"There Are 8 Million Stories In The Naked City"
Over 600 Users are registered here - I see the same usernames on a regular basis
INVITATION to ALL USERS
Please SHARE experiences
*ANY* Discrimination or Harassment in the Workplace
Open *or* "Below the Surface"
From Fellowworkers, Supervisors, Clients
Looking for Work, In Current Position, In Previous Position
Ongoing, In The Past
Did You Get Fired, Is Your Current Position Threatened
Do You HAVE HELP
Do You NEED HELP But Don't Know Where To Go
Do You Suffer Anxiety, Depression or other Symptoms
Are You Missing Work Often or Regularly
Do You FEEL Trapped
ARE You Trapped
*****
CJ, I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't help noticing in your profile you are a Health Professional
If anyone needs HELP and is nervous about replying here, please
DON'T LIVE ALONE WITH THIS KIND OF PROBLEM
SEEK HELP
WE LOVE YOU
WE UNDERSTAND
Love / Marda
Workplace Gender Discrimination Harassment
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Marda
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 553
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 8:09 pm
- Location: Vancouver Canada
Workplace Gender Discrimination Harassment
~ Some drink at the fountain of knowledge - Others just gargle ~
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CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3562
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
- Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi all,
Marda,
No, I don't mind at all. And your advice is spot on. I know there are a couple of members here who work in the counselling professions. They try tp help as best they can. However, in my own case, there is--as I have had to learn the hard way, both here, on the forum, as well as in my life away from the keyboard--a limit beyond which I cannot go. That limit is found exactly at the very point where a person in need of help refuses to do anything to help themselves. Issues of money or time or privacy matter little if your mental health is failing, if you're dying inside. If you do need help, go out there and seek the help you need.
The good folks on this forum can (and usually do) provide a safe environment in which to vent and to cry and to feel supported and loved; never hesitate to make yourself seen or heard, here. Still, this type of environment is limited. In order for us to be truly seen and heard, we need to be able to let others look into our eyes, see our body language, share the same physical space with us. That doesn't make this forum any less useful or important, though, to those who may be suffering. So, yes, I agree with Marda: never be afraid to post.
Love,
CJ
Marda,
No, I don't mind at all. And your advice is spot on. I know there are a couple of members here who work in the counselling professions. They try tp help as best they can. However, in my own case, there is--as I have had to learn the hard way, both here, on the forum, as well as in my life away from the keyboard--a limit beyond which I cannot go. That limit is found exactly at the very point where a person in need of help refuses to do anything to help themselves. Issues of money or time or privacy matter little if your mental health is failing, if you're dying inside. If you do need help, go out there and seek the help you need.
The good folks on this forum can (and usually do) provide a safe environment in which to vent and to cry and to feel supported and loved; never hesitate to make yourself seen or heard, here. Still, this type of environment is limited. In order for us to be truly seen and heard, we need to be able to let others look into our eyes, see our body language, share the same physical space with us. That doesn't make this forum any less useful or important, though, to those who may be suffering. So, yes, I agree with Marda: never be afraid to post.
Love,
CJ
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
Hi folks,
I would just like to add to CJs post with the comment that this forum may be more powerful than we give it credit for. To be able to let others look into our eyes, see our body language, share the same physical space with us, I am sure is important.
What I have found is that the body language associated with deep depression pushes others away from you. I once experienced an individual whom I knew, who was sitting right beside me, literally get up and run across the room, shaking from where he suddenly realized I was at.
That can not happen here, so one is able to offer a higher degree of support, Via this Channel - I think.
And yes we remain limited, there will always be a limit beyond which we cannot go. That limit is found exactly at the very point where a person in need of help is unable to do anything to help themselves, and I don't think that is a bad thing. Perhaps it is a place where we might all benefit from getting to?
So my advise is to use both this forum and letting others look into our eyes, seeing our body language, sharing the same physical space with us, And if that should prove to be not enough, "only then" consider looking else where.
I would just like to add to CJs post with the comment that this forum may be more powerful than we give it credit for. To be able to let others look into our eyes, see our body language, share the same physical space with us, I am sure is important.
What I have found is that the body language associated with deep depression pushes others away from you. I once experienced an individual whom I knew, who was sitting right beside me, literally get up and run across the room, shaking from where he suddenly realized I was at.
That can not happen here, so one is able to offer a higher degree of support, Via this Channel - I think.
And yes we remain limited, there will always be a limit beyond which we cannot go. That limit is found exactly at the very point where a person in need of help is unable to do anything to help themselves, and I don't think that is a bad thing. Perhaps it is a place where we might all benefit from getting to?
So my advise is to use both this forum and letting others look into our eyes, seeing our body language, sharing the same physical space with us, And if that should prove to be not enough, "only then" consider looking else where.
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Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
Hi Donna,
For all it worth, I think your case (though it for you meant you had to change jobs) was a HUGE happening for the TG'd world.
I'm so sorry it happened though.
It was surprising to read that the lawyers for both sides were brutal. Do you know why? I would have thought your lawyers would be kind.
