As most of you know, I'm in the process of getting deployed right now. This is a post concerning the events that happened last night, and I would like it if you could all keep me in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks if this is what I think it is.
Last night, completely out of nowhere, my platoon sergeant said "hey, speciallist, I heard a rumor that you wear women's clothes. Is that true?" I froze up as my heart skipped a beat. Questions began racing through my mind.
How did he know? Who told him? Does he have to ask me this in the middle of the barracks, where everyone can hear? This has to be some kind of joke, and he has to be just giving me crap.
"No, sergeant." I lied.
I could feel my heart pounding, as the existance around me began to blurr. "Are you sure? I'm wearing a pair of my wife's underwear right now. Do you want to see them?"
My face twisted in a disgusted expression. How did he know?
"No, sergeant."
"Alright. Carry on."
He had a huge smile on his face the whole time, like he was trying to make it cut deep or something. I don't know if he knows or not, and its really killing me, because I'm afraid that I'll get called into my 1SG's office and given hell for it.
I'm really scared right now. I don't know if I should worry about it or not, or if I should talk to someone higher up and get him burned for it. I don't know how this is going to work out, but I hope that I get out of it OK without ending up in Ft. Leavenworth. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, as per I don't know what they can and can't do to me, and I don't even know if they will do anything to me, so I'm just kind of in limbo with this thing right now.
I'll keep you all posted with what's going on, so that you don't get too worried, unless they are warranted worries. Thank you very much.
Bad mental images...
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Nick
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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Hope
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Celes,
I wouldn't give it too much worry actually. I suspect the Sgt is pulling you chain. Maybe he did hear a rumor...so what? And if you aren't wearing anything on duty (that's about any time by the way, except on leave), I can't think of any regs that affect you.
Keep cool. Let him have his little fun. Just don't try going after him. That's a sure way to bring things to a more 'formal' inquiry and I wouln't want to do that myself. Besides....didn't he say HE was wearing his wife's panties?
Ignore it. Follow orders, do what all CD's before you have done in the service and be all that you can be.....
At ease soldier.
Hope
I wouldn't give it too much worry actually. I suspect the Sgt is pulling you chain. Maybe he did hear a rumor...so what? And if you aren't wearing anything on duty (that's about any time by the way, except on leave), I can't think of any regs that affect you.
Keep cool. Let him have his little fun. Just don't try going after him. That's a sure way to bring things to a more 'formal' inquiry and I wouln't want to do that myself. Besides....didn't he say HE was wearing his wife's panties?
Ignore it. Follow orders, do what all CD's before you have done in the service and be all that you can be.....
At ease soldier.
Hope
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DonnaT
- Miss Great Goddess
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Maybe someone there is online here, like the Sgt.? I would hate to think another CD was outing you. Maybe he wants out?
No need to worry about Ft. Leavenworth, not against regs and at most you would be discharged, but that is doubtful too.
I wouldn't cause waves with the Sgt. either. I was a Sgt. in the army and not someone you would have wanted to get on the bad side of.
No need to worry about Ft. Leavenworth, not against regs and at most you would be discharged, but that is doubtful too.
I wouldn't cause waves with the Sgt. either. I was a Sgt. in the army and not someone you would have wanted to get on the bad side of.
DonnaT
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Nick
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I wouldn't do that without shaving first. I can't stand being en femme with all of the hair that I have now. He hasn't mentioned it since then, so I think that everything is OK, but I'm not for sure yet. As far as I know, no one else knows anything, so I guess that I'm OK... Like I said thoug, I'll keep you all posted.
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
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Celes,
I know absolutely nothing about military regulations, but I do recall reminding you that your internet communications could be being monitored. I will keep you in my thoughts, and I hope your deployment is a safe one. I am sure it will be dangerous.
As A fellow American I just want to thank you for volunteering to serve, and being willing to serve, because it allows guys like me to be able to go out dressed like a girl in a free country.
Keep in touch if you can, and hurry home, in one peice.
Love always,
Elizabeth
I know absolutely nothing about military regulations, but I do recall reminding you that your internet communications could be being monitored. I will keep you in my thoughts, and I hope your deployment is a safe one. I am sure it will be dangerous.
As A fellow American I just want to thank you for volunteering to serve, and being willing to serve, because it allows guys like me to be able to go out dressed like a girl in a free country.
