I sleep in the same every night (normal tighty whities during the day).Maggie wrote:Actually, I prefer men's cotton bikini-type briefs (with a plain front) made by Jockey.
Anne
Lunch with My Mother-in-Law
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Maggie,
It is not my intention to say you are anything, or to label you. I am only curious.
I have really been on this "denial" kick lately, and I was just really curious if you had really considered the possibility that you are in fact transgendered? There are many crossdressers who don't want to be a woman, but periodic dressing is an incredible stress releiver. They are completely masculine and enjoy being men.
You describe a feeling of satisfaction when you play Maggie. I think that many crossdressers may feel just this way. I guess what I am saying is that, I am not sure the satisfaction I feel when I am dressed is any greater or less significant than what you feel, because it is so undescribable. Even though our experience and motivations may be entirely different.
I say this because I have noticed this among the entire transgendered spectrum. We can't say what it is, but we know it when we feel it. I have played in several bands and have performed hundreds and hundreds of times. But the feeling I get when performing, is a wonderful feeling, and while I have never performed while dressed en femme, I can tell you that the feeling of playing my guitar while dressed is wonderful, but it is not the same as performing. I believe performing while dressed would be incredible.
I guess what I am wondering, is if you have not found this special nitch for crossdressing, and it is so powerful that dressing alone does not compare, and is therefore not worthwhile? Just something to consider.
Love always,
Elizabeth
It is not my intention to say you are anything, or to label you. I am only curious.
I agree with this, and when I spoke of classic crossdresser behavior, I did not mean to infer that all crossdressers exhibit this behavior or that everyone who exhibits this behavior is a crossdresser, necesarily.TamaraSegunda wrote:
After as many years as I've prowled around edges of the Transwhatever precincts of cyberspace, if I've learned nothing else, I've learned that there is no such thing as a "typical CD/TV." We may have in common the basic experience of having dressed in the clothing of the opposite sex -- and enjoyed it -- but beyond that, there are as many variations in degree and intensity as you can imagine.
I have really been on this "denial" kick lately, and I was just really curious if you had really considered the possibility that you are in fact transgendered? There are many crossdressers who don't want to be a woman, but periodic dressing is an incredible stress releiver. They are completely masculine and enjoy being men.
You describe a feeling of satisfaction when you play Maggie. I think that many crossdressers may feel just this way. I guess what I am saying is that, I am not sure the satisfaction I feel when I am dressed is any greater or less significant than what you feel, because it is so undescribable. Even though our experience and motivations may be entirely different.
I say this because I have noticed this among the entire transgendered spectrum. We can't say what it is, but we know it when we feel it. I have played in several bands and have performed hundreds and hundreds of times. But the feeling I get when performing, is a wonderful feeling, and while I have never performed while dressed en femme, I can tell you that the feeling of playing my guitar while dressed is wonderful, but it is not the same as performing. I believe performing while dressed would be incredible.
I guess what I am wondering, is if you have not found this special nitch for crossdressing, and it is so powerful that dressing alone does not compare, and is therefore not worthwhile? Just something to consider.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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Maggie
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 92
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 2:44 pm
- Location: USA
Well, yes, I have considered the possibility that I am "transgendered" - however that term is defined. I know that some people use it as a broad, umbrella term that would include all types and degrees of cross-dressing, while other people use it more narrowly to focus mainly on people with gender dysphoria. As you can see, I am still struggling with this.Elizabeth wrote:I have really been on this "denial" kick lately, and I was just really curious if you had really considered the possibility that you are in fact transgendered? There are many crossdressers who don't want to be a woman, but periodic dressing is an incredible stress releiver. They are completely masculine and enjoy being men.
Prior to my performance in the cabaret show, I had put Maggie away for several months and did not feel any need to cross-dress. However, my experience in the cabaret show was so rewarding and the reception so positive (except from my wife) that my attachment to Maggie gained a new life. My recent experience out in public as a woman was also extremely enjoyable.
Although I don't want to stop being a man, I don't want to totally stop being Maggie either. However, I would find it very disatisfying and pathetic simply to be a closet transvestite. Maggie wants to be on stage or out in public, interacting with ordinary people. I don't want to do this a lot, just once in a while.
