Does wearing clothes of the opposite sex make 1 a X dresser?

Post by **Celia** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 12:51 pm

I suppose one could get into quite a debate over this. I think it's more than just the activity--there has to be a basic inclination. It's common for women to wear men's clothing, but I don't think that the women who do so are properly crossdressers (although I dare say a few are), and it isn't even all that easy to argue that they're actually crossdressing. Some things have to do with one's state of mind.

-Celia

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 1:09 pm

I think that we have reached a point where there are varying degress of what one considers "crossdressing", dictionary terms notwithstanding. The dictionary defines crossdressing as simply wearing clothing intended for the opposite sex. However, for our purposes in this forum, there are many more elements not mentioned in the dictionary, such as wearing wigs and makeup, adopting female names, and presenting ourselves as women.

There are numerous forums on the internet where men like to wear various articles of female clothing for comfort or pleasure, yet are very insistent on NOT being referred to as crossdressers. They do not take on female names, and in no way try to present themselves as female.

Are they crossdressers? The dictionary says yes. What do I say? I guess I'm torn on this issue. I leave it up to the individual. But personally I would say no.

I have always preferred the term transgendered... but that's just me. But the bottom line is that I'm not too fond of labels anyway.

Chantelle · Post by **Chantelle** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 2:54 pm

I believe that xdressing is more about identity than behaviour. If one wears a woman's sweatshirt because it is clean and they have nothing else to wear (lazy bum

), then they are not crossdressing. If they wear it in an effort to demonstrate their identity, then they are xdressing.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 4:30 pm

I agree with my Sis, Darlene!
Love ,
Virginia

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Fri Aug 27, 2004 4:29 am

I see 2 basic types of xdressing :

(A) one who impersonates the opposite sex by taking on a female name and fully dressing as the opposite sex with wig , make-up cloths, etc.
basiclly taking the roll of the opposite sex when dressed.

(B) one who wears an item of clothing of the opposite gender but remains as their own gender , eg : a man that wears panties to work in male mode.

There are many variations of the above especially type (A) such as transexuals etc , this is breaking it down to basics.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Fri Aug 27, 2004 7:14 am

Virginia wrote:I agree with my Sis, Darlene!
Love ,
Virginia

I never had any doubt.

Beauty

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Aug 27, 2004 7:56 am

My father-in-law, a retired minister use to dress up as a woman every Holloween, I mean full war paint, wig, heels, etc. When I "got in to it" with my in-laws over my crossdressing, I pointed that fact out - Interesting, they have never mentioned my CD'ing since!
But, I feel it is an attitude more so than just putting on feminine attire!
Virginia

Jassmine(SO) · Post by **Jassmine(SO)** » Fri Aug 27, 2004 11:30 am

Hi Everyone

Virginia wrote:

But, I feel it is an attitude more so than just putting on feminine attire!

My masculin nature is quite strong, and sometimes I choose to express this part of my being by wearing men's clothing. Not to mention the fact that I just adore mens' flannel shirts

Oh weird thing....Men's jeans fit me better than women's

*Hugs & Love*

Rebecca · Post by **Rebecca** » Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:09 pm

HI girls,

If a GG wears jeans, is she a crossdresser?
If she puts a pair of socks down the front of the jeans what then ?

Love to all
Rebecca xxx

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Fri Aug 27, 2004 7:33 pm

Hi girls,

This is such an interesting thread because I personally have issues with this. I am with most of my sisters here who beleive that crossdressing is a state of being, not a state of dressing. I am a crossdresser no matter what I am wearing and a person who is not, can dress in women's clothes all day long and not be a crossdresser.

I think that there is a difference between being crossdressed and being a crossdresser.

So? does what I wear change who or what I am? I have been tellling my wife and everyone else that it does not. I was a crossdresser long before I deliberately put on girls clothes to satisfy a need I did not understand then, and still do not.

So I would say, if you dress in clothing of the opposite sex to fulfill a need to express who you are, or just because it makes you feel great, you are a crossdresser. Now I am not sure if Jassmine(SO) will agree with that, but it seems to me she dresses in men's clothes for the same reasons I dress in womens clothes. The difference being, women demanded this right long ago. They met with equal resistance, and in fact there are still many churches that will not allow women to wear pants.