Keep in touch if you can, and hurry home, in one peice.
Love always,
Elizabeth
Carol Ann-
Nick
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I don't care about internet connections being watched or about volunteering or anything like that. My dad forced me into it before I was too young to make an unbiased decision on my own so that my father could either
A) get me out of the house ASAP so that he didn't have to worry about feeding me,
or
B) live his life vicariously through me because he failed in what he wanted to do.
I didn't volunteer for anything. I might as well have been drafted, because it would work just the same way. I'd be here, away from all of the things that I love (because I really don't have much of anyone to love, due to the fact that my G/F dumped because I don't listen to country, and I talk about art too much, and that I'm some kind of transgendered freak... while she didn't use that terminology, it still hurt just the same, and all that my family wants to think is that I'm all "Gung ho" and "Hooah" about this army thing when I am not. I couldn't care less about what goes on in Iraq, because I'm not all that affected by high gas prices, I'll just ride a friggin' bike if I have to. All that this conflict [mistakenly called a war] is about is oil).
I apologize if I offended anyone with my parenthesis, but it is raw, untamed, and from someone actually experiencing this stupid... THING! Not just another innocent civilian watching the news. It's all about oil and "My god better than your god!!! My god smash your god head in with big stick!!!" I must say that because of these things the human race is doomed to failure. It's been going downhill from the start (and it started bad! That's the worst part about it!).
A) get me out of the house ASAP so that he didn't have to worry about feeding me,
or
B) live his life vicariously through me because he failed in what he wanted to do.
I didn't volunteer for anything. I might as well have been drafted, because it would work just the same way. I'd be here, away from all of the things that I love (because I really don't have much of anyone to love, due to the fact that my G/F dumped because I don't listen to country, and I talk about art too much, and that I'm some kind of transgendered freak... while she didn't use that terminology, it still hurt just the same, and all that my family wants to think is that I'm all "Gung ho" and "Hooah" about this army thing when I am not. I couldn't care less about what goes on in Iraq, because I'm not all that affected by high gas prices, I'll just ride a friggin' bike if I have to. All that this conflict [mistakenly called a war] is about is oil).
I apologize if I offended anyone with my parenthesis, but it is raw, untamed, and from someone actually experiencing this stupid... THING! Not just another innocent civilian watching the news. It's all about oil and "My god better than your god!!! My god smash your god head in with big stick!!!" I must say that because of these things the human race is doomed to failure. It's been going downhill from the start (and it started bad! That's the worst part about it!).
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Amelie-Laveau
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I feel so sorry for you Celes. All I can say is hang in there, don't let them force you to come out. Like someone said here, "don't tell don't ask".
I do find it disgusting, here you are fighting to free Iraqis so they can live and dress with freedom. Yet you, who has to do the fighting for them, has to hide in fear. In fear from your own people, not the enemy.
What is wrong with this picture.
I hope all goes your way, and you come home soon.
Love Amelie
I do find it disgusting, here you are fighting to free Iraqis so they can live and dress with freedom. Yet you, who has to do the fighting for them, has to hide in fear. In fear from your own people, not the enemy.
What is wrong with this picture.
I hope all goes your way, and you come home soon.
Love Amelie
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Lorna
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I don't know how many times or ways I can thank you & all of the US troops for what you have done for us, but here it goes - thank you. And I hope that you have a quick and safe return back home.
As for the sargeant, do not bend, do not break. If you really don't want to out yourself, then don't. Just continue to deny it up & down. But even if you were to be outed somehow, I would think that would not matter because you're involved in something much bigger - you're protecting our country.
(Sorry, I'm getting teary eyed) You're a true patriot, and a true hero. I have nothing but the utmost love & respect for you. Come home soon.
As for the sargeant, do not bend, do not break. If you really don't want to out yourself, then don't. Just continue to deny it up & down. But even if you were to be outed somehow, I would think that would not matter because you're involved in something much bigger - you're protecting our country.
(Sorry, I'm getting teary eyed) You're a true patriot, and a true hero. I have nothing but the utmost love & respect for you. Come home soon.
Live it. Love it. OWN IT.
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PaulaK
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Happy Veteran's Day. Take heart. (And Yes I know)
Celes, there are a LOT of war veteran CD sisters. I am one of them. I could tell you "War Stories" but why? I could give you a pep talk about how much we appreciate what you are doing, but why?
