Some observations about Halloween

[Anita]

I was recruited to play a Unitarian church service on Halloween morning, and I was playing alongside two TS women. So I was dressed as Anita the Red Cross nurse at 8:30 in the morning, going to get my coffee at the local chain, Peet's.

I was expecting people to be amused--it's Halloween, right? But they weren't. At least three people looked at me, and then immediately looked away, as you do when someone is making a social blunder. Didn't bother me, but it sure puzzled me. I don't get that reaction when I'm out on a normal day, and I wouldn't have gotten that reaction the night before, when everyone's dressed. But I guess it made people uneasy to see someone in costume that early in the morning--it didn't seem appropriate to them.

It showed me once again, how narrow our allowance of disguises really is. We allow very small windows for people to "be someone else." Then we slam them, hard.

I've said it before: we CDs break two social rules, not just one. We go out as women, but we also go out disguised. Even before terrorism, it was not cool to ever go out in the U.S. in a disguise, of any kind. I can't go out dressed as a "someone else" of my own gender, either. I can't put on a fireman's outfit, or a doctor's surgical gown, or a military uniform. Oh, I could, but if I were challenged, the consequences would probably be severe. As a society, we believe that anyone pretending to be someone else has to be doing so for criminal purposes. We don't trust adult play.

But as gals, our "disguise" is so outrageous that we get away with breaking this rule.

Later in the day, of course, people did smile and nod.

The more years I spend doing this, the more I suspect that 99.9% of the guys dressed as women at Halloween are my sisters! I just don't see the exaggerated soccer ball breasts and mop-head wigs that the non-CD guy is supposed to wear, to show that he's only doing it in fun.
I seldom see any guys dressed as women at all! It's not a "costume" that the regular guy wants to deal with.

I still had my nurse's outfit on, and I did make a nice-looking nurse, I think. A little boy, about 6-7, came up, and said, "You're a man, aren't you?" He said it in a kind of wonder.

I smiled and said, "Yes, I'm a man."

He then said like he was thinking out loud, "But you're pretending to be a girl."

"That's right. I'm a nurse, just today."

His sister said, "You look like a baby doctor."

"Maybe I'm a baby nurse."

The little boy and I exchanged a few more words about going out trick or treating. Then he smiled a little and waved good-bye, as he went back to his mother. I felt like he now knows that some day he might be able to do what I'm doing now. I trust that it gave him some hope, too.

And the service went well, by the way. I did my first-ever vocal of "Don't Fear the Reaper," by Blue Qyster Cult. With songs like that at service,the Unitarians are certainly not the traditional church of my childhood, and they're transgender friendly to boot. Quite a package. I don't see myself as part of organized religion anytime soon, but it's great to know people like the Unitarians.

[TamaraSegunda]

Dear Anita:
Sorry it took me so long to get around to reading this, but I just wanted you to know I enjoyed your observations about disguises -- very insightful IMHO. Also, while I'm no longer an adherent to any religion (nor much of a believer at all), I must say that those Unitarians may be on to something. They embrace all art as a gift from the divine and are certainly one of the most tolerant and accepting groups around.

Nice post! Love,
.......Tamara Segunda

[Elizabeth]

Anita,

I think you are very correct about Halloween. I call it "Crossdresser Christmas" While I have absolutely nothing other than my own gut feelings to support this conclusion, I do beleive that a very high percentage of those crossdressing on Halloween, are in fact crossdresers.

I remember in 9th grade the boy who sat next to me in homeroom, came to school dressed so convincingly, that I thought we had a new girl in homeroom. And while I was already secretly wearing girls underwear by then, I remember actually feeling really jealous that I had not done this. Of course having a cast on my arm from breaking it, would have made it quite difficult. I also had three older brothers, and was already considered to be....well sissy is probably not the best term, but lets say, not masculine by them, I did not want to do anything that would have brought on more teasing.

I never really considered crossdressing as a disguise, I guess because I am not passable, however it makes really good sense. I know that one of the reasons that I don't have problems with men when I go out dressed, is precisely because I am not passable. While I have directly considered that this was because they are not offended by mistaking me for a woman. I never really made the connection of thinking about it in terms of a disguise.

When I think about it, "passing" means exactly that. It means to convincingly not show your true identity. This however creates a great deal of confusion among us crossdressers since we consider ourselves to actually be the person of the disguise, not the person disguised.

Very interesting thread.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Anita]

Thanks Tamara, Elizabeth--
We do turn disguise on its head, since we don't consider it to be hiding our true idenity. It's more like the "disguise" brings OUT our true identity, as Elizabeth pointed out.

I was waiting to see if there would be a crackdown on CDs after 9/11. I'd only been going out for about 9 months at that point, and I was holding my breath. Nothing really changed for me as a CD, though. I do wonder how CDs are treated in a country like Israel, where any kind of concealment can be seen as a real threat.