What do you see in the mirror?

DanielleCD · Post by **DanielleCD** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 5:51 pm

I'm rather new at crossdressing and actually have fun. My question above comes from the femme attitude of not liking what we see in the mirror. My wife always complains and would like other things. My two daughters do the same things.

As I go through my days and think about those nice shoes, hair, make-up and all the other wonderful things, I ocassionally see my self in the mirror and my thoughts are: "Who am I kidding.!" Anyway is this normal thought? Do any of you gals have similar feelings.

I'm just trying to grow in my new world.
Danielle

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 3:28 pm

Hi Danielle ,

When I look at Merinda in the mirror I feel correctly me
When I look at male-me in the mirror I think " YUK!! "

Marda · Post by **Marda** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 4:03 pm

sys$error

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 8:29 am

I was going to post some enlightened comment, but after reading Marda's comment, she shed a whole new light on this for me. I will not allow my anima (Carl Jung's definition of our feminine side) to take over, Deborah will reamin subject to my male personna. Now I am not so sure? This male that I see in the mirror, serving as Deborah's "spaceship!" Actually that's pretty heavy stuff if you think about it! Maybe, its not the male personna controlling the anima, but it is actually Deborah NOT wanting to take control, or perhaps she is simply letting me think I have control when in actuality she is in control.That is the way women operate anyway isn't. They actual are in control are they not?! They just let us think we have control. So it stands to reason that if the psychological aspect of our anima, as in my case, Deborah, really is in control. This is heavy stuff, I have more studing to do - Thanks Marda, well at least I have something to do this week-end!!
Love,
Deborah

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 10:21 am

Hi girls,

Marda wrote:

When I look at my "constant companion", I think ...

Lucky me I have this healthy and passable guy to be my personal spaceship, open my mail and pose as something the World Of Men accepts even if it doesn't care about *ME*.

Love / Marda

I am going to have to agree with Deborah, that this is a profound thought and has had me thinking about it for over a day now.

When I look at my "constant companion", I see someone who has never been accepted by the "World of Men". I tried to fit into this world by working hard, being honest, and really trying to care about the feelings of my co-workers, friends, and just people I meet on a daily basis. However, When you don't go and have a beer with the boys, or spend my off hours with my wife and kids, instead of working on my buddies car or house. There are a lot of men this just makes them too uncomfortable.If you don't hunt, fish, and play on some softball team or other sports team, people just feel uncomfortable interacting with you, in my opinion.

Having said that, when I look into the mirror and look into my eyes, I see Elizabeth. I never had a name for her until I came here, but I have relied on her for a long time. This is the person I am. And the person I am here, is the same person I am everywhere, except in work and business where I used my phony male persona. In a way I am fortunate I am disabled and don't have to work in the "World of Men". It has allowed me to be who I am all the time.

I don't know if any of us have a choice about what dominates our personality. I am not so sure we can change the makeup of the anima.

As of late I have been going out with a more feminine look. I bought womens sandals, obviously feminine earrings, fingersnails and toenails painted. When I go out dressed like that, I feel like me. I have noticed that I am treated better by women now. I am not certain if it is because they think I am gay, so not a threat, or they view me as feminine male and therefore not a threat. But women talk more to me now, and start up more conversations with me. Maybe I just look happier. In any event, Elizabeth is firmly in control, and once again to quote my sister Darlene, "I am not so sure I would have it any other way" (I just love that quote, I am going to use it often)

Love always,
Elizabeth

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:50 pm

Interesting point that Elizabeth raises about the stereo-typical male ,

Young males in this country are expected to play cricket and/or Ausie rules football , unless you are part of the boys talking footy you suddenly find yourself very alone .

The stereo-type male expected behavior is to :
play sport
talk sport
live sport
watch sport on television
get drunk and have a fight
hobby is cars or motorbikes
hang s*#@ on individuals that dont fit into the above and consider any man without a woman for an extended period " Gay" until proven otherwise.

This is the "so called " normal male and why I dont get along with most people.

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 7:49 pm

I look in the mirror and wish I could be thinner. (Just like a GG!

)

I also am not the fondest of my nose - but as you say, everybody has something they don't like about themselves... it's perfectly normal.

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 8:10 pm

When I look in the mirror, I see the uglyest person in the world both inside and out. Destroy the demon within and enjoy the day. Gee

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 11:02 pm

Gelinda,

I remember feeling that way. For many many years. I hated the person I saw in the mirror. He was a liar, and a fruad, and I had a hard time respecting him. That person did not have one honest relationship. That person was not even true to himself.

So I lied to myself. I would tell myself I was a "good man" because I supported my family. I was a "good man" because I became a Master Electrician. I was a "good man" because I started my own company. I had to be the best at everything I did, because it was the only way I could be a "good man". Even with all this striving to be a "good man" and all of these seemingly wonderful accomplishments, I felt absolutely empty inside. None of it made me feel happy. I became to beleive I would never be happy.

So I settled for just feeling good. I became addicted to pornography because it had an immediate payoff. Of course that made me just hate myself more.

It was not until I realized that I COULD give up all the lies. I could risk everything because I was already unhappy and had never been happy. I really had nothing to lose.

So? I used to be a respectable married businessman who hated himself, now I am a disabled, retired, divorcing crossdresser finding happiness for perhaps the first time. Go figure? It is completely counterintuitive. But there it is, at least for me.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Marda · Post by **Marda** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 11:43 pm

sys$error

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 1:04 am

Marda,

It would seem so, I am still learning, but it does seem so to me.

Love always,
Elizabeth

CJ · Post by CJ » Sat Jul 17, 2004 5:50 am

Hi all,

When I look in the mirror, I notice the pimple but still think there's beauty there.

Love,
CJ

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 7:32 am

Marda,
That was great - and yes "Truth is stranger than fiction!"
Deborah

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 7:41 am

Gelinda,
See Lorna's quote from the movie, "Bruce Almighty!"? "Be The Miracle!"
Not, "wait" for it....not -"pray about it" not... "expect it" BE IT!!
You can do this!!! I know your background, hell, its just one more challenge, one more hill to climb, one more butt to kick.........You would not have gotten to where you are from where you came if you did not like a challenge and you are here because you have won so far, so what is that I hear???? It is the bell, now get out there and beat the hell out of this thing!
Deborah

S. Lisa Smith · Post by **S. Lisa Smith** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:45 am

Well, I am actually pretty happy. I look in the mirror and see the best person I can be who is striving to be better. I think I look acceptable for a 55 year old woman (although I wish I were thinner- and I'm working on it). I've always been a happy person (except for my clinical depression in '85). Guess I'm lucky.