Again I think everyone knows about that case and the legislation that is being passed to protected genders can, in my opinion, be directly attributed to what happened to you.
You and your wife are great people and I thank you for trying to stand up for something that was unheard of at the time.
Bless you both,
Beauty
For all it worth, I think your case (though it for you meant you had to change jobs) was a HUGE happening for the TG'd world.
I'm so sorry it happened though.
It was surprising to read that the lawyers for both sides were brutal. Do you know why?
I would have thought your lawyers would be kind. Again I think everyone knows about that case and the legislation that is being passed to protected genders can, in my opinion, be directly attributed to what happened to you.
You and your wife are great people and I thank you for trying to stand up for something that was unheard of at the time.
Bless you both,
Beauty
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Marda
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 553
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 8:09 pm
- Location: Vancouver Canada
DEADLAWYER WALKING
Hi Ladies
While I can't speak about the U.S. side of these issues, google "injusticebusters" to learn about Richard Klassen and his family in an offtopic Canadian Landmark case (malicious prosecution -wrongful, NOchild abuse, police-lawyer coverup) in the works for over a decade; recently being settled.
Lawyers apparently have a Code Of Unethics - they defend the legal machine first, then the clients in descending order according to some strange formula which calulates a client's power according to economic and political influence.
We used to think our worst enemies were from outside our land of "freedom".
Can someone point me to the Web documentation of the Oiler v Winn Dixie matter - *I will google it anyway so no real worry*.
Thank you so much for sharing Donna (et al) - I've lived in hell but never had the misfortune of being in court too - my heart is out to you !!!
Love / Marda
While I can't speak about the U.S. side of these issues, google "injusticebusters" to learn about Richard Klassen and his family in an offtopic Canadian Landmark case (malicious prosecution -wrongful, NOchild abuse, police-lawyer coverup) in the works for over a decade; recently being settled.
Lawyers apparently have a Code Of Unethics - they defend the legal machine first, then the clients in descending order according to some strange formula which calulates a client's power according to economic and political influence.
We used to think our worst enemies were from outside our land of "freedom".
Can someone point me to the Web documentation of the Oiler v Winn Dixie matter - *I will google it anyway so no real worry*.
Thank you so much for sharing Donna (et al) - I've lived in hell but never had the misfortune of being in court too - my heart is out to you !!!
Love / Marda
~ Some drink at the fountain of knowledge - Others just gargle ~
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Julie M.
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 224
- Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:48 pm
Coming out can be scary
In April I realized I was tired of hiding myself any longer. The Be-All Convention reaffirmed I could no longer live the life I was living. I thought it would be easier to come out to my family and be myself. Today I'm not sure which life is tougher.
I started therapy last week. On Thursday my wife and I met with the professional counselors employed by our local (I am in the construction trades union). The meeting was to determine if we would be covered to receive counseling. I was determined NOT to tell them I am transgendered because I feared more than anything that getting out on the jobs. You can imagine what my life would be like if the construction workers got a hold of that! It would be hell.
But as soon as we started the session I knew I couldn't leave that fact out. It was too important. So I told the counselor. I also told him my fears. He seemed willing to work something out where no one but he and his partner would know. I have seen and heard too many times where people got wind of some juicy tidbit and it spread like wildfire.
So now I'm out with my local. It's like a landmine to me. I don't know when I'll walk on a job and someone will know. If it happened I don't know if I could be strong enough to handle it.
We all know it's the general ignorance of the public that created this god-awful stigma we live with. But we also know our fear of discovery is partly what's keeping the public from gaining the knowledge that might help them drop their impression of crossdressing and learn what it really is. People like Donna who have lived a hell none of would ever want to live are pioneers but look what price they paid. And why? Sheer ignorance!
Lately I have found myself getting so angry about this. We are dealt this injustice that we had no choice in being part of. We just have to hide it or tough it out. There is no good solution.
Okay, I'm done ranting.
Julie
I started therapy last week. On Thursday my wife and I met with the professional counselors employed by our local (I am in the construction trades union). The meeting was to determine if we would be covered to receive counseling. I was determined NOT to tell them I am transgendered because I feared more than anything that getting out on the jobs. You can imagine what my life would be like if the construction workers got a hold of that! It would be hell.
But as soon as we started the session I knew I couldn't leave that fact out. It was too important. So I told the counselor. I also told him my fears. He seemed willing to work something out where no one but he and his partner would know. I have seen and heard too many times where people got wind of some juicy tidbit and it spread like wildfire.
So now I'm out with my local. It's like a landmine to me. I don't know when I'll walk on a job and someone will know. If it happened I don't know if I could be strong enough to handle it.
We all know it's the general ignorance of the public that created this god-awful stigma we live with. But we also know our fear of discovery is partly what's keeping the public from gaining the knowledge that might help them drop their impression of crossdressing and learn what it really is. People like Donna who have lived a hell none of would ever want to live are pioneers but look what price they paid. And why? Sheer ignorance!
Lately I have found myself getting so angry about this. We are dealt this injustice that we had no choice in being part of. We just have to hide it or tough it out. There is no good solution.
Okay, I'm done ranting.
Julie