Hello everyone,
This is something Iv'e been thinking about for a while. It's sort of come up on another thread, so I thought I'd ask the question.
It started when I came across the term SO, and then it spread to GG, and eventually to CD, TS, TV, TG etc, etc.
~D~ my partner is obviously very important to me, and to call her SO seems a bit cold and informal. Bit by bit, I realized that we all have these two-letter titles and they all come across as being a bit clinical.
So, the question is, if ANY of us had the oppertunity, would we rather be known by a more creative term ?
Any thoughts on this would be appreciated
Love to all
Rebecca and ~D~
xxx
Do you like your label ?
Moderators: KimberlyS, Eileen (SO)
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Rebecca
- Miss Platinum Goddess
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- Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2004 5:16 am
- Location: North-East England
Do you like your label ?
Be good, Be safe, Be happy.
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
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- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
Hi Rebecca,
Being as I have had to get to a place where I am not concerned with what others think of me due the reality that ?I am a cross-dresser, it matters not to me. The only reason for me to entertain the use of a label, is to better understand how I fit into this vast mixture of trans what ever we are kind of people, and how they fit in with who I am. And then determine what part of them I am a part of.
I don't need to like a label given to me by someone else. what is important to me is the label I give myself.
Being as I have had to get to a place where I am not concerned with what others think of me due the reality that ?I am a cross-dresser, it matters not to me. The only reason for me to entertain the use of a label, is to better understand how I fit into this vast mixture of trans what ever we are kind of people, and how they fit in with who I am. And then determine what part of them I am a part of.
I don't need to like a label given to me by someone else. what is important to me is the label I give myself.
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Kathy
- Miss Platinum Goddess
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- Contact:
Labels identify a recipient's address on a package...
Labels identify the contents of a jar on a supermarket shelf...
Labels give medical professionals some idea of appropriate treatment...
How you refer to the person who shares your life is whatever your heart tells you is appropriate.
Labels identify the contents of a jar on a supermarket shelf...
Labels give medical professionals some idea of appropriate treatment...
How you refer to the person who shares your life is whatever your heart tells you is appropriate.
Whatever you accomplish in life is a manifestation not so much of what you do, as of what you believe deeply within yourself that you deserve. - Les Brown
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Curly(SO)
- Miss Golden Goddess
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- Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2003 5:08 am
- Location: UK
I don't particularly like SO, I don't use it outside this forum, but it serves a purpose here as it makes it easy for members of the forum to identify who is who.
I actually don't like the term Mrs, or husband, or wife, but I'm stuck with them as it is part of my native language!
Not a big fan of labels really, apart from the ones we choose ourselves, but as I said, they serve a purpose, so I'm happy to be SO here
Curly(SO)
I actually don't like the term Mrs, or husband, or wife, but I'm stuck with them as it is part of my native language!
Not a big fan of labels really, apart from the ones we choose ourselves, but as I said, they serve a purpose, so I'm happy to be SO here
Curly(SO)
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Rebecca
- Miss Platinum Goddess
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- Location: North-East England
Hi Curly,
It was the term SO that got me started on this. I notice your'e from the UK so youv'e probably seen Del Boy refer to Raquel as His SO (if youv'e never seen it, it's a sitcom where the lovable rogue is infuriating his partner by trying to be a 'modern man'). We are all of equal importance here, and the term 'significant other' sounds a bit like ' second in command'.
As everyone has said, it fulfills a purpose, and we all know we are important to ourselves and each other, so I'm just fussing needlessly, I suppose
Love
Rebecca xxx
It was the term SO that got me started on this. I notice your'e from the UK so youv'e probably seen Del Boy refer to Raquel as His SO (if youv'e never seen it, it's a sitcom where the lovable rogue is infuriating his partner by trying to be a 'modern man'). We are all of equal importance here, and the term 'significant other' sounds a bit like ' second in command'.
As everyone has said, it fulfills a purpose, and we all know we are important to ourselves and each other, so I'm just fussing needlessly, I suppose
Love
Rebecca xxx
Be good, Be safe, Be happy.
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Kersten Lee
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 386
- Joined: Sun Feb 29, 2004 10:05 am
- Location: Central Nebraska
Rebecca,
I used to feel like you. SO felt to me to be a bit impersonal. I got used to it being used here, similar to using "my better half". Intent means everything to me. I don't think I remember anyone using the term disrespectfully. Maybe because I was called so many bad names by my parents all my young years, that if I were called SO it wouldn't bother me at all. I think that treatment is why I have an impossible time remembering names or titles.
I think now I shouldn't have responded. My input isn't valid because of my background.
I was called the boy by my father when he was with other men. I have called my wife, my wife to others instead of using her name. I never thought twice about it until I tried to repair the damage between us.
After a year I still have to think to call her by name. It still has not become automatic and natural and comfortable for me to afford my wife that respect. I am not an Angel.
Rebecca, I appologize for not following topic. I still free associate and wander.
Kersten
I used to feel like you. SO felt to me to be a bit impersonal. I got used to it being used here, similar to using "my better half". Intent means everything to me. I don't think I remember anyone using the term disrespectfully. Maybe because I was called so many bad names by my parents all my young years, that if I were called SO it wouldn't bother me at all. I think that treatment is why I have an impossible time remembering names or titles.
I think now I shouldn't have responded. My input isn't valid because of my background.
I was called the boy by my father when he was with other men. I have called my wife, my wife to others instead of using her name. I never thought twice about it until I tried to repair the damage between us.