No doubt I have a feminine side to my personality that is calling out for expression, in addition to my regular masculine persona. I suppose there could be several different approaches to dealing with this (such as blending the to two sides together and becoming androgynous - which wouldn't satisfy either side of my personality). I would feel more comfortable being a male actor who is also a female impersonator.
Unfortunately, I don't think there will be sufficient opportunities to perform in drag to satisfy my need for expression. Therefore, it is possible that I will have to acknowledge that I am a transvestite, sooner or later, and go back to attending TG support group meetings.
I appreciate everyone's comments in helping me to sort this out.
Maggie
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Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3068
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 2:55 pm
- Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)
Hi Maggie--
I feel for you, on that initial acceptance turning to "distance." It has not happened to me often, but it hurts when it does. Most of the time, people accept me dressing as a woman for performance. This is so "safe" that I can talk to my customers about it, show them pictures, and there's no backlash. People are intrigued by it, and it's a high-profile activity, so they don't stop to think about it as crossdressing. They see it through the lens of show biz.
But sometimes with people who know me better, I've gotten that backing-off feeling from them when they realize that I'm in this for more than just a stage prop. I am SO glad that it is not the norm, but occasionally it's there, and it hurts maybe all out of proportion to what's being expressed.
I have no problem with people that dislike me off the top--that's to be expected. But those that initially like me and warm up to me, and THEN turn a cold shoulder, can just devastate me.
That's when I knew crossdressing was a strong force. I was going to go out in public anyway, knowing that I have this vulnerability. To my amazement, most people are either positive or neutral. Very few have ever been negative. Once again, I have no wife, GF, or any children of my own. I know that they can have this kind of flip-flop reaction. And few of my family have ever met "the gal." [/i]
I feel for you, on that initial acceptance turning to "distance." It has not happened to me often, but it hurts when it does. Most of the time, people accept me dressing as a woman for performance. This is so "safe" that I can talk to my customers about it, show them pictures, and there's no backlash. People are intrigued by it, and it's a high-profile activity, so they don't stop to think about it as crossdressing. They see it through the lens of show biz.
But sometimes with people who know me better, I've gotten that backing-off feeling from them when they realize that I'm in this for more than just a stage prop. I am SO glad that it is not the norm, but occasionally it's there, and it hurts maybe all out of proportion to what's being expressed.
I have no problem with people that dislike me off the top--that's to be expected. But those that initially like me and warm up to me, and THEN turn a cold shoulder, can just devastate me.
That's when I knew crossdressing was a strong force. I was going to go out in public anyway, knowing that I have this vulnerability. To my amazement, most people are either positive or neutral. Very few have ever been negative. Once again, I have no wife, GF, or any children of my own. I know that they can have this kind of flip-flop reaction. And few of my family have ever met "the gal." [/i]
Last edited by Anita on Thu Nov 11, 2004 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Jaye
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 585
- Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 3:24 pm
- Location: Tallahassee, FL
Elizabeth,
I can relate to your feelings about the performance rush and crossdressing. After my initial Halloween foray 11 years ago, my girlfriend (later wife) and some friends convinced me to try my hand in different clubs as a female impersonator. It was, to say the least, an interesting experience. Up to that time, I had displayed little talent for any kind of public performance. I didn't have much rhythm, and couldn't dance to save my life, but I got this incredible energetic feeling from performing in front of an audience. If I knew then the things I know now, I might still be doing those shows.
I can relate to your feelings about the performance rush and crossdressing. After my initial Halloween foray 11 years ago, my girlfriend (later wife) and some friends convinced me to try my hand in different clubs as a female impersonator. It was, to say the least, an interesting experience. Up to that time, I had displayed little talent for any kind of public performance. I didn't have much rhythm, and couldn't dance to save my life, but I got this incredible energetic feeling from performing in front of an audience. If I knew then the things I know now, I might still be doing those shows.
The most common form of despair comes from not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Maggie,
I was once supporting a person who was getting off of drugs, and I was at an AA meeting, in fact the person was doing 90 meetings in 90 days. I attended most of those meetings. I learned so much there, not about alcoholics, but about myself. At the meeting I mentioned, a man asked "well how do I know if I have a drinking problem?". The person who was hosting the meeting said "well there is no hard and fast rule to determine who is an alcoholic and who is not, but it has been my experience that people who do not have a drinking problem, never wonder if they do".
