So...what do I do now?

Hope · Post by **Hope** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 5:46 pm

I've just begun what is planned to be three weeks without access to my boy clothes. My DW has made a fantasy come true by locking everything away and keeping the keys.

So....I've got some sewing to do (make a couple of dresses), and the house will definately get a thorough cleaning. Other than that, I don't have any definate plans. Anybody have any good ideas?

Hope

Terri(SO) · Post by **Terri(SO)** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 6:18 pm

Wow, that sure is a twist I haven't heard before! You won't be allowed to dress in boy clothes? Interesting

I would assume you will have to simply go about your life as always, doing everything you always do, only wearing girl clothes. Probably easier said than done, tho.

I sure hope you keep us posted!

Post by **Celia** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 6:29 pm

Some folks go for the compulsory stuff, some don't. If I had an SO who wished to lock my boy-mode wardrobe away (however temporarily), I think I'd like advance warning, at least. If I could wear skirts, blouses, and dresses without fear of consequence, I might do so all the time; even at that, if someone said I couldn't put on boy clothing, I might feel someone was trampling my autonomy. Do you have any mixed feelings about this, Hope?

-Celia

Hope · Post by **Hope** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 8:34 pm

if someone said I couldn't put on boy clothing, I might feel someone was trampling my autonomy. Do you have any mixed feelings about this, Hope?

Oh goodness, I'm afraid I wasn't very clear. It's not like she 'insisted' on any of this. It was always a fantasy I've had and, bless her heart, she is making it actually happen. We did plan well ahead by the way. I had material to purchase (to make some dresses), makeup restocking, nylons, etc.

If push comes to shove, of course I get the clothes back. But until she really believes I no longer having fun, she keeps the keys. This isn't the first time by the way. I've done this for about three years in a row now. My past record was 10 days....I know, I know....but believe me, after 10 days in dresses and petticoats, and skirts and blouses, it's good to get back to 'normal' and get out a bit.

I'm shooting for three weeks....will I make it? hmmmmm

Terri(SO) · Post by **Terri(SO)** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 9:52 pm

Oh, I get it now.
You guys are cloistering yourselves to have a kind of vacation together. You are not actually going about your regular life dressed. Well, that sound like fun. I'm curious though, why do you need her to lock the things away? Just a form of fun submissive play? That's sweet!

Hope · Post by **Hope** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 11:06 pm

Exactly! Thanks! It is fun.....I know as an SO you probably don't understand the 'fun' but that's ok.

Terri(SO) · Post by **Terri(SO)** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 11:16 pm

Actually Hope,
Maria and I set aside a few hours a week for that kind of fun!

Three weeks? Oy!

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 12:03 am

Is this like the show " He's A Lady."? Are you , do you or can you go out! I mean like to eat or shop or to a movie? You have to be "en femme" at all times the next three weeks? I assume that you do go out to the grocery store, get gas for the car - what ever, but you have to do it "en femme?"
Just wondering what the rules are to this.
Virginia

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 9:55 am

Hi Hope,
I just tryed that a couple of weeks ago living 27/4 enfem but only lasted 5 days.My wife was out of country for 2 weeks and I figure heres my chance to live and do as a women as I wanted, ya I chicken out at going public and got tired of all the makeup applying and removel and my wig was a mess in the morning. Hope, if you can do it you are a better women then I am.

Carol Ann

Hope · Post by **Hope** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:29 am

So then you understand! Yes, it's 24/7 and, although my DW says I would pass, I don't go out anywhere.

I guess the biggest problem is the cabin fever that comes after about a week. I just want to go out, have a nice lunch or dinner with DW, walk around etc. And I'm sorry, I just can't. Maybe one day I'll have the confidence but.....

It is funny how I always imagined how wonderful it would be to dress all the time and when I've actually done it? Well within a few days it almost seems 'normal' and some of the edge is gone. After about a week, the edge has turned nasty rust colored and dull, and I am guessing after about three weeks I'll truly understand the pain of having to wear dresses all the time!

I have to admire you GG's out there. It really is more comfortable/convenient wearing slacks, jeans, etc. But for now...you keep the pants, I'll wear the petticoats

Post by **DonnaT** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 12:50 pm

Sorry, don't know how I repeated by Editing. The following post remains.

Post by **DonnaT** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 12:51 pm

Here is a little food for thought I read today that might get you out of the cabin:

Written by Rikki on 01 Nov 2004 10:42:21:

As an answer to: Coming close to passing as a cD written by Steffie on 30 Oct 2004 06:23:17:

Hi Steffie,

I'm a full time crossdresser. To put it another way, I live full time as an openly transgendered woman. My wife knows and accepts, of course. My neighbors all know. They invite us over, speak to us, and so on. My driver's license has a femme picture but my male name. It says I'm still male, as does my doctor who knows. (For the curious, I've never taken a hormone in my life.) I go everywhere this way. Not just shopping but riding airplanes and public transit, going to Canada and Mexico, etc. I've lived this way for over 5 years. Obviously, I like it. And by the way, I'm 5'11" tall and weigh about 250 pounds. I'm not suggesting that everyone go full time or anything. But it does mean that I know about "passing."

