A Memory from Donna T

Post by **DonnaT** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 11:40 am

Hmmm,

makes me think. After the talk my wife and I had yesterday morning, she told me something my mother told her, but not me or my brothers, when my dad died.

While cleaning out his things I found a pair of falsies in his office. I assumed they were my mothers, as she has had breast cancer surgery. She didn't like them and would not wear them. I figured that he just stored them there and didn't think otherwise 'til now. BTW, I own them now.

Maybe that's why they never asked more than once about the time mom caught me in her bra. Nor did they bring up the subject about the dresses and stuff she found stuffed under my mattress. I wonder if any of them were his?

Wonder if I should bring it up next weekend when I visit for her birthday?

Speaking of birthdays, last night we took our 26 y.o. daughter out for her birthday to Tyson's Corner 2 in VA. While we were sitting a group walked past the table on the way out, and my daughter commented that one of the ladies was a man, she used the term he/she. I couldn't see it, even though I'm a CD. She knows nothing of my CDing by the way, so I didn't ask how she could tell (if she was right).

Missy · Post by **Missy** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:49 pm

DonnaT,

You didn't say what it was your Mom told your wife. Did it give you a clue that they may have been your Dad"s?

It would be really interesting to know if he was a CD, but the subject could be very delicate (to say the least).

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. We will be looking forward to hearing more.

Missy

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:59 pm

Hi Donna,

Wow, that is very interesting....

definitely keep us posted.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 9:54 pm

Hi Donna,

I think it is probably something you should bring up.

A way I have found to do that is to call ones bluff, - by saying something like I heard a rumor that Dad was a cross-dresser. Anything to that? When they respond with shock or surprise (phony or real) and ask you where you heard that. Simply respond that you do not have permission to reveal that information.

Works for me.

Post by **DonnaT** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 11:47 pm

Well, my mom and I had a talk, but not to the point I wanted. My wife made me promise not to bring up my CDing on her birthday. Bummer is, I had a perfect opening when something came on the television was about gay marriage. My mom agrees with me that gays should have the same rights as heterosexuals.

The discussion went to genetics and how we believe that sexual identity is mostly ingrained at birth. We talked about how if a hermaphrodite can have a genetic mixup during growth as a fetus so as to have sexual organs of both genders, then why can't a person have the same mixup in the brain also. The brain being the center of our sexual orientation.

She talked about a couple of gg twins she knows, one of which has always maintained she was a boy.

I talked a little about online forums and discussions pertaining to CDing, leaving an opening for her ask about me or talk about dad, but she didn't, and I couldn't say anything without breaking my promise to my wife. A bit of a let down, but the door remains open for next visit.

For her birrthday, I surprised her by showing up on her doorstep. I gave her the Escada perfume she loves and one of the atomizers I made. I even put some on myself and she thought that was cool, saying I should be able to wear it if I want. We then went to dinner, both of wearing the perfume.

At least I know she's cool with gays and with crossdressing.

Dixie Darling · Post by **Dixie Darling** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:58 am

Donna,

First, it's great that you and your mom see sort of eye to eye about transgenderism/crossdressing. And since there seems to be a possibility that your dad MIGHT have been a CD, that's even more in your favor. However, I've found that a lot of moms - and even MORE wives - have the attitude that it's OK as long as it's someone ELSE'S son or husband. It seems to take on and entirely different light when it's close to home. Your thoughts?

Dixie

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 9:05 am

Well, since she caught me once in my teen years and found my stash of clothes, and never said anything bad about it, I think she'd be ok with me being more up front about it. How "accepting" she'd be I don't know, but I know she wouldn't think any less of me.

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:24 pm

Yeah ! go for it Donna ,

You've got nothing to lose , you may learn some intersting stuff if your dad WAS a crosdresser.

I remember when I was living with my parents my mother once made referance to " your box of secret cloths " , mind you I used to wear some very femme stuff openly.

Julie M. · Post by **Julie M.** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:10 am

Donna,

Sometimes all we have to do is put the shoe on the other foot. If you discovered about your son the same things your mother discovered about you, you would know. and so does she. She might be in denial but I doubt it since the question of if your dad was is still in the air.

She seems like a very accepting and loving person and you being her child I doubt she will reject you. We all struggle with the honesty issue. We want to be honest but we also want to avoid hurting them. What a great thing it would be for us all to learn that who and what we are really isn't a bad thing at all. But the years of brainwashing can't be erased overnight.

It's interesting there's a possibility your dad was a CD. I have read many times over the years there's no gene that can be passed down to make a person CD/TG/TS. The only thing I have read lately is if the mother releases certain hormones to the fetus between the third and fourth month of pregnancy, the child could be born with gender dysphoria.

Whatever happens, we're behind you all the way.

Love,
Julie