After a year I still have to think to call her by name. It still has not become automatic and natural and comfortable for me to afford my wife that respect. I am not an Angel.
Rebecca, I appologize for not following topic. I still free associate and wander.
Kersten
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
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- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
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Marda
- Miss Golden Goddess
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- Location: Vancouver Canada
*NOT FOR INTERNAL USE*
Hi Ladies
Kathy's and Curly's points connect with my thoughts
"Political Correctness" and I do *not* enjoy a positive relationship - I almost spit my breakfast one day last year when a therapist in a group program I attended referred to her husband as her "spouse".
Here in the valley we're cool with "squeeze"; but *spouse* :-(((
More LOVE PLEASE More LOVE PLEASE More LOVE PLEASE More LOVE PLEASE
Love / Marda
Kathy's and Curly's points connect with my thoughts
"Political Correctness" and I do *not* enjoy a positive relationship - I almost spit my breakfast one day last year when a therapist in a group program I attended referred to her husband as her "spouse".
Here in the valley we're cool with "squeeze"; but *spouse* :-(((
More LOVE PLEASE More LOVE PLEASE More LOVE PLEASE More LOVE PLEASE
Love / Marda
~ Some drink at the fountain of knowledge - Others just gargle ~
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi girls,
I don't think I have made a big secret of the fact that I don't think labling people is a good idea at all, and only serves to create barriers that would not normally exist.
Today era of instant communication, labels are important to speed up the processing of data. When we label we can instantly relate it to other experiences with that label. Speeding up the decision making process. However, it is not uncommon for mistakes to be made in labing for a wide variety of reasons. These mistakes devastate peoples lives. And is what brought me here.
I only want one label. Human.
Love always,
Elizabeth
I don't think I have made a big secret of the fact that I don't think labling people is a good idea at all, and only serves to create barriers that would not normally exist.
Today era of instant communication, labels are important to speed up the processing of data. When we label we can instantly relate it to other experiences with that label. Speeding up the decision making process. However, it is not uncommon for mistakes to be made in labing for a wide variety of reasons. These mistakes devastate peoples lives. And is what brought me here.
I only want one label. Human.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3562
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
- Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi all,
Rebecca,
The question of labels is a perennial preoccupation, both here and elsewhere. I don't think you're fussing needlessly.
When I lived in B.C. a while back, it seemed the trendy term for the human being we chose to have an intimate relationship with was "partner." I could never swallow that one. Partner? What? this is a business or something? Personally, I've always liked the term "mate" (even though I don't use it often); it's the one that has the richest connotations, I find. A mate is a friend. A mate is a spouse. A mate is a partner. A mate is a lover. A mate can be a girlfriend, a wife, a boyfriend, a husband. Also, the word describes not only the "status" of the person in relation to us, but also one of the "activities" we engage in with him or her, one that points to the intimate nature of our relationship. I sometimes say "lifemate" but I fully realize that this is more a reflection of intention than one of reality.
As for who we are (i.e., people who exhibit gender-inappropriate tastes, desires, and behaviours), well, what can we say? I call myself a crossdresser merely for convenience's sake. As Ahzz pointed out in another thread, we should take our labels (often indicative of stereotypical thinking) seriously only insofar as we think their defining characteristics apply to us. In other words, we can take 'em or leave 'em.
One thing I always try to keep in mind is this: we shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that labels are the same thing as a list of ingredients. A list of ingredients, of course, can be part of a label, but it's not the point of labeling something. The point is merely to help us distinguish between the different products on the shelf. Artichoke hearts aren't the same thing as red kidney beans, you know? (Imagine going to the supermarket and discovering that not a single tin can there sports a label! Like I said, convenience almost requires that we label and categorize.)
Anyway, Rebecca, I think this is a good question. My answer is "no, I don't like my label--but I understand the need for it and will suffer it for now."
Love,
CJ
Rebecca,
The question of labels is a perennial preoccupation, both here and elsewhere. I don't think you're fussing needlessly.
When I lived in B.C. a while back, it seemed the trendy term for the human being we chose to have an intimate relationship with was "partner." I could never swallow that one. Partner? What? this is a business or something? Personally, I've always liked the term "mate" (even though I don't use it often); it's the one that has the richest connotations, I find. A mate is a friend. A mate is a spouse. A mate is a partner. A mate is a lover. A mate can be a girlfriend, a wife, a boyfriend, a husband. Also, the word describes not only the "status" of the person in relation to us, but also one of the "activities" we engage in with him or her, one that points to the intimate nature of our relationship. I sometimes say "lifemate" but I fully realize that this is more a reflection of intention than one of reality.
As for who we are (i.e., people who exhibit gender-inappropriate tastes, desires, and behaviours), well, what can we say? I call myself a crossdresser merely for convenience's sake. As Ahzz pointed out in another thread, we should take our labels (often indicative of stereotypical thinking) seriously only insofar as we think their defining characteristics apply to us. In other words, we can take 'em or leave 'em.
One thing I always try to keep in mind is this: we shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that labels are the same thing as a list of ingredients. A list of ingredients, of course, can be part of a label, but it's not the point of labeling something. The point is merely to help us distinguish between the different products on the shelf. Artichoke hearts aren't the same thing as red kidney beans, you know? (Imagine going to the supermarket and discovering that not a single tin can there sports a label! Like I said, convenience almost requires that we label and categorize.)
Anyway, Rebecca, I think this is a good question. My answer is "no, I don't like my label--but I understand the need for it and will suffer it for now."
Love,
CJ
