Wow! Wow! Wow! What depth! intelligent insight! thought provoking! So much to absorb, to study, to consider, to think about. I am actually thinking of taking all this, going out on my boat for a couple of days and just sitting there reading out loud to myself all this wonderful heartfelt "love and understanding?" It is really beautiful, girls you can all be proud of yourselves. You know, if you observe the universe that we have created here and the efforts that all of you have made to tend it and make it what it is - talk about loving yourself, in order to love others - if that is not the major expression here it will never be expressed.
I must comment on one thing that struck me (most of what you all have said struck me) but this , and I apologize to whomever wrote it as I have not gone back yet to give you proper credit, but anyway - "that we may be ahead of our time?!" Sure there have been CD'ers in the past, some, actual pioneers and "the pioneers take the arrows," but what if we really are the explorers of what is to come??? Not necessarily the actual dressing, but the psychological development of the species into (well I am at a loss for words) but both male and female modes of thinking, reacting, living.learning, loving? You can see the numbers of those who not only post but join here and the many other websites - "we are not alone." There hs to be something to this! And to think how many "closet CD'ers are still out there hwoare not aware of "us." That live in fear of "getting caught." I am begining to think that 8% - 10% of the population is maybe a bit low? And to furthur brag on my sisters, the intelligence behind these posts - Girls! we ain't no dummies who do this!
I love you all - now this blond has another headache,
Love, love, love,
Deborah
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
Anita wrote:This has bothered me about CDing almost from the beginning. The only people who feel the same intensity about this are other CDs, and sometimes trangender female-to-male men. It's a short list.
I saw the same thing with my guitar playing over the years. I certainly wasn't a rock star, but I was getting paid for duplicating whatever rock star was popular at the time. No matter how gifted my musician girlfriends might have been, they couldn't join me at what I was doing. Even now, there aren't that many women doing hard rock and metal.
OK, so you play rock and metal. The lady sings the blues. Does she not achieve the same intensity of feeling from her perfoming as you? Do you not, in listening to her, share in her "gift" as she shares yours in listening to you?
Perhaps we get a bit too caught up in our own "gifts". Perhaps we should open our eyes and minds and hearts a bit wider to see, understand and feel the gifts that our SOs have to bestow upon us. Perhaps they are equal to us but in different ways? Is it really necessary for us to recieve the same as what we give? Or can we truely share in each other's lives by giving freely of ourselves that which each of us uniquely has to give?
Whatever you accomplish in life is a manifestation not so much of what you do, as of what you believe deeply within yourself that you deserve. - Les Brown
Hi Kathy--
It was exactly like that. My last girlfriend did sing R&B and blues with intensity, and I loved wtat she did. She loved what I did. We would get up stages and do songs where we could both express our selves very well togeter.
It was a meeting in the middle, so to speak, and a lot of good came from it. I could back her in her music on guitar; say, "Born Under a Bad Sign," "Dear Prudence," or "Cinnamon Girl". I could sing along on harmonies, and people really enjoyed it.
But she couldn't return the favor in a hard rock band doing Led Zep and Thin Lizzy. Her guitar skills and vocal intensity didn't work there, and Lord knows we tried to make it work. It's a different kind of intensity. She might have fit in by snging "Barracuda," by Heart, or "Heartbrealer" by Pat Benatar, but her skills didn't translate into being able to pull that off. She didn't "feel" those songs, and she needed to operate off feeling; her heart needed to be into that, and it wasn't there.
So there was a separation that caused, and we lived with it for four years.
It wasn't what broke us up, but it was related to this. Music is highly emotional, much llike CDing can be. It upset her to see the ease and comfort I felt playing with my "own kind," but she also supported it. And I tried to make sure to connect with her as much as I could while I was enjoying the "other world" that I was working in. I guess I'd have to say that the higher the emotional intensity of a couple's life, the better it is if they can share those areas that are the most emotional. This ties into Darlene feeling that SOs can only go into to "our world" up to a point.
She and I are now trying to deal with CDing, (as friends.) I've not been Anita around her, but we're both seeing that I'm not "all thare" for her as a friend when we can't talk about Anita. She can understand that, and at the same time is not happy wth it.
In return, she has an on-off boyfriend that even she says is not good for her. I've stopped wanting to talk about him, but that has also created a blank where our friendsip doesn't work. We're both seeing that if we try to ignore important people in our lives--"Joe" for her, "Anita" for me--we're just not going to be fully there for each other. We're good enough friends that we want to work on this, but I can imagine how hard it would have been for us as a couple.
Anita
