Self-Righteous Nags/Critics

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 11:38 pm

First and foremost, let me just mention that this is NOT aimed directly at anyone on this board. I'm just venting.

Why do they insist on pushing your buttons? Why don't they just let you be? Why can't they just let you do your own thing your own way?

I have a threshold for the amount of nagging and criticism I will allow myself to take. I KNOW that I don't have a 9 to 5 job, but I think that I should mention a few things:
1) I also work as a freelance web designer/developer and have recently landed THREE clients, one of whom is a candidate for the NJ State Senate.
2) I perform standup comedy once a month, which I not only enjoy but it also DOES pay
3) TWO clubs in the city want me to work for them as a promoter
4) I have recently registered for fall classes at Queens college in an effort to shapren my skills and build up my resume.
5) I have spent a GREAT DEAL of my free time going out of my way to take care of my family, which included raising my niece for 6 months when her own parents were too busy being DEADBEATS to care for their own daughter.

I really wish that people in my life would stop being so SMUG and HIGH & MIGHTY, focusing on the fact that "I'm not working a regular 9 to 5". There is really no reason for it at this point.

I'm keeping busy. I'm supporting myself. I'm getting by just fine. Nuff said. I don't have a car because a) I don't WANT one, and b) I'm moving into Manhattan in a few months, so why go through the HEADACHES and the EXPENSE of owning one? This is New York. Owning, paying for, and maintaining a car here is a NIGHTMARE to say the least.

So what if I don't weigh 150 pounds or that I have not yet quit smoking, or that I like to enjoy a drink or two on the weekends? I'll say it again: SO WHAT. I jog almost daily, I do heavy landscaping/renovating work at my mother's house, and my legs are in EXCELLENT shape.

I'm HAPPY with where I am and what I have. And I'm SICK and TIRED of people trying to cut me down and convince me that things aren't as great for me as I feel they are! Haven't I been through enough this year?? Isn't it time for me to finally have something to feel good about for a change? And believe me, the LAST thing I need is people "worrying about me".

STOP worrying about me. I'm an adult. I am not disabled. I'm book smart, street smart, creative, and I'm as strong as an ox. And I have had NO ONE to rely on but myself MANY a day. I can take care of myself just fine. Leave me the frig alone.

I am not a child. SPARE me the lectures already. Save the nagging and the criticism because I DON'T want to hear it. If I want constant CRITICISM I'll move back in with my family.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but playing the role of "mother hen" is one thing. But if you percieve me to be some sort of a helpless MORON, then I will simply walk away from you.

Eloise Goth · Post by **Eloise Goth** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:41 am

you're a fine lady, Lorna...and anyone who criticises you, takes you for a fool or treats you like a moron better beware!

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:48 am

Yes Lorna I can see where you're coming from,

Everybody knows whats best for me and I dont , for many years I was rejected by women because of my small stature and young appearance ,
but everyone knew better than that .
" your not in a relationship because you dont want one or your sexual preferance is not for women ", they said .

WOW! society knows more about me than I do !

I DID NOT WALK OUT ON SOCIETY , SOCIETY THREW ME OUT !

CJ · Post by CJ » Tue Aug 31, 2004 5:59 am

Hi all,

I hear you, Lorna! I hear you. From one big-city, carless CD to another: you lookin' for a roommate?

Love,
CJ

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 7:15 am

Hi Lorna,

I thought things were going well. What cause something or someone to light you up like this?

Sorry that you are feeling challenged by someone. Everyone has had awesome input though.

I hope their words help you out on this one.

Beauty

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 8:52 am

Lorna,

That was a great rant!!!! You talked about things I think we all experience, but you did not forget your strength of character, mind and of body.

As you got into the rant, I felt like I was there pullin for you and well..... I guess I am. I love your strong spirit, it strengthens me. Sounds like you have everything you need.

You go girl!!!!

Love always,
Elizabeth

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:02 am

Lorna Lorna Lorna!!!

Hope your feeling better, I can relate to sooo much of what your saying there. I get it all the time, when are you gonna get a car blahh blahh blahhhh

I get it mainly from my Dad, he also doesn't understand my Anxiety Disorder and the last couple weeks has been moaning cos I am not yet back at work. In the end my Sister rang him up and told him to stop it, saying we don't understand what it's like.

