Saturday morning was one of the best wakeups I have had in a long, long time. I had planned on sleeping in my cami-jamas, full makeup and wig but the wig was smoky (neither of us smoke) so I took it off. I also just wore the pajama bottoms but I left on the makeup and nails. I diodn't want to push it too far. When I woke up I saw my hand with the polished nails. I felt a rush of contentment, satisfaction, fulfillment. I was so happy.
After enjoying this special moment for a while I got up and went to the bathroom. On the floor were me heels from the night before. My skirt and top were laid out too as was the pantyhose I wore. I didn't have to hide them. For the first time I felt like the whole me was living in my house. Just as my wife might leave her clothes out from the day before, or I my guy clothes, I had left my girl clothes and they were a reminder of my night out. There would be no coldness from my wife, no noticable irritation. This was just me and her living as we are and it was no big deal.
I showered and removed my makeup. My toenails stayed polished. We were going to NIU to see my son for parent's weekend.
I put away my shoes and clothes then I picked up the wig. Yeah, it was smoky. I filled the sink with water and added wig cleaner. All the while my wife slept. I had no fear of discovery, no excuse making going on in my head, I was relaxed and just being myself. After I washed and conditioned the wig I was drying it when she got up. We talked a bit and she went to the kid's bathroom. She came back and we talked some more as I was putting away my makeup and doing some cleaning up. I thanked her for her company last night and told her how much I enjoyed being with her then. She smiled.
Later I thought if the wig was smoky, what about the clothes? I pulled them out of the closet. Both the top ans skirt were gentle wash and hang dry. So I put them and some other things in the wash. When they were done I took them out and hung the skirt on a hanger and laid out the top to dry in the laundry room. My wife was in and out of there as I did this. Again, no big deal.
We went to NIU. We brought him two pizzas (the pizza there "sucks" he said). While in his room he and I talked a lot, no tension in his face. He could look at me and laugh and smile. The ice had melted. We took him out to get things and then went grocery shopping. He told us he was being encouraged to enter a Greek Physique contest by his frat bothers and they thought he had a chance at winning and no freshman had ever won. I could see pride in his face. He talked about the diet and how it would take two months and how pizza would be out. It was just like old times.
On the way home my wife commented on how he and I talked so much and how he seemed to be so relaxed with me. She was obviously pleased. I told her I had to show him his discovery had not changed me. It took a while but I think he is now realizing that. I'm still the same dad, I just like to do something a little out of the ordinary.
Having been out the night before and all that happened prior left me with a sense of fulfillment and contentment I haven't had for some time. I was relaxed and happy and no nagging thoughts were bringing me down.
I don't know how long this will last, maybe it's permanent, maybe not. I'll enjoy it until the I hit the next iceburg. Then I'll rush to repair the hull and try to keep the ship afloat. Until then, it's smooth sailing.
Now I have to iron and hang up my skirt and top.
Julie
I don't get it, but I'll take it. 