I recently have had something dawn on me that has really struck a chord with me. I realized that I never thought I was attractive as a boy/man. I wrote it very casually in another thread here, and then it dawned on me that this was really important. It explained a lot of what is going on with me.
Elizabeth wrote:
I have never looked in the mirror in boy mode and thought I was attractive. Not once. However I think I am quite attractive when I have makeup on and have on women's clothes.
I feel I am attractive in girl mode, and somewhat less attractive in boy mode.
In my wedding pictures from 26 years ago, I looked handsome. The tux fit me well, and I was happy.
Since then, I've aged, grayed, and put on weight. Natural things, but there isn't much a man can do about them. Women, however have COSMETICS and such things.
I usually feel attractive in either mode. But that may have to do more with how I feel about myself than with how I look. Hard to feel attractive when, although "jyu look maaahvelous," you're an emotional wreck on the inside. How I feel about myself doesn't really change, regardless of whether I'm wearing a skirt and heels or a pair of jeans and cotton jockeys.
I know that my face is very much a man's face but--and this is where attitude may come into play--I still think it sits well in my feminine persona. I just wouldn't be "CJ" without my somewhat puggish nose (which no amount of "PhotoShopping" will ever straighten out) and my wide-set eyes and whatever other "flaw" I wish to look for in my appearance. I wish, rather, that my face mirror my soul. Ultimately, this is where I feel most attractive. Hopefully, it shows in my features, regardless of their physical arrangement.
AS I have said before, Virginia is a woman that loves to look good and her desire to take care of herself "spills over" to my male image. Lots of situps to keep the waist line down - good diet for the same reason and taking care of your skin. Wash your face and moisturize often. Use the good stuff on your face to keep down the wrinkles and lines. Watch were you put your hands to keep the injuries down and hopefully no or few broken nails. This enhances the male appearance, but it does wonders for applying make-up and I have found that the better care I take care of my skin (face too) the less make-up I need. Sure it takes time, but the rewards are worth it and it does make a difference. Drink lots of water everyday, especially in the winter - dry heat can do a lot of damage so we have to work hard to prevent that.
Take care of yor teeth as that smile can do absolute wonders for you. Some of the over the counter teeth whiteners actually work. Again it is time consuming, but if you want to make the girl look pretty - Pay the Price!!
Love ya,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
I'm just starting to understand that, yes, Virgil is kind've attractive too; and that my lack of success in love is likely more to do with my own self-esteem and thus presentation of myself than any genuinely basic appearance-linked factor.
I have a nice pic of Virgil that I may post in the photo gallery for comparison purposes (if, that is, such a thing were to be allowed...)
"There's something wrong with him. He should be mine, but he's not. His madness... his madness keeps him sane..."
Delirium, 'the Sandman', Niel Gaiman
INSANE GOTHIK DIVA SYNDROME
I don't feel particularly attractive or unattractive either way. I'm just an average plain Jane. But I am comfortable with the equipment I was given at birth.
Whatever you accomplish in life is a manifestation not so much of what you do, as of what you believe deeply within yourself that you deserve. - Les Brown
Gelinda, honey you gotta chill out - anyone who has a planet named after them - that is sooooo cool! . I'll bet with a little coaching and wearing the proper clothing you would be a knockout! Buy some of the "ladies" magazines, Vogue. Elle, Self, Cosmo and see some of the styles and looks and the different make-up ads and try some of them, you will surprise yourself. Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
As this is a family rated forum I cannot show you my face ( in boy-mode ) , it
would frighten your children and they would require professional help to deal with the nightmares that follow.
This has always seemed like an important issue for my CDing. I feel attracive as a female. Growing up I felt unattractive as a male. I don't think this necessarily caused my crossdressing, but it does seem to have reinforced it later. The more I feel like I am physically attractive to women, the less interested I am in crossdressing.
The more I feel like I am physically attractive to women, the less interested I am in crossdressing.
My experience is an interesting twist on that. I seem to be more attractive to women as a crossdresser. Is it the mystery? Does my female appearance seem more congruent to my personality? Is it a sense of fun? Does my personality shine more? I'm not really sure of the reasons. But all I know is that I have a small stable of women friends who would happily throw themselves at me if I were available.
I've discussed this with my wife. We have laughed about it. She truly loves me--she'll take me either way. And she's the only one I want.
Hi Elizabeth--
This is certainly an intriguing topic!
I would agree with Rikki--I'm still somewhat attractive in boy mode, but age has done a number on my face, and it's easier to fix it up as a gal than it is as a guy.
A lot of the fun of being a man, for me, was the idea that a wonderful romance was just around the corner--I had a lot of chance encounters that lead to good things.
But there came a point in my life where I was forced to see that I couldn't keep doing this--I didn't have the time and the energy for romantic partners anymore. Believe me, this was not an easy thing to accept, but
it is the same thing as swearing off credit cards. I was using emotional "credit" that I didn't have, in order to keep up the boy/girl game that I'd always played. And I have a very full life, with lots of other kinds of relationships, so it's not like not I'm alone in the world just because I don't have a steady mate.
So I guess my situation is a lot like being married. I still want to look my best out there, but I'm not in the market for a partner. So it's a balancing act to be attractive, but not lead someone on at the same time.
Cathy Anderson wrote:This has always seemed like an important issue for my CDing. I feel attracive as a female. Growing up I felt unattractive as a male. I don't think this necessarily caused my crossdressing, but it does seem to have reinforced it later.
Cathy
Same here Cathy ,
growing up I wondered why I had big lips and a girly smile , I wondered why I looked different to most boys.
I was self-concious of the fact I was not a handsome boy and became withdrawn and didn't mix with people.
At around 14 years old I was mistaken for a girl in front of 200 people at a porpoise show , I appeared embarrased but secretly enjoyed the moment.
At that time I had serious questions about myself , I grew my hair long a couple of years later and felt good about myself for the first time.
The long-hair seemed to make me feel like I was attractive .
