Holding the door?

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sat Oct 09, 2004 7:22 pm

Hi girls,

I was wondering if somone could clear this up for me. It has always been my rule, and what I have taught my boys. You hold the door for anyone who is directly behind you, male or female, and you hold the door for any woman behind you within 20 feet, or if you make eye contact while looking, regardless of the distance, and allow the woman to go first. If she is accompanied by a male companion, he should take over this responsibility as soon as he arrives at the door, if he does not, hold the door for him as well.

However, when I am out dressed, I no longer know what the protocol is. I have still am myself and hold doors as usual, but after having several doors held for me, by both men and women, and having women smile or laugh in a an awkward moment while I was holding the door for them, I am not certain what I should be doing.

Can anyone clear this up for me?

Love always,
Elizabeth

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Oct 09, 2004 7:39 pm

Certainly Elizabeth,

Treat it the same as you are doing with the rest of your life. Do what you feel is right for you.

When am I out...(not dressed...never do)...there are both women and men who open the door for me. Not all women Not all men?

Why should it be any different dressed?

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sat Oct 09, 2004 7:43 pm

Hi Elozabeth,
My feelings on the subject are that a lady expects a door to be held open for her, but she also needs to be alert to the fact that some of the Neandatals out there have no clue how to act like a gentleman. So if she receives a courteosy she should smile and say thankyou otherwise just deal with it in a ladylike manner!
Love, Virginia

Post by **DonnaT** » Sat Oct 09, 2004 11:11 pm

4 or 5 steps, but not 20 feet. I always turn my head to see if anyone is near. When someone tries to hold the door for me and I'm several feet back, I wave them on with thanks. I walk slow, so they don't know how long it will take me to get tot eh door. Of course, that changes if they have packages.

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 12:55 am

Hi girls,

Thanks for the replies, I think I will solicit more replies and see if a consenses forms. I am at this point inclined to agree with Darlene, and just do what feels normal for me and not worry about it too much. But I have to say, I really like being courtious. It is one of those things that makes me feel good. Perhaps I will just have to tweak what I do, and see how it goes.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 4:08 am

Hi there,

I think Darlene's advice is very appropriate on what to expect if you go out dressed.

I thought the other input was equally as qualified. (that sound so librarian)

I just mean they were cool and it was good to go, "Hey! Me too!"

Hope the consensus forms.

Beauty

Jassmine(SO) · Post by **Jassmine(SO)** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 8:32 am

Howdy Elizabeth

I hold and open doors for people all the time

I think it is just being polite. What slays me is the number of people you don't say thank you

*Hugs & Love*

Terri(SO) · Post by **Terri(SO)** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 11:23 am

I'm with Jassmine. I hold doors for people all the time- men and women. I think its just rude to let a door slam behind me when someone else needs to come through too. And saying thanks is important too.

I am always very pleaseantly surprised when a man (a stranger- my men friends mostly do it as a matter of course) opens a door for me and indicates I should go first. Actually, I appreciate it when women do the same.

When I went through an extreme feminist phase I would feel insulted when a man opened a door for me ("I am perfectly able to open that door myself", she thinks indignantly), but, thankfully, I have grown up now and can appreciate the courtesy.

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 11:35 am

I hold the door all the time it is just the way I was raised it is politeness. In a recent case a school of kids was leaving the mall with only a few escorts (parents or teachers) and felt that it was just right to hold the door until they could all get threw even thought it took several minutes I just felt good about doing it. I will do it if one person male or female (more times for female don't know why just do) wheather they are old or young actually I believe I do it more for those who are older I just do it. I watched people going in and out of busy door just to oserver and I notice younger males (teen to 20's) hardly ever hold the door open for someone else but almost all woman no mater what age seam to hold the door open for others (I do notice that the youinger woman are traveling in pack with others there own age at the malls at least).

But that is my feeling it is all in just being polite.

Jessie

Honey(SO) · Post by **Honey(SO)** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 11:36 am

Yep, If I am going into a door and someone is behind me I hold it for them, just being polite. lots do the same for me, men and women. Just remember to say thank you and smile.

By the way my husband always opens the door for me, home, store, car no matter how he or she is dressed.

Honey

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 3:11 pm

Hi girls,

I need to clarify something. When I say "hold the door" I mean hold the door and let them go first. Holding the door until someone behind you can grab it is a common courtesy that should be extended to all.

So? Do you hold the door, and let others go in front of you? And when?

Thanks in advance.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Jassmine(SO) · Post by **Jassmine(SO)** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 3:52 pm

Hey Elizabeth

Yep, I will open the door for someone and let them go in or out first

Ooos.....Only answered part of your question

When, anytime and anyplace

To me it is just good manners.

*Hugs & Love*

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 5:07 pm

Elizabeth and all our kin.

I let them go first when they are elderly, handicapped, or when they provide eye candy.

I feel that to do it for any other occasion is simply away of attempting to show respect for another, excusing them form actually having to learn how to show proper respect for those who have earned it.

For example one could easily attempt to show respect for a thief, or what have you, by always letting others go first.

I guess what I am saying is that I need to have some kind of a feeling that there is a good reason for letting another go first. Not that I will always be right.

Rachel Ann · Post by **Rachel Ann** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 5:44 pm

While in guy mode, one of the things that *really* told me I was past it was when younger women starting holding doors for me.

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 6:05 pm

When I'm dressed, allthough I'll have a man hold the door for me (I always give them a smile when they do), for some reason I will still hold a door open for a GG & let her pass, unless she motions for me to go first.

I'm not entirely certain of the official door protocol, but I think that it's just good to show courtesy to either gender.