your mom, your sisters, and friends, and this is one thing where you're not able to do that. You were saying that you appreciate having this forum as a place where you CAN talk about this.
If you're like me, it is not a good feeling to have something in your life that you can't talk about with the loved ones in your life. So I point out this aspect of it as a starting point for understanding. I came out as a CD at 50 because I couldn't stand the idea of suddenly having this ONE thing that I couldn't talk about.
I had never had any major secrets from the people close to me, which included family. I didn't want to start having a secret at 50.
Some of that feeling might go into wanting to go out. A man has been proud of his achievements and abilities all of his life, and suddenly there's one part of his life that is expected to always be hidden and shameful--that's very hard on him.
So for me, to go out was to make CDing match the other parts of my life where I did good things and achieved worthy goals. I have a strong desire for consistency in my life, and to hide CDing would not have been consistent with the way I'd lived the rest of my life.
You have always had the consistency of being able to talk to your mom and sisters--now you don't. This can be very painful. In the same way, your SO has always been able to be open about his abilities in every other area of life, but not this one (CDing.) For some of us, we just don't want that big gap any more. We want to be proud of ALL areas of our lives, not just selected ones.
I know it can sound strange to want to be proud of CDing, but I hope you can see how it ties in with wanting to share ALL the parts of your life with others. I think that's a strong desire in most of us, SOs and CDs alike.
Anita
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill