I love being a girl

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 3:05 pm

Hi girls,

Whenever I have makeup on or am dressed or just feeling feminine I keep hearing this voice in my head(no, not the one telling me to go to Goodwill) that just keeps repeating "I love being a girl"

When I see Elizabeth in the mirror instead of Rudy or I look down to see my polished toenails sticking out of the end of my girls sandals or feel my earrings on my neck, I just seem to say to myself "I love being a girl" It is like it is preprogramed.

I imagine that this is the feeling girls have. Of course there is no way I can know this, it is just my mental picture of it I guess. I do love feeling pretty and am thankful I get to. It is all worth it to me. All the persecution, all the name calling, all the guilt and shame I have experienced. I would not ever trade getting to have this feeling of "I love being a girl"

I don't feel like a man, I feel like a girl, at least my brains interpretation of what that means. But for some reason I can only feel this way if I dress the part. If I don't dress the part, it is not that I don't feel like a girl, I feel like I am trying to hide the fact that I am a girl. I know this is pretty mental, but I wanted to share it with you all and invite your feelings and comments.

Love always,
Elizabeth

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 4:59 pm

I totallly agree Elizabeth! Even if I look bad I still feel amazing when dressed, I have to say however since I have accepted it a lot more I also feel a lot happier in male mode as well.

But like you say, we have to put up with so much emotional stress I suppose, but for those few hrs when you are set free it does seem worth it.

I am just like you too, when in male mode I consistently at the moment am thinking about Sophie, and I loveee it

*hugs*

Sophie xx

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 5:07 pm

Sophie, I guess you must think I am hitting on you, but you may feel amazing when dressed - You look amazing when dressed! And RIGHT ON MS. ELIZABETH!!!! I too enjoy being a girl!!!
Deborah

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 5:33 pm

Hi Elizabeth ,

At the age of 6 I would walk to school with my hands behind my head , this was in case I suddenly changed into the person I was in my dreams .
I would wake and see a girls face in the mirror with a boys haircut , the thought of my hair suddenly growing long would expose me to my friends.

Age 13/14 I had longhair and was mistaken for a girl at marine animal show publicly ( thread : public humiliation or was it ) .
Although embarassed , I was secretly in heaven .

Age 23 I was talking to a man in a disco for some time , when the fleuro lights came on he said " ohh! you've turned into a bloke " and walked off.
Considering I wasn't dressed in any feminine attire I was shocked but happy.

From that point I enjoyed the challenge and let the femme side free.
I dont care what people think these days , I enjoy being a girl and thats the bottom line .

I ENJOY BEING A GIRL , I have the lyrics to that song written somewhere .

Kristen · Post by **Kristen** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 10:47 pm

Elizabeth, As Stimie used to say ( The Little Rascals) Me Too!!! I have been dressing everyday for about two months, As soon as I get home from work The drab goes off and the pretty goes on..
Sophie, I would kill to look like You on one of your bad days, like you have those. I agree with Debora , Dahling Youuuuu Loooooook Mahvelous,
Merinda, I also thought that some day I would change into a girl, it was such a dream!!! Oh i was sure it was going to happen. Mistaken for girl a few times and rediculed for it. But I was pretty proud that someone thought I was a girl, many years ago, before John Kennedy was shot. You do look very cute( I like the prestine school girl, not slutty and over done).............Kristen

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 1:51 am

Hi all,

I have noticed the reference made to the amount of Stress one has to go through, which has brought up a thought I have some times entertained in the past.

For me during the past when I lived under more stress the feelings you Girls are talking about were far more pronounced in me than in the latter days. As I have moved to becoming able to live a less stressful live. the need to dress up for those reasons seems to be less.

I wonder if that is not closely related to who we are, and a factor associated with what stage of Cross-dressing we are in?

Kristen · Post by **Kristen** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 2:07 am

Darlene, It really makes you wonder is stress is causing one to dress , if not at least a catalyst. Before I got divorced there was a lot of money and time spent on dressing. I was not so concerned about going out or wether I could pass, now it's of the upmost importance. Added stress maybe, kind a makes you thnik that there is a connection. For me I reatily stress free right now but I haaaave never dressed so miticolsy or so oftrn. Don't know why but I need to get out of the house drssed, nver made an issue out of that in 454 years. Now I wnt to go to places and do thins as a woman , haven't' yet, low on courage, working up to it slowly. Tried to go to Wendy's coul not do it ............too much stess or not enough..........Kristen

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 3:15 am

Darlene,

My brother firmly beleives that I am only dressing now to feel the hole in my life left by losing my abiilty to work, and losing my wife. I can not deny this because I don't know why I am compelled to do it. Perhaps as time goes on a more clear pattern will become evident, as you have described in your life. I just don't know right now. It just feels so good being a girl.

I love your deep thought into such things, sometimes I forget or get tired of thinking of all of the implications of what I am thinkingl

Love always,
Elizabeth

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 5:31 am

Darlene, I don't know that I dress up because I'm emotional stressed, I think I'm sometimes emotional stressed because I'm not dressed up!

lol Actually it's not so much stress it's more just a consistent feeling of not being relaxed. Pretty much my Anxiety problems really.

Sophie xx

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 7:23 am

Elizabeth hit a chord for me and I guess a lot of us. I don't necessarily get stressed over dressing or not dressing, but I get stressed just thinking about why I do this especially when girls like Marta raise the issue that perhaps it is the female personna that is in control of all of us and just lets the male side think it has some influence in our lives. Just how complex are are brains and horomones? I like Elizabeth's thinking in that its like Nike - "Just Do It!!"
Love ya,
Deborah

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 9:38 am

Hi all,

A part that I meant to refer to here that seems to have been missed is that many of us lay claim to the statement that we feel so relaxed in womans clothes. In fact that there is no other way to feel as relaxed as we do while dressed. (and that is true for me) So would it not follow that the more stress we have to deal with the more intense, and rewarding our dressing might be?

Kristen · Post by **Kristen** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 11:36 am

Darlene, I think this is true the more stressed I have been in the past, the more I dressed. But , right now I have very little stress in my life, the most stress I feel right now is how do I match my foundation to a different color wig.. and I have never dressed as much as this whole summer. But I am completely at peace with myself yoo.Stress is always so realative, to what you are used to. kristen

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 3:13 pm

Darlene,

I don't think there is any question that for many crossdressers the act of dressing is a huge stress reliever. I have read plenty to support this. And clearly this is one of the most stressful times in my life.

For me though dressing does not releive stress. I feel bad all the time I am not dressed. I feel like I am being a fraud, not only to the world, but to myself. It is impossible for me to have any self esteem if I can not dress in a way that makes me feel whole and complete.

During the last 15 years I have looked like a total slob. I mean I showered everyday, but I only got my hair cut every 6 months or so, and only combed it once a day, in the morning. I gained a lot of weight. Never cared if my clothed fit right or looked good. As long as i was forced to be a hairy ugly dude, there was just nothing to feel good about. So I didn't care. My wife bought all my clothes, and I coped by wearing panties so at least in my mind I was being true to myself. The few times I told my wife I would stop, I only made it a few days before I felt so bad I had to tell her I could not, not wear them.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't think there is one universal reason or level of stress that cause us to want to dress. But that is just opinion.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 10:03 pm

Elizabeth,

I also don't think there is one universal reason or level of stress that causes us to want to dress, As I have said we all do not fit into the same box.

For instance I don't feel bad all the time I am not dressed, I just don't feel as good. When I am not dressed I am usually doing something I enjoy, so I don't really think to much about it.