In the end, I guess only each person knows for themselves why they dress, and what it means.

Just my opinion

Love always,
Elizabeth

Wendy Seymone · Post by **Wendy Seymone** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 3:48 am

Hey girls,

Here is a recent article by Ms. Debbie Hahn...
Thought it might give us all something to think about.

Are You a Man in a Dress?
By Debbie Hahn

At first blush, my opening question might see rather obvious but it
isn't. I've had several encounters in the past couple of weeks that
make me question how many MtF transgenders see themselves and/or
women. I make no bones about it, I see myself as an MtF transsexual
but until I undergo SRS I am an anatomical male wearing a dress. But,
I am not a man in a dress.

Most MtF transgenders will tell you they want to emulate woman. They
want the freedom to dress and act as a woman. Many will tell you that
they're a woman trapped in a man's body and they want to release the
inner woman. Last week I received an email from an MtF internet
sorority sister, it said, "Your last email contained a virus - jerk."
It had an automatically added signature, "Love and Kisses, (name)." I
was initially swept-away by the ultra-feminine touch of love and
kisses. It made me feel all warm and cozy inside...NOT! Don't get me
wrong, I do appreciate someone telling me that I might have a virus
on my computer but, why in the world would this sorority sister call
me a jerk. Wouldn't a woman be kinder and more caring? Wouldn't
a "sister" behave in a more compassionate manner? This brute was
a "man in a dress;" someone who dresses like a woman but doesn't act
as one.

Another incident occurred at the last support group meeting I
attended. After the meeting, we have to clean-up the dishes and
straighten-up the room. There were a large number of members who sat
there and watched a 4-5 of us clean. Think back to the last mixed
picnic or social gathering you attended; I'm willing to bet my next
paycheck that the majority of men sat chatting while the majority of
the women cleaned. I'll take it one step further, I'm positive that
the majority of the women made and served the food to the men. Okay I
understand the societal traditions that women clean and cook because
men are the breadwinners. But, there is no excuse for MtF
transgenders who sit on their haunches while others clean-up after
the meeting. Again, they are nothing more than a "man in a dress."

Emulating a woman is more than dressing in feminine clothing. It is
more than dressing in tight short skirts and wearing 5" heels. In
fact, I know very few genetic woman who act and dress like the
majority transgenders that attend my support group meeting or are
members of my web-based sorority. I am not naive and I realize that
not all women share the same qualities, but the majority of women are
loving people. They're caregivers, soft-spoken and concerned about
other people's feelings. Women are wonderful and unique. It is those
qualities that entice many MtF transgenders, because we desire to
free ourselves from the male shackles of no feelings and emotions.
Yet when given the opportunity, many of us don't behave as woman. We
behave as a man in a dress.

I suggest that each of us, look deep into our heart and ask
ourselves, why am I a transgender? What is missing from my life? What
am I looking for? What feminine traits do I desire? I think that
intimate reflection will discover that clothing or dressing like a
woman isn't your overall goal. It is not the clothing itself that
fulfills your needs, but the way dressing frees your spirit and
allows your softness to manifest itself. For many, this is the
essence of a woman. Last month I asked the question, what type of
woman are you? This month I ask the question, what type of
transgender are you? Is your goal to look like a woman or behave like
a woman? In other words, is being a woman just about feeling pretty
and feminine or is it an attitude, a belief, or a the way you treat
and respond to people. So, I suggest you take a tip from the US Army
and next time you dress..."Be all you can be!" Women are wonderful
role models...instead of just dressing like one; try behaving as one.

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 4:08 am

A few years back (in this country) womens fasion had gone to pin-stripe suits in grey, brown and black.
Many men would shake their heads in disbelief , but the positive side was for men to be a bit more adventurous in what they wear .
For instance , if you were caught wearing ladies sandals most people would say " hey your wearing ladies sandals , oh well I supose it doesn't matter anymore because women dress in mens suits these days.

