Hmmmmm. Great post, Hayley! Thanks for sharing that!
Much food for thought (tasty, too!).Love,
CJ
Can this be? What happened to my best friend?
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
Re: Special thanks for your support.
You're welcome Vicki!VickiCD wrote:I truly appreciate all of your support and openness regarding this matter.
Yet, I still feel this un-easiness about his decision. If by chance it works out for him (I'll be very happy!), I'll be there to support him all the way. But, Steve being my long-term and special friend and knowing him all to well. I don't want to see him suffer or make a critical mistake or decision that will leave an emotional scare that he must live with, for the rest of his life.
Thanks again Ladies for your undying support.
Love
VickiCD
(P.S. Back to bed to acquire more zzzz'z.)
At least we know you don't need any more beauty sleep.
You're already super pretty! 
Beauty
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Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3068
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 2:55 pm
- Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)
Hi All--
I feel the same way as Steve and Darlene do about this. After I left my last relationship, at 46, I finally saw that I had a limit on how much I could do in this life, and I accepted that I could not "have it all."
But I then wondered, well, what kind of relationship am I going to be able to have? And the answer was the emergence of a femme self. This was NOT any kind of answer I was expecting--I didn't even know any of us existed. My CDing years were teen only, and I never thought about adult CDs.
I do balance out myself, but I also give out more compassion and nurturing as Anita. By giving out my best version of a woman, I get that back for myself.
I think people like myself are a minority of CDs. I also think that something like this fits better into a category of transgender that's more than CD, but not transsexual. An article that CJ posted here refers to it as being a "trangenderist." It does not mean that I isolate myself. But I'm a lot happier around women, because I no longer need them to express all of the feminine--I have my own version.
I can give that to others, both men and women, and I see that they respond to it positively much of the time. I'm not trying to have long-term relationships with them, though, and I can see that that could be much more difficult. But, hey, for just socializing it can work very well. And I trade massage with other people who are interested in touching and being touched, because that's something a single person can't get without some extra effort.
To me, it's no different than my learning to play guitar. Before I knew how, I had to rely on concerts and CDs to hear music I loved. Then I learned how to do it for myself. Now, I still go to concerts, but I also give out what I loved so much myself. I felt more balanced when I learned how to do it for myself! We're not used to people saying that about gender, but I think the analogy holds true.
It helps to be older. I've had a full life, with many good relationships. For me, this new balance (four years) is a wonderful thing, and I may do it for quite a while longer.
Anita
I feel the same way as Steve and Darlene do about this. After I left my last relationship, at 46, I finally saw that I had a limit on how much I could do in this life, and I accepted that I could not "have it all."
But I then wondered, well, what kind of relationship am I going to be able to have? And the answer was the emergence of a femme self. This was NOT any kind of answer I was expecting--I didn't even know any of us existed. My CDing years were teen only, and I never thought about adult CDs.
I do balance out myself, but I also give out more compassion and nurturing as Anita. By giving out my best version of a woman, I get that back for myself.
I think people like myself are a minority of CDs. I also think that something like this fits better into a category of transgender that's more than CD, but not transsexual. An article that CJ posted here refers to it as being a "trangenderist." It does not mean that I isolate myself. But I'm a lot happier around women, because I no longer need them to express all of the feminine--I have my own version.
I can give that to others, both men and women, and I see that they respond to it positively much of the time. I'm not trying to have long-term relationships with them, though, and I can see that that could be much more difficult. But, hey, for just socializing it can work very well. And I trade massage with other people who are interested in touching and being touched, because that's something a single person can't get without some extra effort.
To me, it's no different than my learning to play guitar. Before I knew how, I had to rely on concerts and CDs to hear music I loved. Then I learned how to do it for myself. Now, I still go to concerts, but I also give out what I loved so much myself. I felt more balanced when I learned how to do it for myself! We're not used to people saying that about gender, but I think the analogy holds true.
It helps to be older. I've had a full life, with many good relationships. For me, this new balance (four years) is a wonderful thing, and I may do it for quite a while longer.
Anita
Last edited by Anita on Tue Jul 13, 2004 12:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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VickiCD
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 12:05 pm
- Location: Toronto, Canada
- Contact:
Complete?
Hi All.
As always, you have all been wonderful in offering your support.
Steve and I had the opportunity to spend the weekend together, and even though his view hasn't changed. We both agreed that he will take things one step at a time, that is the best I can hope for now.
Thank you sisters.
Love
Vicki
As always, you have all been wonderful in offering your support.
Steve and I had the opportunity to spend the weekend together, and even though his view hasn't changed. We both agreed that he will take things one step at a time, that is the best I can hope for now.
Thank you sisters.
Love
Vicki