Getting your groove back

[Wendy Seymone]

Getting your groove back
By Anna Johnson

I only shop for lingerie in emergencies: school reunions, retrenchments and dates with old flames trigger the urge for a better bra. I only ever wear a red dress when I feel vengeful: dining at a restaurant where I was once a coat check girl or demanding a raise. And in a melancholy state, the lower I feel the deeper my cleavage dives. If I got divorced tomorrow I would want all new knickers, much higher shoes (and boots) and much bigger hair.

Both predatory and self protective, sexy dressing is an altered state, a sign that we are ready to break out and let our body and soul blaze a new trail. There are turning points in a woman’s life when she stands before a full-length mirror and declares “Let it rock!” It could be minutes before a first date, hours after a break-up or midway through a marriage/job/life that needs stardust. When that moment arrives we want to remain ourselves while bringing back the magic. Low-cut leather pants at 47 years old work well, but worn with spike heels and a matching leather waistcoat? Not outside of Nashville. Sassing up your style doesn’t mean dumbing down your dignity. It is not about looking younger but looking more sensual and enigmatic.

Entrenched in the routine of office wear, respectable Mom attire and good old sweats, a woman may not know where to begin the “vampification.” Marilyn Monroe is said to have sawed a quarter inch off one shoe heel to give her hips an extra dip. Marlene Dietrich wore handmade silk knickers and bras with risqué details beneath her perfectly tailored, mannish suits. The Bombshell Manual of Style swears by Marabou-fluffy mules at home and sling-back heels for everyday.

As for me, after finding ways to camouflage my derriere for twenty years I invested in a pair of stretch Earl Jeans and high Cuban-heeled cowboy boots. Who cares if I am ten years too late on the trend, chunky of thigh and occasionally need to undo the top button after a bowl of spaghetti? One new item of clothing made me feel mythical and confident, a bookworm bad-backside ready to kick butt at the supermarket. I have my jeans, but you may have one little black dress, one magical satin blouse, one brand of smoky stockings or a pair of Louboutins that help you strut. Such an item is more than an investment in style, it’s an invitation to live large.

Five sexy dressing myths
1. Tight jeans are sexy... not if they pinch or your belly hangs over the front or your underwear is hanging out. Approach jeans like tailored pants, not denim corsetry!
2. Show what you’ve got... not all at once. Choose cleavage or split skirt, long legged mini or bare back. Witness the Hilton sisters and take heed.
3. Wear red... not if you have bright red or canary yellow hair yourself.
4. The little black dress does it every time...unless you look better in apricot silk, violet or white. Innocence has a sensual charge as strong as any black widow.
5. Long hair is sexy... not if it hangs there like string or is blown out so straight it hardens your features. Frame your face, fling a few curls about, wear tiny veiled hat... seduction is an art of distraction.

Five sexy dressing truths
1. The favorite part of you is the sexiest part of you. That includes shoulders, knees ankles, nape or freckles...find ways to accent your subtler charms.
2. Relaxed women are sexy. Work hard on calming your spirit and pumping your energy for at least twenty minutes everyday. Suddenly clothes are almost irrelevant.
3. Women think they are 20 pounds heavier than they are, especially in a cocktail dress. Risk it anyway: curves are the life force!
4. Shoes are 80% percent of the equation. Find a heel that loves your legs and buy three pairs.
5. Tactile sensuality is key. Look and feel touchable with soft hair (no spray, no gel), fabrics like angora, silk charmeuse, satin and cashmere and deliciously kinky accessories: Even a little pair of stretch velvet gloves beckons an invitation. Shall we dance?

Five ways to feel sexy in five minutes
1. Always get dressed playing loud raunchy music, even for the office. Dancing beckons Venus.
2. Always have low light in the bedroom: head-level lighting creates the illusion of fat you simply don’t have! 3. Wear special-occasion lingerie everyday.
4. Spray perfume behind your knees and rub essential oils on your pulse points whenever you feel a bit flat: scent triggers desire and an appetite for life.
5. Avoid any color that reminds you of work, watching TV or public libraries.

Five simply fabulous date dressing tips
1. First date: This is the night to feel pretty. That could mean a simple floral dress or velveteen corset and a black satin skirt. Because first dates are about the unknown, you must indulge your own romantic fantasies. Paint a self portrait in style but try to wear slightly lower heels (for that long walk and talk) and as little make-up as possible…the mark of true confidence.
2. Weekly established date: Seduce your husband/ lover/beer buddy with a shifting menu of affordable lingerie, lipsticks and home-spun glamour hairdos. Variety is the spice of lust.
3. Old flame: The only way to re-ignite a smoldering fire is with maximum heat and pitiless friction: spritz on a spicy scent (such as Yves Saint Laurent Opium), pout a very red mouth (Lancome, Rouge Sensation Code Red), swing lush perfect hair, have bare legs glossed up with Michael Kors' Michael Leg Shine and wear a wrap dress with slinky, high-heeled sandals. No mercy.
4. Double date: Avoid overdressing: a confident siren never has to compete. This is the night when you can wear jeans and a little T-shirt but with a killer bra, favorite earrings and generous coats of mascara. Call it the super-natural effect.
5. Ten-year anniversary: Spend less on the dress and more on the spa treatments leading up to this important night. Indulge in body massage and beauty treatments that cherish every inch of you and then slide into something comfortable and exquisite (a beaded ‘20s-style sheath) and the highest shoes you can bear. A queen has to walk very tall.

Anna Johnson is the author of Handbags: The Power of the Purse and Three Black Skirts: All You Need to Survive and has written for Elle, Vanity Fair, Vogue UK and other magazines. She's a correspondent for the Australian cable TV program By Design. Born in Australia, she divides her time between New York City and Sydney.

[Eloise Goth]

wonderful post...thanks for sharing it.

[Lorna]

Hi Wendy,

Great article. Thanks for posting!

[Virginia]

Marvelous information, Wendy!
Thanks so much!
Love,
Virginia

[Elizabeth]

Wendy,

That was great, thanks.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Wendy Seymone]

I hope these tips can be helpful, but please remember that they really are for GG's.

Hugs and Kisses,
Wendy