I know what it's like to pack your gear (which you haven't recieved all of) and go outside to sit on your duffle bag and wait for the bus to take you to the airfield where you will go to war. Look out the window of the plane and wonder if you will ever see this beautiful green country again, and curse the fate that put you in that seat. I felt it, heard it, know it.
Put those thoughts away.
You have your friends (and some of your lifelong best friends you have not met yet) and your job to do. Stay ALIVE. DO YOUR JOB! Have a sense of humor. If worst comes to worst, the training they gave you actually WORKS and will kick in when you need it.
Your Sergeant? Who knows? I'd ignore the whole thing. I had that happen to me too.
A sergeant came up to me once and said unexpectedly "Rumor has it you're Queer." It was so unexpected I said about the same thing you did. (I am straight BTW, not even "curious".)
If he brings it up again, I'd suggest you treat it as a boring joke. A third time, I suggest you put an edge on it and tell him "Hey Sergeant if I thought you were serious this might have to be reported." (Friendly-like, like he's taken the joke too far. HEY, He's the guy who keeps coming to you and talking about it. Who the hell wants to work for a Gawn-Dam QUEER!) Gotta adopt the Personna sis. "Macho, macho, macho Man".
Act it, don't believe it.
Your friends are covering it up too, their fears. You can be Silvester Stallone or "Arnie" and a 12 year old kid can kill you. Be scared, you should be. Work with that, settle down and accept it. Concentrate on your job. That should take up most of your "awake time".
You watch your behind, sis. How you got there is nothing. You are there now. THAT is reality.
Celes, the night before I shipped to Vietnam, I met a WW I Canadian vet. (I was in uniform). We talked briefly about weapons and war. He knew, I didn't. He wished me luck. I was heartened a bit by that (not much). I pass that to you.
YOU HANG IN THERE SIS! (and keep your girl in your heart!)
I know what it's like to pack your gear (which you haven't recieved all of) and go outside to sit on your duffle bag and wait for the bus to take you to the airfield where you will go to war. Look out the window of the plane and wonder if you will ever see this beautiful green country again, and curse the fate that put you in that seat. I felt it, heard it, know it.
Put those thoughts away.
You have your friends (and some of your lifelong best friends you have not met yet) and your job to do. Stay ALIVE. DO YOUR JOB! Have a sense of humor. If worst comes to worst, the training they gave you actually WORKS and will kick in when you need it.
Your Sergeant? Who knows? I'd ignore the whole thing. I had that happen to me too.
A sergeant came up to me once and said unexpectedly "Rumor has it you're Queer." It was so unexpected I said about the same thing you did. (I am straight BTW, not even "curious".)
If he brings it up again, I'd suggest you treat it as a boring joke. A third time, I suggest you put an edge on it and tell him "Hey Sergeant if I thought you were serious this might have to be reported." (Friendly-like, like he's taken the joke too far. HEY, He's the guy who keeps coming to you and talking about it. Who the hell wants to work for a Gawn-Dam QUEER!) Gotta adopt the Personna sis. "Macho, macho, macho Man".
Act it, don't believe it.
Your friends are covering it up too, their fears. You can be Silvester Stallone or "Arnie" and a 12 year old kid can kill you. Be scared, you should be. Work with that, settle down and accept it. Concentrate on your job. That should take up most of your "awake time".
You watch your behind, sis. How you got there is nothing. You are there now. THAT is reality.
Celes, the night before I shipped to Vietnam, I met a WW I Canadian vet. (I was in uniform). We talked briefly about weapons and war. He knew, I didn't. He wished me luck. I was heartened a bit by that (not much). I pass that to you.
YOU HANG IN THERE SIS! (and keep your girl in your heart!)
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PaulaK
- Miss Silver Goddess
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Hope I offended no one
Incidently. I hope no one will be offended by my remark about "Queers"?
I know everyone is touchy about the election and I do not want to create a problem.
In the military, (forget "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Persue") it is necessary to assume a "Personna" of confident male agressiveness. (Women soldiers do this too.)
This is what I illustrated, not what I believe.
I know everyone is touchy about the election and I do not want to create a problem.