If passing is a goal for you, it helps to define carefully what passing means for you.

If passing means being able to have no one ever suspect that you are anything other than a GG, you're right in thinking that is out of the question for most of us. Even if you're short enough, small enough, and have a high voice, you're probably facing facial feminization surgery, a legal name change, years of hormones to get exactly the right body shape (and get that pesky little "M" off your driver's license). You won't be able to pass as a guy anymore. This is clearly not what most crossdressers want, or can attain to.

However, if you define passing as being able to go anywhere you want to go and be treated with normal respect, it is probably doable. The fact is, transgendered people (in the broadest sense) are yesterday's news to most people. You won't be the first TG person most people have seen, nor the last. Crossdressing is not illegal in most countries. Law enforcement authorities do not necessarily assume that anyone who gives them a confusing gender picture is a criminal, a terrorist, a child molester, etc. If passing means being treated with respect, it's attainable.

In other words, passing is an attitude.

It helps (a lot) to be confident and comfortable with what you're doing. That takes practice. The first few times, most of us are probably very nervous. And the public picks that up (like sharks smelling fear.) Bite the bullet, grin and bear it, get used to it. And it goes away, like magic!

It helps (more than a little) not to be too outrageous looking. It's a good idea to notice what women your age are wearing in your area. But that doesn't mean that you have to slavishly copy them. You may see, for example, that most women wear pants. That doesn't mean that you can't wear a skirt. But it does mean that an ultra-short red skirt with bright green high heels and black fishnets would probably get noticed and laughed at. A GG would get the same reaction!

It helps (more than a little) to be reasonably safe. Any GG who's over 30 can give you some valuable pointers. She's spent a lifetime knowing how to be safe. (Stay out of dark alleys, let someone know where you'll be and when you'll be home, etc.)

It helps (more than a little) to try to treat others with the same kind of respect you need. Be courteous. Leave tips where appropriate. Etc.

It helps (less than you'd expect!) to look and act as convincing as possible. Mostly it shows people what your intent is. If you're trying as hard as you can to be treated as a woman, most people will get the message and treat you as one. Especially if it means increased sales and tips, mutual respect (most people look and act a bit silly at times, you know), etc.

It helps to have a thick skin. Get used to people noticing your "little secret." Get used to people whispering behind your back. Get used to other trannies being out there in public too (we're everywhere!) The first time you spot another t-girl, you'll want to rush over and greet her as an old friend. (Probably not a good idea, of course). Is there a "secret handshake" between crossdressers? Yes there is. It's a slight smile. Works well with lots of other people too.

Eventually your family, coworkers, and neighbors will find out. It's just a matter of time. They may not say anything (to your face!). You can postpone the inevitable by only dressing when you're out of town (you'll be taking more "business trips"!), only going to "friendly" places, dressing infrequently, and so on. But you can only postpone the inevitable so long.

I told my wife a long time ago. That was, of course, long before I was full time, even long before I had ever dressed in public.) She is a remarkable woman, and accepted relatively easily and relatively well. It also helps that I've tried to be honest and forthcoming. But even if she were not very accepting, it would mean that if she stumbled across my bra in the laundry, she wouldn't wonder who it belonged to. Should you tell your wife? That's up to you.

A little career planning helps. Since your coworkers will eventually find out, it helps to work in a place where you won't be fired (or publicly embarrassed) when they find out. It helps to be a valued employee. If you decide that a career change would be safer, take your time and make the change well. Certain career fields and certain companies and certain parts of the country are more tolerant, and this probably applies more at work than anywhere else.

I have more friends now than I ever had before. My circle of friends includes crossdressers, wives, transsexuals, and people of all races, economic levels, ages, religions, education levels, and so on. I've become as open-minded as I expect people to be about me.

Plan to learn a lot.

You'll learn a lot about yourself. You'll learn how far you want to go, how much of the time you want to dress, and what you want to do once you get dressed.

You'll learn a lot about other people. What they notice, and what they don't. What gets public comment. What women wear. How they behave and speak. What their mannerisms are.

The more you learn, the more life will be more interesting, and more fun.

So that's "passing." All depends on how you look at it. If you expect no one to suspect, it will probably never happen. But if you want to be treated with respect, it's easier than you think.

Enjoy!

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 5:20 pm

Wow!!! Awesome!!!!Right to the Heart of the Matter!!!
Virginia

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 7:39 pm

I seem to be doing this a lot tonight.

Hope · Post by **Hope** » Wed Nov 03, 2004 8:03 pm

Well, just finished the third day. Only two weeks and 4 days to go? Hmmm. I must say the time has flown by so far. It's still pretty easy to keep busy. I've let too many things slide that needed to be taken care of inside, and now's the time to get it done I guess.

I appreciate the suggestions on 'passing' and know you're probably right. Maybe one of these days? I don't know, as the days pass, and I get more and more comfortable, I just might venture out a bit. I think I'm getting my mind into this.

Thanks all for putting up with my reporting. I just feel it's quite an adventure and want to share it.