Trans gender sexual pleasure?

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Jun 27, 2004 6:48 pm

I am wondering if we can have a discussion about this topic and still keep it clean?

We are all aware that one can contact sexual related diseases.

And while I am capable of accepting all types of tans-gender people, I do have some questions.

Does the sexual activity that some of us participate in hurt other people?

Is watching pornography all right based on the assumption that those providing the pictures are doing so willingly, and therefore are not hurting anyone?

Is achieving sexual pleasure of any kind alright as long as it hurts no one?

What do you all think about this?

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Sun Jun 27, 2004 8:11 pm

The answers to your first three questions, in my view, are NO, YES, qualified YES in that order.

The answer the the fourth question is, in my opinion, any sexual activity engaged in by consenting adults in the privacy of their own home or legally rented hotel/motel room is perfectly fine. The only qualification for question 3 is that adults are involved and not minors. But I think that was probably assumed anyway.

Anyone who does not engage in safe sex deserves what they get (sorry if I sound a bit cold on that but it is my opinion). Anyone who is a carrier of any kind of STD and does not disclose such to his/her partner is, in my opinion, guilty of assault at the very least.

Tea Cake · Post by **Tea Cake** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 2:38 am

Darlene, I am needing to stick to my own experience here.

I'm hoping you'll forgive me for not answering your specific questions.

---I feel challenged about this subject.(thanks for that by the way)

The Sensuality of CDing is a ghost that lives inside me.
A beautiful ghost that is shy too. My ally she is mostly---we joined up AT the begining--of it all--a lifetime ago--through relationships--good and bad and through periods of solitude as well---this ghost has helped me understand the beauty of our bodies---and the power of our visual-emotional connections.
-- and keeping sensuality--a channel to it-- alive in me when I've no lover.

This ghost--however gentle and beautiful-- has haunted me some as well. --and frightened off other kinds of sensuality that might have welled up from inside me---because its so familiar...and so endless to explore.

The sexuality of my CDing is a shy-ghost. That's the best I can do Darlene.

I think I might be afraid of ghosts.
But I know this one so well its okay for now.
--

------------

8-

Tea-cake

CJ · Post by CJ » Mon Jun 28, 2004 5:29 am

Hi all,

Again, Tea-Cake, you speak to the soul. Thanks for your beautiful words (and for just being who you are).

Darlene,

I think there's not much I can say, except to say what I've always believed, and that's that sex, in all its forms and in all its expressions, is a beautiful thing, a good thing, so long as:

-- it doesn't involve children
-- it's consensual (explicitly consensual, I might add)
-- we're aware and informed about its potential risks and behave accordingly

Really, there are only two instances in our lives where we have the opportunity to "lose ourselves," to take a break from who we are, on the surface; one is during a "peak experience" (whether it be a religious or a secular one) and the other is during a sexual encounter with a loving partner. Those moments are very precious; they renew and refresh us.

Love,
CJ

Hayley · Post by **Hayley** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 5:33 am

Please remember these are my personal opinions and feelings on the subject raised, and for that I make no apology. This is not a personal crusade and not meant to upset anyone directly, nor indirectly.

Darlene,

I can honestly say this is one of the most intriguing subjects for all of us. Especially in today's society where sexual preferences are generally no longer considered a main stream subject. Thanks to the constant struggle for GLBT rights. To which I personally thank all of our GLBT Brothers and Sisters.

Also I must agree, without reservation, to Kathy's comments about STD's and about minors. My opinion of undisclosed STD's is that the carrier should be charged with Sexual Assault, and dependant upon the severity (read - threat to life) of the disease (Hepatitis C, HIV, AIDS etc), then possibly Manslaughter or Murder. My opinion of those who partake in sexual pleasure with minor's........my disgust and outrage as a (IMHO) decent, hardworking, caring, honest, and protective parent and human being should be comment enough. (Hey I didn't say I wasn't gonna jump up on my soap box!)

1. In answer to your first question I feel a 'YES" is appropriate. Most of the Girls, Guys, GB's and GG's here can keep this subject quite clean.

2. In my own opinion 'YES', ones sexual activities can hurt others in a mental/emotional sense. Especially if one is in a committed relationship that is expected to be monogomous. Should one step outside those boundaries and be 'caught' (for a better choice of word), then the hurt is visited upon one's permanent partner. But however, should one be in an alternative (non-monogomous) relationship then the answer is 'NO'. If the ground rules allow dating or sexual contact outside the union then surely it is of no consequence so long as safe-sex is strictly adhered to.