In the military, (forget "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Persue") it is necessary to assume a "Personna" of confident male agressiveness. (Women soldiers do this too.)
This is what I illustrated, not what I believe.
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PaulaK
- Miss Silver Goddess
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To SPC Celes, TOTALLY Serious
If your unit is about to deploy to Iraq, please bring this report to your officers.
http://www.bob-oracle.com/SWATreport.htm
This is an OFFICIAL US Military study of weapons usage in Iraq. What worked, what didn't, what broke, what the fixes were, what your unit needs to bring from the local hardware store they didn't give you.
I would take this report to be Official Permission to do what "fixes" it recommends.
I say this from experience, the more technical military stuff you know (assuming you are in a support unit) the more respect you have. Learn all you can.
Additional advice: Get a pocket-size traveller's Arabic-English phrasebook. You will get a card with all the "HALT! PUT UP YOUR HANDS! NO TALKING!" stuff on there. But it is nice to be able to say PLEASE and THANK YOU too. Numbers. I mean how to say them. The locals will expect you to be another crass American. You can say unexpected things, they don't know WHAT you understand.
Come back safe.
http://www.bob-oracle.com/SWATreport.htm
This is an OFFICIAL US Military study of weapons usage in Iraq. What worked, what didn't, what broke, what the fixes were, what your unit needs to bring from the local hardware store they didn't give you.
I would take this report to be Official Permission to do what "fixes" it recommends.
I say this from experience, the more technical military stuff you know (assuming you are in a support unit) the more respect you have. Learn all you can.
Additional advice: Get a pocket-size traveller's Arabic-English phrasebook. You will get a card with all the "HALT! PUT UP YOUR HANDS! NO TALKING!" stuff on there. But it is nice to be able to say PLEASE and THANK YOU too. Numbers. I mean how to say them. The locals will expect you to be another crass American. You can say unexpected things, they don't know WHAT you understand.
Come back safe.
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Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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Hi Celes--
Really good posts on this thread. Hopefully, you don't have any clothes around, do you? They could search any of your belongings that they want to, if it came to that, but I can't see it going that far.
I never spent any real time in the military--I enlisted, and then was kicked out because I had a wool allergy. But I imagine there's no privacy at all--at least, not the kind a CD needs.
Do come home safe. You're in my thoughts here. Yes, I too appreciate that I live in a country where I can go out dressed as a woman and not be jailed or slaughtered.
Really good posts on this thread. Hopefully, you don't have any clothes around, do you? They could search any of your belongings that they want to, if it came to that, but I can't see it going that far.
I never spent any real time in the military--I enlisted, and then was kicked out because I had a wool allergy. But I imagine there's no privacy at all--at least, not the kind a CD needs.
Do come home safe. You're in my thoughts here. Yes, I too appreciate that I live in a country where I can go out dressed as a woman and not be jailed or slaughtered.
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Nick
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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- Location: Wichita, KS
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I still wish I had the freedom to choose my destiny...
I think the best words ever written to explain my current position are in the Metallica song "Disposable Heroes". It's a B-Side from the album Master of Puppets, so I'm not surprised if none of you have heard of it.
"Life planned out before my birth
Nothing could I say
I had no chance to see myself
Molded day by day"
Unfortunately, I'm here. Now that I know the difference between being here and not being here, I think that I'll just move to Canada-
--I mean... er... no, I am not going to move to Canada. I'll just... um... stay here and go to... Iraq?
Whatever will happen will happen I guess, I just hope that I don't lose anything while I'm over there (well, except for maybe one part... so that I look more convincing while en femme, but I don't see that happening without also losing a leg... so I'll just not think about it...)
I think the best words ever written to explain my current position are in the Metallica song "Disposable Heroes". It's a B-Side from the album Master of Puppets, so I'm not surprised if none of you have heard of it.
"Life planned out before my birth
Nothing could I say
I had no chance to see myself
Molded day by day"
Unfortunately, I'm here. Now that I know the difference between being here and not being here, I think that I'll just move to Canada-
--I mean... er... no, I am not going to move to Canada. I'll just... um... stay here and go to... Iraq?
Whatever will happen will happen I guess, I just hope that I don't lose anything while I'm over there (well, except for maybe one part... so that I look more convincing while en femme, but I don't see that happening without also losing a leg... so I'll just not think about it...)