Jassmine(SO) · Post by **Jassmine(SO)** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 9:08 pm

Howdy Y'all

Elizabeth wrote:

So I would say, if you dress in clothing of the opposite sex to fulfill a need to express who you are, or just because it makes you feel great, you are a crossdresser. Now I am not sure if Jassmine(SO) will agree with that, but it seems to me she dresses in men's clothes for the same reasons I dress in womens clothes. The difference being, women demanded this right long ago. They met with equal resistance, and in fact there are still many churches that will not allow women to wear pants.

In the end, I guess only each person knows for themselves why they dress, and what it means.

*Hugs & Love*

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:04 am

Well, I say yes that I am a Crossdresser but my is not.

I wear the clothes because it does something for me internally. I still do not understand what but I am ok with that.

My wife is a different issue, she wears men's clothes because they fit better than the same thing in a man's clothes. Especially her work shoes does that make her a crossdresser I say no. Clothes are clothes and material is material, what makes a piece of clothes gender pacific what makes it mans or ladies clothes other than the department it is in. I wore a shirt for three months thinking it was a man's shirt and never noticed that the buttons were on the wrong side until my wife said something about it when she washed it. Now I had wore that shirt at least a dozen times to work during that time was I crossdressing at work, NO because I did not know that I was.

A dictonary is a tool just like a wrench. You have to take it at face value. It is what is in the mind of the person that is doing the deed. A dictonary explaining wrench says,"a tool for removing and installing bolts and nuts." Now if I use a wrench for a fuse in a fuse panel to get my power into my house does that make my wrench a fuse for its life. I do not think so. Gee.

Wendy Seymone · Post by **Wendy Seymone** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 4:17 am

The Name Game
(GIRL TALK Volume 6, No. 1)

What’s in a name? I call myself a crossdresser, in fact, I tell everyone I’m a “textbook” crossdresser if they ask. I fit the generic pattern; experimenting with female clothing from the age of four or five, hiding it a great deal of my life, and then bursting out of the closet a little bigger than most.

But if people ask me if I’m a transvestite, I say, “yes” too. I believe that they are one in the same term, although most people nowadays fear the label transvestite. Appearing on television and radio shows I often make this comparison: Crossdressing sounds like you’re decked out in your finest dress, made up beautifully, and sitting next to a roaring fire drinking a nice glass of aged Merlot. In America, “transvestite” alludes to you hanging out on a street corner with a bottle of Boone’s Farm protruding out of a paper bag, waving at passerbys. Maybe that’s why the phrase TV came into being. Short, sweet and innocuous.

Being Transgendered is something we can all relate to. Whether you’re a crossdresser, transvestite, drag queen or transsexual, you fit under this umbrella. Neat package, huh? But wait, venture outside the U.S. and behold, you’re a Tranny!

“What?!?” you exclaim, “I’m not a Tranny! I’m a (fill in the blank).”

Well, despite the fact you call yourself something different, you’re just a Tranny if you’re in England. Or many parts of Asia. Just pick up a copy of the Tranny Guide from the UK and there you are you’re a Tranny! Go to the Philippines and you’re a transvestite even if you are a pre/post transsexual. Get mad if you want, complain if you’d like, scream to no avail! It’s just that in many parts of the world, we’re all lumped together under one term, like it or not.

In this issue, GIRL TALK columnist Trisha Van Cleef in her review of the new book My Husband Betty refers to us as TV’s.

That’s because Trisha’s British and that’s what she grew up with. Should we lecture her on proper TG etiquette according to U.S. phrasing? I think not. And besides, she’d only give me a dirty look anyway.

Often at conventions, nightclubs or restaurants, or even in boutiques I still hear people complaining about how they were addressed. The wrong term was used and they were MAD! Even if those not transgendered were just being polite to those seemingly insulted. I just chuckle to myself. Twenty years ago those of us who ventured out feared for their lives. Now some us worry a bit too much regarding what we’re called.

So what’s in a name? I’m Gina Lance, I’m a crossdresser and I’m transgendered. And if I’m visiting my friend Vicky Lee at the WayOut Club in London, I’m a Tranny. So what? Doesn’t make a bit of difference to me!

Get Dressed, Get Out, Be Safe and Have Fun!