Feelings when dressed

[Myra]

Hi all,

I did some searching and could not find my particular issue. If the subject has been addressed, please point me to the correct link.

Here goes:

When I am dressed as Myra (and remember that I'm relatively new to this), I tend to leave my male persona totally behind. I find that I am more of a friend with my SO rather than a mate. It feels like the male part of me takes a sort of mini vacation.

She is extremely understanding but we're both trying to figure this one out and adjust to it.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Blessings,
Myra

[Stef]

Hi Myra!

My ex and I discovered the same thing about myself. While dressed I was so much more attentive and could simply listen to what she had to say. She came up with an interesting theory which I feel has some truth to it. (at least some truth concearning me)

She said that when enfemme my true personality is showing through, not the personality that society expected me to have and I in turn developed. Everyone who knows both sides of me say that I'm so much more relaxed and happier with myself while dressed and that shines in the gentleness of my personality.

There was my 2 cents worth.

HUGS!
Stef

[Rebecca]

Hi girls,

Very interesting topic. I could talk for hours on this one. I find it hard to find the words to describe the feeling. My whole personality is bent towards music, art, and generally being creative, and when I don't feel worn out by the dryness of life, societies pressures etc, my creative side comes out. I don't need to be happy, just to have the space in my head. It's times like these that I'm more likely to want to dress (the song turns from major to minor).
So to answer your question, I feel gentle, aware, calm, as though the hidden delicate feeling, that elusive sensitivity that I yearn for so much begins to shine. My movements become fluid, and around these times, life is so much richer.
I'll stop there, as I'm beginning to ramble on

All best wishes
Rebecca xxx

[Kathy]

Hi All,

I guess I'm one of those rare individuals. I have all those feelings regardless of what I'm wearing. And, I guess I've been that way for so long that I just took it for granted. It wasn't until I joined this forum, where all you gals forced me to think hard about such things that I came to that realization.

I believe, having those feelings readily available at all times is what got me through the difficulties of the last few years.

Myra, I guess the answer to the question you asked in the "What we do for a living" thread is that, I have grown to know myself.

[Loretta Ann]

Myra,

I fit closer to way way Kathy has described. I am more like one person.

[Myra]

Thanks for the replies.

I guess that I'll try to stop being so concerned about the male vs. female roles right now. As I continue to learn about myself I will nodobt merge with them, if that is not too geeky of a concept.

The issues I had were more dealing with intimacy (as FairlyFly posted in the "Sex and the CD" topic in Do you know how I feel). Sometimes it seems that she is accepting me for who I am better than I'm accepting myself.

Blessings,

Myra

[Myra]

Thanks for the replies.

I guess that I'll try to stop being so concerned about the male vs. female roles right now. As I continue to learn about myself I will nodobt merge with them, if that is not too geeky of a concept.

The issues I had were more dealing with intimacy (as FairlyFly posted in the "Sex and the CD" topic in Do you know how I feel). Sometimes it seems that she is accepting me for who I am better than I'm accepting myself.

Blessings,

Myra

[Elizabeth]

Hi Myra,

I for sure feel different. I get this incredible feeling of well being. It is so calming. Having said that, I have never interacted with anyone dressed, so I don't know if i am different, but I assume I am. Just coming here, I feel myself transform into Elizabeth. especially if I am alone.

Elizabeth is the whole me, and my male identity is just a part and mostly a part I made up. I don't feel the need to prove my manhood, because quite frankly I just don't feel it, I never have. Even though I am a big strong man, I am still easily intimidated, and afraid of figthiing. I have never driven a car over 95 mph because it scares me. I am afraid of guns, and horses, and dogs. I am good at no sport. My male identity is totally made up, because i quite frankly don't know how to be a man becauase i don't feel the things most men apparently feel.

So for me being Elizabeth is who I really want to be, and I know that this is what is going to make me happy. That doesn't mean i need to be dressed 24/7 to be Elizabeth. To find out what Elizabeth needs to be Elizabeth all the time. Being dressed just makes it a lot easier.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Rebecca]

Hi girls,

Myra,

Sex is quite low on the agenda for me recently, well at least in comparison to my usual 'always ready' mode. I can understand your feelings regarding the bedroom, I have so much I'm trying to sort out in my head, just being able to bond is what I need at this time. ( I don't think Rebecca has reached puberty yet ).

Elizabeth,

I can relate to a lot of what you say, the only thing that can happen driving 95mph is that you die. Being a bloke is practical and that's that. I just wish I didn't have to be so practical.
Iv'e heard it said ... "I'm a writer, not a fighter"

Love and best wishes to you both
Rebecca xxx

[Virginia]

Myra,
As you grow within this Magical Mystery Tour, according to Carl Jung, you will do one of two things, you will either merger the two personna or Myra will parallel your male personna and you can call on her or merge with her almost at will. Dressing just heightens the feelings. Jung's "concern" is with the merging aspect as initially you will have a choice of either controlling Myra or allowing Myra to take over. If you allow her to take over and there is nothing wrong with that, it is simply the road you have chosen then you can become a 24/7 and could lead to SRS. Its kinda like a chess game and as long as you have a move you have options. I would recommend that if you are unsure, read and study and if your sisters here can walk with you - here we be!!!
Love.
Deborah

[Jessie]

I was reading threw the post and a thought came to me about something I came across many years ago. It is something like this. The clothes make the man. So maybe some clothing disguishes us to that role in life. But I have seen and read about mothers who had raised there son alone and a way to make them more subservant or less rambuckish is to have them wear a dress or other girly clothing. Now this may not apley to any of us but I thought it is intersting how clothing can make you act.