Anywayyysss... I think you just do what you wanna do anyway, judging from what I've read, so just keep doing what you wanna do

Sophie xx

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:26 am

Hi Lorna,

As others have said, GREAT rant!!

Anyone who would attempt to pass judgement on you will only succeed in passing judgement on themselves. Be who YOU are and do what YOU love.

Jassmine(SO) · Post by **Jassmine(SO)** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:32 am

Hey Lorna,

Nice rant! I can so relate. My dad was a class A nagger. Since he's been gone, my aunt has taken over for him...sheesh. Oh well, I know she loves me

*Hugs & Love*

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 12:44 pm

Hey Lorna!!!!!

Feel Better?

Not to worry girl, all those others will get a new hobby sooner or later, and you will be just fine! In my case, I've just outlived most of 'em!!

Love,

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:31 pm

Carolynn wrote: In my case, I've just outlived most of 'em!! ,

LOL, that's cool!

One awesome thing about cross dressing is that our lifes are anything but boring

If I didn't dress I guess my life would just be normal and boring, but dressing gives me a purpose, gives me a different way of life, happiness, it's soooo many different things about dressing up. The excitement of going out, getting caught... I think cross dressing is the best hobby in the world

Sophie xx

Ahzz · Post by **Ahzz** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:37 pm

Jassmine(SO) wrote:Hey Lorna,

Nice rant! I can so relate. My dad was a class A nagger. Since he's been gone, my aunt has taken over for him...sheesh. Oh well, I know she loves me

*Hugs & Love*

Hey! Don't I get credit for being a rather good nagger at times (when necesary that is. )

Nagging is bad when it's based on wrong assumptions.

Jassmine(SO) · Post by **Jassmine(SO)** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 2:33 pm

Hello Everybody

Ahzz wrote:
Jassmine(SO) wrote:Hey Lorna,

Nice rant! I can so relate. My dad was a class A nagger. Since he's been gone, my aunt has taken over for him...sheesh. Oh well, I know she loves me

*Hugs & Love*
Hey! Don't I get credit for being a rather good nagger at times (when necesary that is. )

Oh alright.....Ahzz you are also a class A nagger when neccessary

Love ya, baby

Nagging is bad when it's based on wrong assumptions.

*Hugs & Love*

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:21 pm

Thanks girls...

I will admit that the single most difficult thing for me to do is take criticism. No, scratch that. I can take criticism; it's the endless anal-retentive correcting-me-at-every-corner that I have a REAL problem with.

You see, I have been surrounded by real stickler types my whole life. Even friends and past girlfriends would get into the act. Instead of respecting MY wishes or feelings, they would constantly intervene and try to tell me "what's best for me", despite their own disorganized lives. I've put up with it for 32 years.

1. "Why do you eat so much junk?" (I exercise & eat plenty of healthy food so if once in a blue moon I want a nice fat cheeseburger with everything on it, I WILL have one)
2. "Why do you smoke?" (I will try to quit again, so spare me the classic ramblings)
3. "Why do you have to drink?" (Because I'm not popping meds & antidepressants 24/7 like all my self-righteous friends who DON'T drink. If I was hopped up on meds to that extent I wouldn't drink either)
4. "Why don't you want kids?" (Again, MY personal choice)
5. "Why can't you find a regular 9 to 5?" (I've been looking for months and STILL am, plus I have my web clients so don't get me started)

I KNOW that I have my flaws, (who doesn't - are we not human?) but I do not need to hear about them EVERY SINGLE TIME I talk to certain friends or relatives. It really gets old and they need to ease up.

Concerns I appreciate. But I simply CANNOT tolerate being told what to do. I won't stand for it from ANYONE.

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 3:33 am

Yes Lorna ,

you shouldn't be treated like a little child that wont brush her teeth.

One approach would be to have selective deafness when someone starts up on you .
when someone says " when you gonna give up them smokes" ?
You reply , " think the coffee table would look better in this corner ".

Keep this up and the person nagging you will get frustrated and give up.