I think this philosophy may be applicable here, although I can not be certain because I know from reading your page that you seem to be in Jung's camp on this issue, meaning all men would question their gender identity to some degree. However, It is my belief that most men do not feel anything at all when they put on a dress. It may as well be a Chicken Suit. However, there are those of us who feel something quite different.
As I said, I can not quantify it, and I can only use standard cliche`s, none of which really describe the feeling I have when I am dressed as a woman. But it seems we all know it well enough that we share this bond. Your understanding of this feeling speaks volumes to me, and again if this is presumptuous, my apologies I don't mean to offend, but you have more than just causual knowledge. You talk about your desire to not stop being Maggie. You talk about the positive feelings you get from being dressed as Maggie out in public and your desire to continue doing this. You speak of putting Maggie away. Your language is much of what I hear from my sisters here everyday.
I am curious? Do you have these same feelings for other characters you have played? As I have mentioned, I love performing music live, I understand the desire to perform and the rewards that go with it. This desire has encompassed my life for long periods before. I am sure I will never tire of my desire to perform music for others. I also enjoyed presenting myself to the public as a Performer, by the way I dressed, wore my hair, and even the way I spoke. So, I see how your desire to present as Maggie could be nothing more than just an extention of this desire to perform, and present oneself as a performer. Not unlike my Rock Music T-shirts and long hair told people I was a performer, even when I was at the mall.
The fact that you are struggling with this also gives me an idea of what you are feeling. I too have struggled, and continue to struggle with it every day. So often I catch a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror, or the bathroom mirror and I see the smile on my face, and just can't help but wonder why I must do this to be happy. And the answer continues to be "I don't know". But I am not happy unless I do.
Good luck in your struggle.
Love always,
Elizabeth
I was once supporting a person who was getting off of drugs, and I was at an AA meeting, in fact the person was doing 90 meetings in 90 days. I attended most of those meetings. I learned so much there, not about alcoholics, but about myself. At the meeting I mentioned, a man asked "well how do I know if I have a drinking problem?". The person who was hosting the meeting said "well there is no hard and fast rule to determine who is an alcoholic and who is not, but it has been my experience that people who do not have a drinking problem, never wonder if they do".
I think this philosophy may be applicable here, although I can not be certain because I know from reading your page that you seem to be in Jung's camp on this issue, meaning all men would question their gender identity to some degree. However, It is my belief that most men do not feel anything at all when they put on a dress. It may as well be a Chicken Suit. However, there are those of us who feel something quite different.
As I said, I can not quantify it, and I can only use standard cliche`s, none of which really describe the feeling I have when I am dressed as a woman. But it seems we all know it well enough that we share this bond. Your understanding of this feeling speaks volumes to me, and again if this is presumptuous, my apologies I don't mean to offend, but you have more than just causual knowledge. You talk about your desire to not stop being Maggie. You talk about the positive feelings you get from being dressed as Maggie out in public and your desire to continue doing this. You speak of putting Maggie away. Your language is much of what I hear from my sisters here everyday.
I am curious? Do you have these same feelings for other characters you have played? As I have mentioned, I love performing music live, I understand the desire to perform and the rewards that go with it. This desire has encompassed my life for long periods before. I am sure I will never tire of my desire to perform music for others. I also enjoyed presenting myself to the public as a Performer, by the way I dressed, wore my hair, and even the way I spoke. So, I see how your desire to present as Maggie could be nothing more than just an extention of this desire to perform, and present oneself as a performer. Not unlike my Rock Music T-shirts and long hair told people I was a performer, even when I was at the mall.
The fact that you are struggling with this also gives me an idea of what you are feeling. I too have struggled, and continue to struggle with it every day. So often I catch a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror, or the bathroom mirror and I see the smile on my face, and just can't help but wonder why I must do this to be happy. And the answer continues to be "I don't know". But I am not happy unless I do.
Good luck in your struggle.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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RikkiOfLA
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 298
- Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2003 11:39 pm
- Location: Los Angeles, California, USA
Maggie writes...
At my wife's suggestion, I switched to panties.
I used to wear those, back before I went full time. They're virtually indistinguishable from plain cotton panties, except that they cost a lot more.Actually, I prefer men's cotton bikini-type briefs (with a plain front) made by Jockey.
At my wife's suggestion, I switched to panties.
Love and respect,
Rikki
Rikki