Jessie

[Brianne]

My feelings while dressed are I guess a feeling of completion. As my femme side comes through in my daily life no matter what mode im in. Having come out to my wife I no longer have to fake the male bravado that i do to overcompensate my feminine side. As ive gotton old I tend to care less what people think and say its me and that what you get so I sit like a girl..... In a way I guess I now feel confident enough in my maleness to be able to show my femme side. But when it comes to shoes Im pure female... cant pass up shoes

[Ahzz]

The dual personality is a side effect of our desire to hide our true nature that society tells us is wrong and disturbed. 8-P

Think of it this way, here you are, having emotions, feelings and whatnot that are completely out of line with what society says is normal for a male. So you end up doing the one thing that you can in order to let them out. You cross dress. By releasing these personality traits only when dressed you have conditioned yourself to supress them when you aren't dressed. I mean, who wants to accidently be identified as being "gay" or a "homo" (sorry if anyone finds that word offensive, attempting to describe this from an outsider's viewpoint)? People would then start to wonder and poke around and discover that you dress up in women's clothing! So we overly supress those feelings/emotions/habits that would identify us as being feminine.

There is one problem with this kind of supression. When you DO let these things out into the sunlight, they come out en-force. Far more prominant than the would if normally released all of the time. Couple this with the subconscious need to supress them when in "male mode" and you end up with 2 rather distinct personalities.

So why is it that you have no real control over these 2 personalities? Why is it hard to just revert to a blend of both onceyou are out of the closet so to speak? Well, we humans are creatures of habit. I was watching a show from the BBC the other week about the human brain. In the show they made a strong case that any activity that is done on a regular basis gets recorded into a section at the rear-base of our brain that acts as a sort of auto-pilot. Now after years of manually supressing, and releasing certain personality traits, that auto-pilot portion of our brain is now doing it automagically for us, even though we don't need to hide things anymore.

So yoiu see, the dual personality is literally self-mental training that has formed hard to break habits. I myself still find that part of me attempting to override my actions once in a while. The longer I have been open to my wife, the less and less the supressions try to kick in. At the start I had to mentally force myself to keep guard on whether I was supressing certain traits. Now, months (year+) later, i've almost gotten that part of me retrained. I still have to get myself retrained to stop supressing things when in public. I haven't had much of any opportunities to go out over the last year due to my self employment and work load. So we shall see hwo long it takes me to break those versions of my supression habits.

My advice is this. Wehter you are in male mode, or in female mode, watch how your emotions and personality traits are happening. Try to act a little more like your female side when wearing clothes. Voice patterns, the way you walk, the way you carry yourself, etc. When in female mode, do the inverse, try to supress desires to be overly feminine.

Mind you, this isn't a permanent ritual to do. It is only a short term self-therapy to break your automatic supression and release of your female side. Once it's broken, your personality SHOULD in theory begin to balance out if you are in a warm and safe environment. Part of this release is also dressing part way. If you are worn out and want to get cmfortable, try just tossing on a cheap comfortable dress like I do. (a nice soft light brown full dress of jassmine's that I just LOVE to wear when worn out. It's VERY relaxing. ) bUt don't go for makeup. Don't go for wigs. Don't use anything that is primarilly for hiding your male traits. Your SO may find it odd seeing you with a bunch of facial hair and man's haircut while wearing a dress. *giggle* but don't worry about it. It's just you and your SO at home, so who caresa bout how you look to the public.

As for the SO's, you can help here too. You can attempt to draw out the femle personality traits when he is in male mode. A good example would be if you see an outfit he would look great in, say somethign about it. Pay attention to and support the female traits that try to emerge when he's dressed in male mode. When in female mode, do the same with the male traits.

The end goal here is to break those trained methods and reactions by enforcing a balance of both personalities. Once broken part way, the two sides shoudl then begin to merge into the true personality. We shouldn't have to have two different personalities depending on our clothing. Being more manly at times, or more womanly at times is fine, just don't go overboard in either direction.

I hope this helps everyone that is having the dual personality issues. This is my own experience and methodology to break my old habits, so I won't say it will work for everyone, after all, we are all unique and different.

If anyone wants personal input on how to break habits like these, feel free to drop me a note, or post a thread.

[Brianne]

well when im dressed I do feel like my true self is complete. I think my femme side has always dominated me even in my male roles.. So often i heard from GGs but your more like a best friend than a boyfriend. My wife fell in love with the soft gentle side of myself which I consider my femme side. What other feeling I have in my femme side? im not going to deny this. My femme side is a very sexual person too, as some who know me have found out. Ive found many dont want to accept this side of ourselves but for me dressing has always been sexual, and I do enjoy it. To have been able to share this with my wife has been a true blessing. When my life is on a down swing dressing seem to be able to ground me and help make life more bearable.

[Leila]

hi girls, The feeling when I get when I dress is not sexual but emotional.
I feel happy and whole.there were times I too try to denied it ,but lately I been happy dressing and expressing myself and it feel great