Attraction - What is it anyway?

[CJ]

Hi all,

Awesome post, Anita! Very thorough, very direct, and thought-provoking.

About the "Hamlet lode," yes, I agree... "all the world's a stage, and we are but players on it." Crossdressers best exemplify this, I think.

About Goffman, Chantelle; I wonder if he's ever had to reckon with the "presentation of self" not only in everyday life (i.e., to other people), but merely to ourselves, alone, without the gaze of the Other? This is what's so fascinating about the situation of transgendered souls: we are our own "Other," in a way (and this is one of the things that are apt to disquiet our SOs, to some extent).

This is a great topic. Very enjoyable!

Love,
CJ

[Chantelle]

OK...I know that I am getting really abstract here CJ, but yes the "Other" is there when we CD. I mean, I look in the mirror often with an excited and happy "view" (my own?) and a more critical view (other people if I was out?). I also suspect that many people take pics etc. to see what others would think about the way we look. This is really fascinating.

This I believe is a huge difference between CDers and most other people. Perhaps we are more used to taking a multifaceted view of ourselves. At times, this may be misconstrued as a symptom of low self-esteem but it is really a demonstration of greater observation and therefore higher intelligence? IMO, are raised to never show weakness (i.e. Canadian hockey celebrity Don Cherry saying he will never apologize even if wrong), whereas we are forced by our very nature to consider issues from several perspectives. Sounds conceited I know.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Chantelle,

I agree with the thought that our ability to view ourselves from many stances (or angles) can lead us to adopt a seemingly conceited attitude. But it's not the "viewing" that intrigues me, it's the attraction. To an outsider (i.e., to a non-CD), it can appear as though we're attracted to ourselves when, in reality, we're attracted to our other, inner, half. That this kind of psychological schism is a part of the inner life of many crossdressers is, precisely, what troubles many who look upon us, I think. And not just our SOs... no, people in general. (For an interesting discussion on "the need to be seen," check out this thread: http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... .php?t=160)

Hence my hesitation with Lady X; am I attracted to her, as she is, in and of herself? or am I attracted to the fact that she might be a mirror to my own soul? Well, this might be a moot point if I never see her again, I guess.

About Don Cherry, I do wonder what views of transgendered people would come out of Coach's Corner? One thing's for sure; he would certainly not be afraid to make them known, eh?

Love,
CJ

[Chantelle]

Thanx CJ. It took a little time, but this was an interesting discussion for sure.

Chantelle

[Jassmine(SO)]

Hey CJ,

Hence my hesitation with Lady X; am I attracted to her, as she is, in and of herself? or am I attracted to the fact that she might be a mirror to my own soul?

Have you considered the possibility that it is both of these things that attract you to her?

I was attracted to Ahzz both because of who he is and because he is a mirror, or window, to my own soul.

*Hugs & Love*

[CJ]

Hi all,

Yes, of course, you're right, Jassmine; there's a possibility both these are coming into play. I'll just have to wait and see her again (and hopefully have an actual conversation with her) before I make up my mind about this.

Love,
CJ

[Jassmine(SO)]

Hey CJ,

Hi all,

Yes, of course, you're right, Jassmine; there's a possibility both these are coming into play. I'll just have to wait and see her again (and hopefully have an actual conversation with her) before I make up my mind about this.

Love,
CJ

Sounds like a good way to go. I am hoping you get to see her soon.

*Hugs & Love*