3. Watching pornography is not officially a crime, so long as it does not involve a. Children, b. non-consensual c. public screening in an unlicensed property etc. There are a myriad of professional movies that cater to all sorts of fetishes/desires that may seem immoral from one's own stand point, but they are not illegal. So therefore, my answer would be a tentative 'NO'. I still have my misgivings towards the pornography industry, especially if it of an amateur nature that is freely distributed outside the official guidelines and guidance of the genuine porn industry, and without the consent of the participants.

4. So long as the pleasure given and received is absolute in it's mutual consenst. If it is something both of the participating persons enjoy, and, does not impede any boundaries that may align to answer number two. Nor is it an illegal activity as per those examples in answer number three, then 'YES' go right ahead and enjoy what is being offered.

5. What do I personally think about sexuality per se. Well I think my above answers pretty much some up my feelings, to a certain degree. As a self imposed non-practicing bisexual member of our community (due to my commitment to my wedding vows) I find it hard not to think of sharing myself with another partner from time to time. However, I, myself, am the only one who can choose to seek the pleasure of another, outside of my marriage. And I choose not to do so because of my commitment to my wife, our mutual trust in one another is too precious and would be too difficult to regain (or re-earn) should I break my vows. My wife is not the sort of person who could live in an alternative marital arrangement. However, if I was in a situation were I had a partner/spouse who was of an alternative relationships persuasion, my view to seeking extra-marital pleasure may possibly be different.

It is difficult to know one's own feelings properly, and with deep insight, until confronted with a particular situation. Once confronted with a particular circumstance then one may possibly be able to make an informed judgement.

As I said at the beginning of my response, a very intriguing subject that I would very much like to hear of other's personal views.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 11:07 pm

Short reply: I agree with Kathy!
Love,
Deborah

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 11:29 pm

Hello all,

Thank you for your replies, What I need help with is the HIV issue.
I think it is sort of understood that Gay and Lesbion's sexual activity in some way makes them more vulnerable to obtaining the Aids virus. And I find it a struggle to accept that part of it.

CJ · Post by CJ » Tue Jun 29, 2004 1:06 am

Hi all,

Darlene,

I think your struggle to accept "that part of it" is wholly justified. That HIV/AIDS is more of a concern to the homosexual community is one of the most death-dealing myths surrounding this terrible disease. Aside from those people who refrain from any sexual activity whatsoever, no one is immune to this illness.

Promiscuity--if that's the Gay and Lesbian sexual "activity" you're referring to--can be found in equal measure in both the gay and straight worlds. If, on the other hand, you're referring to actual sexual practices, there's nothing gays and lesbians do, that heterosexuals of either sex cannot do with as much verve and enthusiasm. And this would include having safe sex.

Love,
CJ

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Tue Jun 29, 2004 5:12 am

Hi you all,

Am I wrong in believing that more gay people come down with Aids than other people?

I have not heard of any female prostitutes acquiring aids?

CJ · Post by CJ » Tue Jun 29, 2004 7:26 am

Hi all,

Darlene,

I guess it's just not as "black-and-white" an issue as we sometimes make it out to be. Here are the facts:

http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/aidsstat.htm

Love,
CJ

Post by **Celia** » Tue Jun 29, 2004 6:44 pm

I'd be surprised if it were the case that no transfolk engaged in sexual activity that was harmful. We're not angels merely because we occasionally try to dress like them.

Regarding the other questions, if indeed we do no harm, what could be the basis for a complaint?

-Celia

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Tue Jun 29, 2004 7:48 pm

No, yes and yes.

regarding the HIV question, I believe that is propaganda still lingering around from the reagan adminstration. HIV is not discrimatory and anyone can get the HIV virus. Gays were a conveient scapegoat they pointed to while hetrosexuals were dying as well.

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Wed Jun 30, 2004 7:56 am

Doesn't it just boil down to the fact that having unprotected sex with strangers of any gender or sexual preference is dangerous and downright stupid?

Kersten Lee · Post by **Kersten Lee** » Wed Jun 30, 2004 6:42 pm

Hi,
Where I have worked forever and the right conservatives that dominate
this town, still believe the Reagan doctrine. The queers are sinners and
will go to hell anyway and aids is God's judgement on them. We and the
Govt. should do nothing to contain or cure the epidemic. They believe the
same about Africa and the rest of the World.

Believe me I have never believed such tripe. I am a Christian but not
of their type. Reagan did soften his views in later administration years.

Kersten

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Wed Jun 30, 2004 8:48 pm

. . . AFTER reagan left office he did mention he "learned" a few things about AIDS . . . too bad the reagan admin members like Pat Buchanan and the like are still around pushing the same anti-gay hatred.